Crazy
by Cactus101
Summary: My take on why Bosco and Sully don't get along. Takes place shortly after Bosco graduates from the Police Academy.
1. Default Chapter

Summary: My take on why Bosco and Sully don't get along. Takes place shortly after Bosco graduates from the Police Academy  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Third Watch or any of its characters.  
  
A/N: This story previously posted on another Third Watch site but I was encouraged to post it here as well by Joey and Orison. Enjoy.  
  
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"The little bastard is driving me crazy." Sully says with disgust. His fellow officer, George Grady looks back at him with a bemused look.  
  
It is a late autumn day and they're both wearing their jackets and taking advantage of the piping hot coffee to warm their hands as they lean on a park bench.  
  
"Sul, he's not bad, just..."  
  
"Just what?" Sully eyes Grady suspiciously.  
  
"Just a pain in the ass." Grady smirks. "Give him a break, he's fresh out of the Academy. Anyway, you've got what, three more months to mold him."  
  
"If I don't kill him before then."  
  
Suddenly, screeching tires are heard as an RMP rounds the corner quickly. Sully sighs with exasperation and looks back at Grady. "How the hell am I supposed to mold that?"  
  
The RMP comes to a shrieking halt. A young, fresh faced officer leans down and looks out towards the two waiting officers.  
  
Sully makes his way to the RMP slowly. He taps his fingers lazily on the passenger side window and waits for it to lower before leaning down.  
  
"Boscorelli, you're not supposed to be speeding. That's exactly why I don't let you drive," he says loud enough for Grady to hear.  
  
"But Sul, I thought you said it was an emergency," he replies sincerely as he fishes inside a paper bag and hands Sully a danish.  
  
Sully gives the young officer an angry look and snatches the Danish out of his hand. Grady starts laughing and Sully quickly turns to glare at him too.  
  
Seeing the anger in Sully's eyes, Grady decides it's time to take his leave.  
  
"I'd love to stay and chat with you fellows but my partner is waiting for me." Grady quickly nods his goodbyes to Sully and Bosco and walks in the opposite direction.  
  
Sully turns back to Bosco and sees the self satisfied smirk on his face.  
  
"Get out. I'm driving."  
  
"But Sul, you never let me drive. You won't let me do anything, except the damn paperwork." Bosco's voice has a whiny edge to it, like a child wanting his toy.  
  
"Get out!" Sully yells.  
  
"Fat ass." Bosco mutters under his breath.  
  
Sully crosses his arms and taps his fingers over his stripes. "What did you say?"  
  
"I said fat chance I'll ever drive this damn car." Bosco yells as he slams the driver side door.  
  
"You need a real attitude adjustment, my friend. And you better not forget who's gonna submit a report at the end of your six month probation." Sully makes sure to emphasize the word probation as Bosco walks by him to the passenger side of the vehicle.  
  
Bosco in turn makes a face and mouths the word probation when Sully is behind him.  
  
A small boy sees the exchange and giggles. Bosco sticks out his tongue, puts his thumbs in his ears and wiggles his fingers at the boy.  
  
"For God's sake Bosco, just try acting your age for once." Sully gets into the RMP awkwardly as he tries to balance his Danish on his coffee.  
  
Bosco just smiles and winks at the kid who is being hauled around by his mother. "I know exactly how you feel kid," he says to no one in particular.  
  
Sully places his coffee between the two front seats as Bosco flops into the vehicle. Both officers watch as the coffee swishes around the cup and comes splashing out. This earns Bosco another annoyed stare from Sully.  
  
"I swear Bosco, riding with you is like riding with a ten year-old. Can't you do anything without causing a ruckus?"  
  
"Sorry Sully." Bosco puts his head down and digs through the glove compartment for some napkins. A small smile makes its way onto his face when he's sure Sully isn't watching.  
  
Suddenly, the radio comes to life. "Central to 55-Charlie, respond to 10-34 at 565 King St."  
  
Bosco jumps on his mike "Copy Central, 55-Charlie responding to 10-34 at 565 King St."  
  
Sully puts the car in gear quickly and speeds towards the address given to them by Central.

* * *

"I ain't talking to you, Humpty Dumpty." The taller of the two black men yells out at Sully. He is obviously agitated as he paces in front of the two officers who stand between him and the victim.  
  
Bosco takes a step towards him and puts his hand on his nightstick. "Hey jag-off, you better apologize to Officer Sullivan here on that crack you just made."  
  
The tall black man stops pacing and looks down at Bosco from about three feet away. "Or what?" He sneers.  
  
"Alright, everybody calm down." Sully says as he moves between them.  
  
Bosco never takes his eyes off the perp. "Oh, I'm calm but I think my friend here needs to apologize to you."  
  
"Like hell I will. First of all, I want to press charges against that son of a bitch right there," he says pointing to the victim. "He tried to steal my woman."  
  
"Hey – hey, the only one who's gonna get charged is you, for assault. You can't go around hitting people." Sully explains to the tall black man. He turns and points to the victim. "Hey you. Get over here."  
  
The victim eyes Sully suspiciously but takes a couple of steps in his direction. "Do you want to press charges?"  
  
The victim shrugs his shoulders and looks down. In a barely audible voice he responds no.  
  
"Okay, then get the hell out of here." Sully watches as he walks away quickly and then turns his attention back to the tall one.  
  
"You. I don't want to have to come back for you again. Stay away from him and behave. 'Cause the next time I'm gonna throw you in jail myself."  
  
"You gonna let this jag-off get away with a warning?" Bosco questions Sully.  
  
"Well what do you want me to do, Maurice?" Sully quips back.  
  
"Maurice? Hah, what kind of a stupid name is that?"  
  
Bosco blushes and stares back at Sully.  
  
The perp continues in on both of them. "I've got Laurel and Hardy here trying to figure out what to do. Don't they have any real cops working in New York?" He doubles over laughing.  
  
Bosco pulls his nightstick out and takes a step forward. Sully moves quickly to intercept him and pushes him away before he can take a swing.  
  
"Hey, get the hell out of here." Sully shouts. The perp takes his cue and jogs away from the two officers still laughing loudly.  
  
Bosco paces nervously in front of Sully, the muscles in his jaw quivering and his hands clenching and unclenching.  
  
Sully crosses his arms and watches for a few seconds before speaking up. "Boscorelli, you can't go around popping people because they insult you. You're gonna end up with a charge of police brutality on your file."  
  
Bosco stops and turns towards Sully angrily. "You didn't have to do that, Sully." He continues to pace. "He was laughing at us. We looked like a couple of idiots who couldn't get out act together."  
  
"No, you looked like an idiot trying to get him to apologize to me. That's not what we're out here to do. We're here to solve problems."  
  
"Well, we can't solve any problems if they're all laughing at us, Sully. We need to show them whose boss. They have to know they can't get away with that crap with us." He shakes his head and looks away.  
  
"Listen to me kid. You are not in Rangers here. You are a New York City policeman. Your job is to serve and protect." Sully points to the motto stamped on the RMP. "This is not a war zone and you can't treat everyone like the enemy."  
  
"This is a war zone Sully. Can't you see that? That jag-off wouldn't hesitate to pop either one of us if he had the chance."  
  
Sully puts his hand up. "Boscorelli, not everyone is out to get us. Get over your paranoia." He turns and walks back to the RMP.  
  
Bosco stands there for a few seconds before kicking a can viciously. "Son of a bitch." He mutters, then breathes deeply before making his way to the RMP.

* * *

The locker room is nearly empty when Bosco storms in and quickly moves to his locker. Faith watches him as he turns the combination lock and opens the locker viciously causing it to bang onto the opposing grill. Hearing the loud metallic noise only incites Bosco to take his anger out on the locker. He slams the door shut several times before kicking it once for good measure.  
  
Faith walks over towards Bosco and leans on the adjoining lockers. "Had a rough day?"  
  
Bosco notices her for the first time since entering the room. His embarrassment is evident as he stares into his locker while ripping his clothes off the hooks and throwing them onto the bench.  
  
"Ok, you don't have to talk to me about it." Faith tilts her head to get a better view of his face but otherwise doesn't move.  
  
"Not now, Faith. I'm not in the mood." He roughly undoes the buttons on his shirt and yanks hard on his belt buckle to get it open, all the while refusing to look at her.  
  
Voices are heard approaching the locker. There is raucous laughter and barely audible words. Bosco lowers his head and closes his eyes. "Son of a bitch," he yells out. He grabs his locker and slams it again. Faith watches as it swings back and forth a few times. Bosco gets up and goes to the washroom. Faith hears the unmistakable sound of the bathroom stall slamming.  
  
Sully, Grady and a couple of the other senior officers walk into the locker room. They ignore her and go straight to their lockers.  
  
"...And then he says, 'what kind of a stupid name is Maurice?' The look on Boscorelli's face was priceless. I wanted to laugh so bad." They all roar with laughter. Faith looks towards the washroom but she knows he won't be coming out any time soon.  
  
She moves back to her locker and finishes changing all the while listening to Sully recounting the events of their evening.  
  
Once everyone has left she makes her way back to the washroom. Before she can even speak out, Bosco yells out. "Leave me alone, Faith."  
  
Faith waits a few seconds, unsure of what to do next. When there is no sign of life within the washroom she decides to leave well enough alone. She's seen him get upset like this before. He has quite the temper and she knows he just needs time alone.  
  
She turns to leave but not before calling out, "Goodnight Boz."  
  
She doesn't expect a response and doesn't get one.  
  
TBC.... 


	2. Crazy 2

Summary: My take on why Bosco and Sully don't get along. Takes place shortly after Bosco graduates from the Police Academy

Disclaimer: I don't own Third Watch or any of its characters.

A/N: This story previously posted on another Third Watch site but I was encouraged to post it here as well by Joey and Orison. Enjoy.

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Faith watches as Bosco runs into the locker room a few minutes before roll call. She is already dressed as are most of the other officers. Sully adjusts his jacket and brushes past her.  
  
"Hey Boscorelli, you better not be late today or we'll have to review the code book instead of patrolling." Sully laughs and walks out of the room.  
  
Faith approaches Bosco and sees the smirk on his face as he races to get his uniform on.  
  
"Bosco, I saw you outside half an hour ago. I know you didn't just get here, so what are you plotting." Her eyes light up mischievously.  
  
Bosco smiles back and says with mock hurt in his voice. "Why Faith, I don't know what you're talking about." He winks at her as he pulls on his shirt.  
  
Faith glances at the clock on the wall. "You better move it. You have less than a minute."  
  
Bosco grabs his gun belt and shuts his locker. "Let's go."  
  
Roll call ends and Bosco rushes to get his jacket and retrieve the radios. He runs outside, not wanting to miss the fun when Sully gets into the RMP. He races towards his vehicle and runs right into Sully as he turns the corner. Bosco bounces off Sully and drops both radios. Everyone stops to watch as the radios bounce off the asphalt with a loud clattering sound.  
  
Bosco looks down and then back up at Sully. Sully just rams his fists into his pockets, rolls his eyes and sighs loudly. "I swear, a ten-year old is better than this any day."  
  
"Sorry, Sul. I didn't see you and I didn't want us to be late getting out on the street." Bosco bends to retrieve the radios.  
  
"Just get in the damn car, Boscorelli." Sully rubs his temple. "How come I always feel a headache coming on when I gotta work with you?" Sully asks rhetorically as he opens his door. He slides into the driver side seat and is instantly crushed against the steering wheel as the seat is too far forward.  
  
Bosco gets in on his side. "Whoa, that's a little tight there isn't it Sul?"  
  
"Who the hell used the RMP last, a midget?" barks out Sully. He reaches down and forward to try and move the seat back but is unable to reach the lever. His head is turned and his chin is resting against the steering wheel and he starts to grunt at the effort.  
  
Bosco watches and tries to keep himself from laughing out loud. He glances out the window so Sully won't see him just as Faith walks by. She stares at a red faced Sully. Bosco just winks at her as she stifles a laugh.  
  
Sully is huffing as he tries to extricate himself from the seat. "I'm gonna...kill the idiot...that moved the seat up..." Sully stops suddenly and turns towards Bosco.  
  
"What?" Bosco yells out defensively. "Why is it always my fault?"  
  
"Because – it is. Now get down there and move the seat back." Sully wiggles around to get the steering wheel off his abdomen.  
  
"Why do I have to do all the dirty work?" whines Bosco.  
  
"Bosco – now!" Sully's patience is wearing thin.  
  
Bosco scoots down and reaches down under the seat with his left hand. He moves his arm around until he feels the lever. He grabs on to it and chuckles to himself before giving it a tug.  
  
"Well, move it," Sully pants out. His face is reddening with the effort of trying to push himself away from the steering wheel.  
  
"It's stuck, Sul." Bosco gives it another hard jerk but he's fixed it so it won't budge. He gets back into his seat and looks at Sully. "Yep, it's stuck. But, you know what? I'm pretty sure I'll be able to drive, no problem."  
  
"YOU ARE NOT DRIVING," Sully yells out. He wriggles to try to remove himself from the tight spot he's in.  
  
A couple of officers stop to watch the scene before them.  
  
Bosco jumps out of the vehicle and in his most concerned voice says, "Do you need me to call the firefighters?"  
  
Sully turns and stares angrily at Bosco as the officers begin to laugh.  
  
"You know, they have the 'jaws of life.' They could help you get out. It'll only take them a couple of minutes."  
  
A few more officers join the group standing and watching. Bosco runs over to Sully's side and grabs his arm. "Here, let me help." Bosco braces his leg against the side of the car and heaves mightily in an effort to remove Sully.  
  
Sully moves around and accidentally presses on the horn. The accompanying beeping causes everyone to laugh out loud.  
  
Bosco doesn't miss the opportunity to rub it in. "Sul, I warned you to lay-off the baker's dozen special at Dunkin' Donuts yesterday."  
  
Sully yanks his arm away from Bosco's grasp and after a couple of attempts manages to ease himself out of the car painfully. He eyes Bosco angrily then turns to the other officers. "The show is over. Get to work."  
  
The crowd disperses slowly, some still laughing others just smiling.  
  
"And you." Sully turns slowly to face Bosco. "You are in serious trouble my friend."  
  
"What? Why am I in trouble?"  
  
"I'm writing you up on this one." Sully turns to walk towards the station.  
  
"Go ahead, write me up. I'd love to see the report when you're done." Bosco puts his hand under his chin and looks up in a pensive pose. "Let me see." He slowly raps his fingers on his chin. "I was trapped in the RMP because the seat wouldn't move back and let's face it, I'm a little too big. My partner did everything in his power to get me out before I died of embarrassment."  
  
Sully stops. He knows he won't go through with his threat because Bosco's right- it would be too embarrassing to explain. But, it bothers him that Bosco knows him so well after only a few months together.  
  
Bosco crosses him arms and leans against the RMP, he waits for Sully to turn around and make his way back. To his surprise, Sully continues on towards the house.  
  
"Damn, the fat bastard does have balls," he murmurs to himself. Then realizes the implications of Sully's report and hangs his head. "I'm totally screwed."  
  
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"God, it's only 9 o'clock," Bosco moans. "It feels like tonight is never gonna end."  
  
Sully doesn't reply or look at him. They've barely spoken during the shift unless absolutely necessary. Bosco was expecting to be called into the office to explain what happened to 55-Charlie but Sully just came back out with the keys to 55-Frank.  
  
Bosco looks back towards Sully, but he's still ignoring him.  
  
Not being able to talk is driving Bosco crazy and he starts to play the bongo drums on his thighs while humming a tune.  
  
Sully sighs deeply, closes his eyes, and rubs his temple. Then, without a word, he pulls over, parks the RMP, opens his door and heads out towards a coffee shop.  
  
Bosco stares stupidly at Sully walking away then turns to the empty driver's seat. "Bosco, would you like a coffee?" he asks himself out loud. "Why that would be splendid, Officer Sullivan," he replies cordially.  
  
Bosco opens his door and jogs after Sully. He stays a few steps behind not wanting to upset him even more. Suddenly, a man comes running out of the coffee shop followed by the shop owner. "Stop. Stop, you thief."  
  
"Hey you..." yells out Sully. "You- stop." Sully runs after the perp.  
  
Bosco gives chase and easily passes Sully.  
  
Seeing that he won't be able to keep up Sully shouts out to Bosco, "I'll get the RMP and follow." Sully watches as Bosco continues to chase the perp who had a good head start. Sully slows down and leans over to catch his breath. He turns back towards the shop owner. "Good job, Manny. That was just perfect." They both laugh.  
  
They walk back to the shop where Sully picks up a coffee before heading back to the RMP. He's not expecting to see his partner for a while so he gets comfortable with his coffee and prepares to enjoy the peace and quiet of being alone again.  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Bosco chases the perp across 7 city blocks. The whole time he's looking for any sign of Sully. He can't understand where he could be. He grabs his mike and huffs into the radio. "Sully...I'm on Lexington...just west of King..."  
  
" Copy you Bosco, I'm on my way."  
  
Bosco follows the perp into an alleyway and smiles when he realizes the perp has no way out. He slows to a jog. "Turn around... put your hands... against the wall." Bosco yells while trying to catch his breath.  
  
"Man...they didn't tell me...you're a fast bugger," laughs the perp.  
  
"Put your hands up against the wall, jag-off." Bosco pulls out his gun.  
  
The perp instantly puts his hands up over his head. "Whoa, buddy...no need for that."  
  
"Move it." Bosco waves his gun towards the wall. The perp moves over and leans his hands on the wall and Bosco holsters his weapon.  
  
"Well, well, what do we have here?" A couple of officers walk into the alley. Bosco recognizes Officers Michaels and Giambetti.  
  
"I've been chasing this jag-off since 102nd and Arthur." Bosco explains. "Hey, have you seen Sully? He's supposed to be following me."  
  
"Funny you should ask about Sully. He's the one that asked us to check up on you." Giambetti leers at Bosco.  
  
"Hey kid." Michaels nods towards the perp, "here's your money, now get lost." He holds out some cash as the perp moves away from the wall and takes it greedily before running off.  
  
"What are you guys doing?" Bosco asks incredulously.  
  
"We just wanted to have a good laugh at your expense Boscorelli." Michaels snickers as he approaches Bosco. "He's no perp. Sully just set it up to look that way."  
  
"Oh wait, let me take notes because that is soooo damn hilarious." Bosco replies sarcastically then tilts his head slightly and cups his ear. "Do you hear that?" Both Michaels and Giambetti look at each other questioningly. "I'm laughing so hard on the inside that I'm splitting my gut." Bosco snorts in disgust and walks towards the entrance of the alley.  
  
"Oh, I see. You can dish it out, but you can't take it." Michaels steps in front of Bosco and Giambetti moves in from the side.  
  
"No, I can take it. But I've been had by pre-schoolers who were more creative than you guys."  
  
"This guy's a real smart ass, hey Giambi?" Micheals looks knowingly at Giambetti.  
  
"Yeah, and you guys are a couple of morons." Bosco tries to push past them but Giambetti grabs him from behind. "What the..." Bosco never finishes because Michaels leans into him and knees him hard in the groin.  
  
Bosco doubles over in pain as all the air is knocked out of his lungs and his hands instinctively move down.  
  
Giambetti grabs Bosco's arms and pulls them behind his back. "Get the tape. Hurry," he orders.  
  
Michaels grabs the roll of electrical tape he has in the back of his belt and tears of a good sized strip and slaps it over Bosco's mouth. "There, that should keep that smart mouth of yours shut for a while." Bosco's eyes are closed tightly as he fights the nausea and pain. Forced to breathe through his nose only, his breaths comes harshly.  
  
"Pull his arms back further," barks Michaels. Giambetti pulls Bosco elbows as close together as his body will allow. Bosco groans loudly as the pressure on his shoulders becomes unbearable. Michaels winds the tape around Bosco's elbows, keeping them forced together in an unnatural position.  
  
Giambetti lets go of Bosco who drops to his knees. He leans his head down to the ground to try and ease the pressure off his shoulders and protect himself from another blow to the groin. Michaels grabs his hands roughly and tapes them together as well. He looks over at Giambetti and motions with his head. "Get the car."  
  
As Giambetti jogs away, Michaels pushes Bosco roughly on his back.  
  
Bosco groans from the pain in his shoulders now that all his weight is on his arms. He tries to roll to the side but not before Michaels puts his foot on his chest to keep him on his back.  
  
"I think we should spend some quality time together, Boscorelli. What do you think?" Michaels puts more of his weight on Bosco's chest.  
  
Bosco twists his head and tries to roll away, his strangled cries comprehensible only in their desperation.  
  
"So, you're gonna give me trouble tonight, huh?" Michaels growls then rears back and kicks Bosco in the side just below the protection offered by his vest.  
  
Bosco's knees come up reflexively and he curls into a ball as he desperately tries to draw oxygen into his lungs. Michaels eyes his handiwork for a second before yanking Bosco's radio from his belt.  
  
The RMP is now beside him and Giambetti walks to the rear and opens up the trunk. Michaels grabs Bosco roughly by the arms and hauls him up ignoring Bosco's laboured efforts to breathe with the tape over his mouth.  
  
"You're gonna ride with us tonight Boscorelli, 'cause your partner is sick of you," laughs Giambetti.  
  
Michaels pushes Bosco towards the trunk but Bosco digs his feet into the ground to stop the forward movement.  
  
"Ah, I see he's still got some fight left in him." Michaels continues to push Bosco from behind until he's right by the car trunk.  
  
Giambetti grabs Bosco by the collar and tries to push his head down into trunk. Bosco braces himself against the car in an effort to stave off the inevitable.  
  
Michaels takes this opportunity to retrieve his nightstick and swings it hard behind Bosco knee causing him to stumble and fall forward into the trunk. Giambetti grabs his legs and throws him in all the way. They both slam the trunk shut and high five each other before getting into the RMP and driving off.  
  
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Sully puts down his paper and eyes his watch. It's almost 10:30. Grady must be doing a great job of keeping Bosco busy.  
  
He folds the paper neatly and throws it on to the passenger side seat. He turns the key in the ignition and drives eastward. A small smile makes its way onto his face and he starts to hum. He can't remember the last time he felt so relaxed.  
  
Sully notices 55-Edward is parked in front of the diner where they usually stop. Sully parks and checks inside the RMP before making his way into the diner. He spots Grady and his partner Dubois sitting at the counter.  
  
Sully makes his way towards them and waves off the waitress who is about to pour a coffee for him. "I can't right now, Edna. Thanks."  
  
Grady turns when he hears Sully's voice. He is mid-bite into his turkey sandwich but motions for Sully to sit.  
  
Sully shakes his head and remains standing. "Hey, I was waiting for your call. I was on my way to the bridge. " He looks around but doesn't see Bosco in the diner. "Where's Bosco?"  
  
Grady chews his sandwich quickly and grabs his napkin to wipe his chin. "Sorry, Sul. We got stuck on a call so Michaels and Giambetti volunteered to keep Bosco busy."  
  
"What?" Sully tenses suddenly. He checks his watch again. "Michaels and Giambetti? sht! Why didn't you tell me?"  
  
"Sorry Sul, I didn't know it made a difference." Grady says apologetically.  
  
"Yeah, well Bosco has a talent for getting under people's skin, and he got under Michaels skin in his first week. There's no telling what they'll do to him."  
  
"Sul, don't you think you're over reacting here?"  
  
"No." Sully works his way back towards the entrance then turns back to Grady. "If you hear anything, let me know ASAP."  
  
Grady nods and waves him off as he takes another bite of his sandwich.  
  
Sully jogs towards the RMP quickly puts the car in gear. He speeds off in search of 55-D.  
  
TBC... 


	3. Crazy 3

Summary: My take on why Bosco and Sully don't get along. Takes place shortly after Bosco graduates from the Police Academy

Disclaimer: I don't own Third Watch or any of its characters.

A/N: This story previously posted on another Third Watch site but I was encouraged to post it here as well by Joey and Orison. Enjoy.

First of all, I would like to apologize for the delay in posting this chapter because I know how anxious the readers get for updates, but I blame it all on the computer gods.

And secondly, I'm always amazed at the wonderful feedback the readers provide, especially those of you that have already read the story and know the outcome. Thanks!

* * *

Giambetti and Michaels saunter back to the RMP after checking into a false alarm at one of the shops on 83rd, they're chatting and laughing about their previous call.  
  
"Did you see the look on the guys face when he heard the banging from the trunk." Michaels snorts and imitates the perp. "Officer, what's that noise? You got someone in your trunk?"  
  
Giambetti turns and laughs. "Yeah, but did you see his reaction when you told him if he didn't shut-up, he was gonna get thrown in there too."  
  
They both get in the RMP and sit for a couple of seconds before Michaels starts the engine.  
  
Giambetti turns toward the back seat when he doesn't hear anything. "He stopped banging around back there, you think he's okay?"  
  
"I'm surprised the son of a bitch lasted this long. Remember that kid O'Reilly, he stopped kicking 10 minutes and we didn't even give him the full treatment like Boscorelli." Michaels gloats. "Yeah, we even had to call his partner to pick him up."  
  
"Maybe we should call Sully." Giambetti offers.  
  
"Nah, let's just dump him as per the plan. Sullivan might not appreciate us babysitting his rookie. Remember what happened last time?" Michaels snickers and drives off towards the bridge.  
  
A couple of minutes later, they park in an empty, grassy lot under the bridge. Michaels walks towards the trunk and opens it with his key. Bosco is curled up on his side and his breathing is rapid. He blinks against the lights assaulting his unaccustomed eyes.  
  
"Boscorelli, I'm glad to see you're still with us," Michaels chuckles menacingly. He pulls Bosco up from the back of his collar and hauls him up and dangles him halfway out of the trunk. Bosco struggles and mumbles something unintelligible.  
  
"What's that Boscorelli? You don't need my help," says Michaels mockingly. "Okay, have it your way." Michaels suddenly lets go of Bosco who isn't able to brace himself and slams into the ground face first.  
  
Michaels looks over at Giambetti and shrugs his shoulders apologetically. "Oops." They both roar out laughing. Michaels rolls Bosco over onto his side with a push of his foot and notices the blood flowing from his nose. "We better get rid of the evidence before Sully gets here."  
  
Giambetti nods his agreement and kneels next to Bosco. He pulls out a pocketknife and starts to slice through the electrical tape holding his arms together. He rips the tape off, and rolls it up into a ball before placing it in his pocket. Bosco's arms fall limply to his side.  
  
Michaels bends down, grabs hold of a corner of the tape over Bosco's mouth and rips it off forcefully. Bosco manages a weak groan but doesn't open his eyes. Michaels stares at him for a moment before wiping a few drops of blood off his hands.  
  
"Looks like he's out cold," comments Giambetti.  
  
"Yeah, and it's a cold night," replies Michaels as he gets up and rubs his hands, "I hope his partner gets here soon." Michaels drops Bosco's radio next to him and laughs loudly as he motions for Giambetti to head out.  
  
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Sully turns the RMP quickly into the grassy field under the bridge; this is where he's supposed to pick-up Bosco. He gets out of the vehicle and looks around. He hopes to see Bosco coming towards him, cursing him out about the goose chase he's been on for the last two hours.  
  
Sully looks around but doesn't see anyone. He grabs his mike off his shoulder clip. "55-Frank to Central, please advise status of 55-David."  
  
"55-Frank, 55-David is back at the house, over."  
  
Sully stares at his mike as he is lost in thought. "Thanks Central."  
  
Sully pulls out his flashlight and starts to roam in the field. "Bosco," he calls out.  
  
Sully considers whether he should call Bosco over the radio because this would alert everyone listening that he doesn't know the whereabouts of his partner. "Damnit, Bosco answer me if you're here." Sully stops and listens for any noise. He turns around completely and scans the area again. He stops when he sees a figure stumble in the distance.  
  
"Sh-t," he mutters as he starts to jog in that direction.  
  
He slows to a walk and picks up the radio lying on the ground. "Bosco?" he asks as he approaches cautiously.  
  
Bosco is doubled over, his arms wound tightly around his abdomen; he's trying to catch his breath. When he notices Sully approaching he starts to limp slowly away, but doesn't get very far before he stumbles and falls on his knees. He lets out a low moan and Sully approaches quickly.  
  
"Get away from me," Bosco says desperately as he tries to crawl away from Sully.  
  
"Bosco...I'm not gonna hurt you," Sully reassures him.  
  
"I said... stay away," Bosco pants nervously.  
  
Sully swallows as the words catch in his throat. "Bosco, I'm sorry." He moves in closer and notices Bosco's flushed appearance, the blood on his face, the beads of sweat rolling off his forehead, and the dirt and mud caked onto his uniform. "Son of a bitch," he curses angrily.  
  
Bosco ignores Sully and attempts to stand again as Sully watches helplessly. He manages to push himself up to a semi standing position and limps badly as he makes his way towards the street.  
  
Sully follows him and after watching Bosco take a few painful steps, turns and walks away. A minute later, he manoeuvres the RMP right next to Bosco who hasn't managed to get very far.  
  
He continues to follow from the vehicle until Bosco stops again to try and catch his breath. Sully takes the opportunity to jump out, walk over to the passenger side and open the door. "I'll take you home," he offers and waits patiently.  
  
Bosco weighs his options. He doesn't move for about 30 seconds but then slowly turns towards the RMP and limps towards the open door.  
  
Sully moves aside as Bosco painfully lets himself into the car. Sully closes the door and moves to the driver's seat.  
  
He looks over at Bosco who has his eyes closed and is shivering slightly. Sully notices Bosco's jacket in the back seat. He leans over and fiddles with the heater settings before cranking the fan on high.  
  
They ride in silence except for the occasional groan from Bosco. They finally arrive outside Bosco's building a short time later.  
  
"Bosco," Sully waits for an acknowledgment.  
  
Bosco turns his head and stares at Sully, his eyes display both weariness and sadness at the same time. "Why, Sully? You're supposed to be my partner," he says weakly.  
  
"Bosco, I'm sorry. I had no idea those guys would get involved. I never meant for this to happen..."  
  
"I don't care about them." He swallows and closes his eyes. "You're just like everybody else, always trying to get rid of me," he whispers softly.  
  
Sully turns away and looks down in shame. "I'm sorry," he whispers. He waits for Bosco to tell him to stuff his apology but he doesn't get a response. He looks over at Bosco who shivers slightly. "Do you want me to take you to a hospital?" Sully asks worriedly.  
  
Bosco shakes his head no. "I just want to go to bed...no hospitals," he murmurs groggily.  
  
"Okay let's get you upstairs."  
  
Bosco refuses any help so Sully is forced to follow closely and keep his eye on him. Slowly and painfully Bosco limps and drags his way to his apartment door.  
  
By now, Bosco is sweating profusely and panting. He searches for his keys inside his pocket and retrieves them slowly. He has little strength in his hands from his arms being forced back for such a long period of time. The muscles in his shoulders and neck burn and his hands tremble weakly. He is unable to insert the key in the hole and he leans his head against the door and closes his eyes in frustration.  
  
Sully reaches over and gently take the keys from him and unlocks the door. He notices Bosco is unaware of his actions and announces, "Bosco, it's unlocked."  
  
Bosco opens his eyes wearily and looks down at his hands. He pushes himself away from the door and grabs the handle and turns it before pushing the door weakly. He limps in but doesn't bother to turn on the light. He feels his way around the furniture and makes his way to the washroom. Sully follows dutifully and turns the light on in the washroom for him.  
  
Bosco moves towards the toilet and starts to unzip his pants. He turns to eye Sully. "Do you mind?" he says hoarsely.  
  
Sully turns and walks to the kitchen. He searches the freezer for ice then rummages through the drawers for a plastic bag and a dishcloth. He stops suddenly when he hears a loud moan.  
  
He rushes to the washroom. "You okay, Bosco?" He asks through the door.  
  
A few seconds later Bosco limps out of the washroom. He doesn't bother to answer Sully but the pained look on his face alerts Sully that something is wrong. Sully takes a hold of Bosco's elbow and guides him to the couch.  
  
Bosco lets himself down into a sitting position, then leans his head back and closes his eyes.  
  
Sully watches him for a second then makes his way back to the washroom. He looks down into the bowl and sees a sea of red. "Sh-t," he murmurs. He flushes and goes back to the living room.  
  
"Bosco, you need a doctor, you're peeing blood."  
  
"It's nothing," Bosco murmurs without opening his eyes.  
  
"It's not nothing Bosco. You need to see a doctor." Sully insists as he moves to look for a telephone.  
  
Bosco opens his eyes slowly. "Leave, Sully."  
  
The coldness in Bosco's eyes takes Sully by surprise. He remains frozen to the spot unable to respond and debating what to do next.  
  
Bosco sighs loudly and as if to appease Sully says, "I'll be okay. I've been through this before. It's nothing. Just leave."  
  
Sully stares back in disbelief, disturbed by the idea that Bosco is used to getting beat up, or peeing blood or both. He tries to process this information and decides he doesn't need to upset Bosco right now. He turns back to the kitchen and brings out the ice bag and a glass of water and places them on the table next to him. "Here's some ice and some water."  
  
Bosco relaxes as he watches Sully move to the door, and allows his eyes to shut when he is assured Sully is leaving.  
  
Sully takes one last look back at Bosco. "I'll be back later," he says quickly before exiting, not allowing Bosco a chance to respond.  
  
He leaves with one thing on his mind, catching up to Michaels and Giambetti.  
  
TBC... 


	4. Crazy 4

Summary: My take on why Bosco and Sully don't get along. Takes place shortly after Bosco graduates from the Police Academy

Disclaimer: I don't own Third Watch or any of its characters.

A/N: This story previously posted on another Third Watch site but I was encouraged to post it here as well by Joey and Orison. Enjoy.

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Sully walks in to Haggerty's and takes a moment to adjust to the loud music and the smoky haze. After returning to the house to change and pick up his car, he debated whether he should come here or go back to Bosco's apartment. Seeing Michaels laughing at the bar confirmed his feeling that he needs to take care of this tonight.  
  
Sully walks directly towards Michaels ignoring the other officers greeting him and inviting him to sit with them. Michaels notices Sully and smiles at him. "Hey, Sul, where's that partner of yours?"  
  
Sully grabs Michaels by the collar and swings hard. Michaels falls back as Sully's fist connects with his jaw. Immediately, the other officers jump in to hold Sully back.  
  
Michaels rubs his chin as he stares up at Sully. "What's your problem?"  
  
Sully shrugs off the hands holding him. "I'm okay. It's over." He watches everyone back off slowly. "Move out," he orders gruffly.  
  
Sully waits as the noise in the bar gets back to the normal loud volume. Michaels gets up slowly still rubbing his chin and moves to his stool. Sully leans in towards him and jabs him in the chest with his index finger. "You don't talk to my partner, you don't look at my partner, you don't even think about my partner. You got that. 'Cause the next time I catch you breathing in his direction, you're gonna have to answer to me."  
  
Michaels pushes Sully's hand away and looks back at him angrily. "Well, you're a fine one to talk. You're the one who wanted him out of your hair," he says accusingly. "And I heard about that prank he pulled today. You need to teach that little punk a lesson, so stop whining 'cause I did you favour."  
  
"You did me a favour?" Sully laughs sarcastically. "I didn't ask you to beat the crap out of him. So you and your idiot partner better heed my warning and stay the hell away from him," Sully warns before turning away and walking out.  
  
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Sully stands in front of Bosco's door with the keys in hand. He hesitates before unlocking it and letting himself in. He's the last person Bosco wants to see right now but he has to make sure he's okay.  
  
The apartment is silent as Sully quietly makes his way into the living room. Bosco is sleeping on the couch, sitting in the same position he was in when he left earlier.  
  
Sully drops the keys on the table and notices the ice is semi-melted and the glass of water is still full.  
  
Sully turns on the lamp next to the couch and moves in to take a closer look at Bosco. Bosc doesn't react at all but his breathing remains slow and even. Even with the blood and dirt caked onto his face and uniform he looks like a little kid.  
  
Sully is unsure of what to do next. Bosco is still wearing his gun belt and vest. If he tries to remove them it will probably wake him up.  
  
Sully sighs and takes a look around the apartment. The first thing that strikes him is how neat and ordered everything is. Although the furnishings are sparse, nothing seems to be out of place and everything is spotless. Must be the military training.  
  
He looks back down at Bosco and notices the bruises forming under his eyes and the swelling of his lip and decides it's best to let him rest for now. He reaches down and touches his hand; it's ice cold. Sully walks toward the bedroom and searches for a blanket or a throw. He returns to the living room and covers Bosco before retrieving the ice bag on the table and dumping the contents into the kitchen sink.  
  
Sully removes his jacket and drapes it over one of the kitchen chairs before returning to the living room and making himself comfortable on the couch across from Bosco.  
  
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The morning light begins to filter into the apartment causing Sully to stir. He blinks the sleep out of his eyes and scrubs his face with his hands. He takes a peek at his watch as he stifles a yawn. It is almost 7 a.m.  
  
He remembers where he is and rises to check on Bosco. The kid hasn't moved at all since last night; he's still sitting there, his head turned slightly to one side, the blanket half way up his chest.  
  
Sully works the kinks out of his neck before sitting next to Bosco. He definitely needs to get Bosco out of those clothes and cleaned up. If he's feeling this bad about sleeping on the couch he can imagine how Bosco's gonna feel.  
  
Sully removes the blanket and moves Bosco's hands from their resting place on his abdomen. He takes a hold of Bosco's belt and deftly unhooks the buckle. He glances at Bosco when he senses a change to his breathing. Bosco has a slight grimace on his face but his eyes remain closed. "Bosco, can you hear me?"  
  
"Um," is all Bosco can muster.  
  
Sully stands, and positions himself in front of Bosco, he pulls him forward and pulls the belt out from behind his back. Sully leans him back into the couch as Bosco begins to wake.  
  
Bosco blinks his eyes open and Sully notices they are blood shot and dilated. The bruising underneath his eyes is turning a deep purple.  
  
"I thought I told you to leave." Bosco croaks out dryly.  
  
"I did, but I came back."  
  
"Well, you can go now," Bosco whispers as his voice cracks.  
  
"I'm just gonna help you get cleaned up, okay Bosco?"  
  
"I don't need your help." Bosco closes his eyes to avoid Sully's gaze.  
  
"Okay, then I'll call the house and tell them your sick because you shouldn't be working today."  
  
Bosco's eyes shoot open. "No, don't tell them I'm sick. They'll notice...," his voice trails off and he looks away from Sully. "Tell them I fell down the stairs," he says softly.  
  
Sully eyes him suspiciously. "You've got this all figured out, huh? They'll put you on desk duty until your cleared by a doctor."  
  
"Just tell them you took me to the hospital and everything checked out okay, just some bumps and bruises." Bosco looks at Sully intensely as if to say 'you owe me this much.'  
  
Sully stares at him for a minute and feels the same sense of unease as the night before. "Seems like you've fallen down the stairs before," he blurts out unintentionally. He realizes his mistake and regrets his words as soon as he sees the shame etched across Bosco's features.  
  
Bosco turns away. "Just leave," he says tiredly.  
  
Sully silently chastises himself for a moment then turns to the washroom. "I'll run the shower for you," he says over his shoulder.  
  
Bosco sighs deeply and tilts his head back. He doesn't have the strength to argue. He can hear the water being turned on and he can almost feel the soothing effect it will have on him. He looks down and realizes he's wearing his turtleneck over his vest; that's gonna be a bitch to get off. He tries to get his arm out from the sleeve.  
  
"There, it's all ready for you." Sully returns and spots Bosco as he is barely able to raise his arm.  
  
Bosco allows his arm to drop back to his side and decides it might be best to do this in the washroom away from Sully's watchful eye.  
  
"Let me help you get that off." Sully moves in quickly not allowing Bosco time to refuse or get up from the couch.  
  
Bosco breathes a sigh of relief at Sully's offer but pretends not to care. Each movement causes pain to shoot through his shoulders and his side and he does all possible to stifle any groans.  
  
Finally, Sully extricates the turtleneck and vest from him and offers a hand to pull him up. Bosco ignores it and pushes himself up slowly. He somehow wills his stiff body to move into the washroom and closes the door behind him.  
  
Bosco goes to work peeling off the rest of his muddy and sweat stained clothes, it is more of a chore than he imagined. The only thing keeping him going is the sweet sound of the shower. As the last item of clothing drops to the floor, he gazes at his reflection in the mirror. Dried blood and dirt cover most of his face, he looks likes shit. Slowly, he runs his hand across the bruises forming on his face and side. He tries to twist around to view the back of his knee but he can't manage that move.  
  
He needs to use the head but the memory of last night causes him to hesitate. He turns on the tap and drinks greedily. He didn't realize how thirsty he was before and he needs to drink as much water as possible to help pass the blood.  
  
He moves over to the toilet and relieves himself. He bites down on his lip to suppress any sounds Sully might be listening for. He feels hot and flushed at the effort and flushes quickly to dispense of the evidence.  
  
He limps over to the shower and gingerly steps into the tub. The water feels like an oasis to his battered body. The temporary pain he feels from the water pelting him is replaced by the comfort of its warmth.  
  
Bosco stands there and lets it flow over him for a few minutes. He reaches down for the soap and slowly washes away all the dirt, sweat and blood. He watches the water swirling at his feet and wishes it was just as easy to get rid of the bad memories and the hurt.  
  
He feels his eyes water and immediately moves forward to let the water flow over his head. The shower provides him sanctuary from feeling the hot tears spilling out and he takes this opportunity to let his emotions get the better of him.

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Sully looks up at the clock again. It's been nearly 25 minutes, what the hell is he doing in there. He walks over to he washroom door and hesitates before knocking.  
  
"Bosco, you okay in there?" Sully hears the shower running but can't make out any other sounds.  
  
"Bosco, I'm coming in." He waits and slowly turns the handle. He notices the rest of Bosco's clothes in a pile on the floor and a bath towel hanging off a hook beside the tub.  
  
"Bosco?"  
  
There is a slight sniffle behind the shower curtain. "Can't you leave me the f-ck alone," he lashes out. "You didn't want me around, now you can't leave me alone. Get the f-ck out of my apartment. You're not welcome here."  
  
Sully pauses before speaking because there's nothing he can say right now to make things better. "I just want to make sure you're okay."  
  
"Well, you should have thought about that last night. But, thanks for the concern. Now leave."  
  
Sully stares at the shower curtain helplessly then turns and exits. A minute later Bosco hears the front door shutting and he breathes a sigh of relief.  
  
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Sully rode by himself that first day. He tried to call Bosco but all he got was his answering machine. He left a couple of messages but never got any callbacks.  
  
On the second day, Sully decided to drive by Bosco's apartment to check on him and offer him a lift to work if he was up to coming in. It was a few hours before they were due to be at roll call.  
  
Sully walks up the two flights of stairs and knocks lightly on the door. He hears movement before the door is opened slightly and a woman peers out at him. "Yes, can I help you?"  
  
Sully is slightly surprised. "Uh...yeah, I was looking for Maurice Boscorelli."  
  
"Are you a friend?"  
  
"I'm his partner...um, his partner at work. "  
  
The woman glances back and then quietly closes the door. Sully hears the chain being removed and waits for the door to open. The woman steps into the corridor and closes the door gently behind her.  
  
She looks at Sully intensely. "What happened to Maurice?"  
  
Sully swallows and looks away. "He had a bit of an accident. He fell down some stairs."  
  
The woman eyes him and crosses her arms. "Sure he did."  
  
"I'm sorry, I'm John Sullivan." He sticks out his hand relieved that this woman has no idea how he is involved in Bosco's 'accident'.  
  
She takes his hand. "Rose Boscorelli. I'm Maurice's mother."  
  
Sully speaks before Rose has a chance to read the guilt on his face. "How's he doing?"  
  
"He's been better." She pauses briefly. "Did he tell you he fell down some stairs?"  
  
"Yeah, he did."  
  
"Well, I don't buy that and I don't think you do either John."  
  
"Mrs. Boscorelli, I really don't know much more than what Bosco's told me." Sully was glad this really was the truth and he hoped she would believe him.  
  
Rose continues to stare at him but then her eyes soften slightly. "Maybe, he'll talk to you about it," she says hopefully. "He never tells me anything, anymore. Says he doesn't want to worry me."  
  
Sully nods and looks down at his feet. "Well, I just wanted to check on him and see if he was up to coming to work today."  
  
"Well, that's his plan unless I can convince him otherwise. I'll stay with him for a while, and if he insists on going in today, I'll drive him."  
  
Sully nods and turns to leave.  
  
"John," Rose gazes at him imploringly, "please watch over him."  
  
Sully tries to swallow down the guilt and shame before replying. "Of course, I will."  
  
"Thank you." She turns, enters the apartment and shuts the door behind her.  
  
TBC...


	5. Crazy 5

Summary: My take on why Bosco and Sully don't get along. Takes place shortly after Bosco graduates from the Police Academy

Disclaimer: I don't own Third Watch or any of its characters.

A/N: This story was previously posted on another Third Watch site but I was encouraged to post it here by Joey and Orison.

Thanks for your wonderful reviews.

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Sully glances up at the clock. It's 10 minutes to roll call and still no sign of Bosco. Maybe the kid decided to take another day off. He folds his clothes neatly and places them on the shelf in his locker when he hears the female rookie, Faith, speak up.  
  
What the hell happened to you?" she approaches Bosco and gives him the once over with her eyes. Bosco moves stiffly towards his locker. Sully notices he's already dressed for work.  
  
"I fell down some stairs in my apartment building. Damn bastards, didn't fix a broken step. I should think about suing them." He shakes his head slowly for effect.  
  
"Are you okay to work?" Faith asks worriedly checking the bruises under his eyes.   
  
"Yeah, doctor said I was fine." Bosco opens his locker.  
  
"Well, I can't believe this," she blurts our seriously.  
  
Bosco turns to her with a worried look on his face.  
  
Sully sees the look on Bosco's face and he hollers out, "what's not to believe? He's the clumsiest cop I've ever worked with. I'm surprised he hasn't fallen out of the RMP yet."  
  
Bosco turns to look at Sully. He's not sure whether he should be angry at his comments or thankful for his attempt to bail him out. But Faith doesn't think Sully's comments are unusual and Bosco is grateful for that.  
  
"No, I meant, I can't believe Bosco's dressed and ready for roll call and," she glances at their watch, "he's got 8 minutes to spare." She smiles playfully at Bosco.  
  
Bosco feels a sense of relief wash over him. "Yeah, well don't get use to it. The only reason I'm in early is 'cause I got a ride today." Bosco drops off a few items in his locker before closing it. He looks around the room discreetly and lets out a breath when he doesn't see Michaels or Giambetti around.  
  
He notices Sully watching him but avoids his gaze before turning and walking out of the room.  
  
Bosco makes his way to the roll call room early to give himself time to ease into a chair without the peanut galley watching and especially Lieutenant Swersky. The rest of the officers file in within the next few minutes and most of them have a comment for Bosco.  
  
"Hey, look what the cat dragged in...Boscorelli, what did she look like... I hope you got the license of that truck..."  
  
Sully enters and sits close to Bosco.  
  
Bosco ignores the taunts and waits for the briefing to begin. The door swings open and Michaels and Giambetti walk in. They both search out Bosco with their eyes and snicker at him. Bosco looks down and stares at the back of his hands. Sully gives both of them a murderous glare and they quietly make their way to the back of the room.  
  
Lieutenant Swersky enters and places his notes on the desk at the front of the room. He looks around at his men and his eyes stop on Boscorelli. He pauses then begins his briefing to the team. A few minutes later he dismisses the group but not before barking out. "Boscorelli, I need to speak to you."  
  
Bosco stays behind but doesn't get up from the chair in fact he slouches a little further down fearing that he'll have to spend the day on the desk. Sully decides to hang back as well.  
  
Swersky is still jotting down some notes. "Do you have something to tell me?" He asks without raising his eyes from the paperwork in front of him.  
  
Bosco swallows hard. "No."   
  
"Are you sure?" He lifts his eyes and stares at Bosco.  
  
Bosco just nods his head.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
"I fell," he replies as confidently as he can.  
  
"Are you sure?" Swersky leans his elbow on the desk and intertwines his fingers together. He reminds Bosco of a school principal.  
  
"Pretty sure. I think I should know since I was there," replies Bosco with a hint of irritation.  
  
"Were you there too, Sullivan?"  
  
Sully looks a little surprised but manages to get himself together quickly. "Yeah, it was just a stupid accident," he replies.  
  
"Are you good to go?" Swersky turns his eyes back to Bosco.  
  
"No problem, Lieutenant." Bosco sits up a little straighter in his chair.  
  
"I need the clearance form from the doctor."  
  
"Lieu, there was so much confusion over at the clinic that night that they forgot to give us one," Sully replies quickly.  
  
Swersky eyes the both of them suspiciously but neither of them flinches. "Alright," he says before leaving.  
  
"I'll get the radios." Sully volunteers and exits the room.  
  
Bosco makes his way to the RMP as Sully catches up.  
  
"Feel up to driving?" Sully asks as he tosses the keys over to Bosco.   
  
Bosco isn't prepared for the keys coming at him and he doesn't react as they sail by. They land a few feet away and he eyes them for a second before slowly leaning over to pick them up. He turns them over in his hand before tossing them back to Sully. "No," he replies tersely.   
  
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Sully sits alone at the counter of his favourite diner with his supper before him. He is deep in thought as Grady approaches and taps him on the shoulder.  
  
"Hey, Sul. I saw your partner sitting by his lonesome in the RMP."   
  
Sully looks at his plate pensively. "Yeah, he doesn't want to sit with me."  
  
"He looks like he ran into a brick wall," Grady says. He sits and motions to the waitress that he'd like some coffee. "That have anything to do with Michaels and Giambetti?" he asks awkwardly.   
  
"He says he fell down some stairs."   
  
"And you believe him?" Grady says with a note of surprise in his voice.  
  
"Yeah, maybe I believe he was pushed down those stairs." Sully looks at Grady angrily. "He won't tell me what happened. He won't even speak to me," he mutters softly as he pushes the plate away.   
  
"Sul, I'm sorry. I knew those bozos were always involved in breaking in the rookies but it's never gone that far."  
  
Sully doesn't acknowledge Grady's comments just sits and stares straight ahead with a far away look in his eyes.  
  
"What is it?" Grady asks worriedly.  
  
"Maybe, I need to start thinking about someone other than myself. Maybe in need to start thinking about getting a partner and stop riding solo. It's been three years now...since Davis." Sully concentrates on wiping his hands clean.  
  
Grady nods knowingly and looks down at his coffee. It's the first time since Davis' death that Sully has spoken about him, or about getting another partner.   
  
"I've been so afraid, you know, ..." Sully says softly as he tosses his napkin into the plate. He stops and gets up slowly. "I think it's time for me to move on and start acting like a partner again," he says quietly as he leaves some money on the counter.  
  
Grady smiles to himself as Sully leaves.   
  
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Sully gets into the RMP and is greeted by a wall of silence. Bosco is blowing on the passenger window and drawing figures on the misty haze created by his breath.  
  
"Here, I got you some water." Sully holds out a bottle of water. "I noticed you were pretty thirsty today so I figured that this was better than coffee."  
  
Bosco runs his sleeve over the window erasing his latest drawing.  
  
Sully waits but doesn't get any acknowledgement from Bosco. He places the bottle between the seats. "Can we talk?"  
  
Bosco blows more air on the window. "No," he responds coldly.  
  
Sully thinks for a moment. "Okay, then I'll talk."  
  
Bosco doesn't look at Sully but makes a face to show his disapproval and annoyance.  
  
"I know I've been a jerk and I wanted you to know that it has nothing to do with you," Sully says hesitatingly.  
  
"I don't want to talk about this," Bosco cries out angrily.  
  
"I'm trying to apologize and explain," Sully says uncomfortably.  
  
Bosco lets out a breath as he shakes his head in disbelief and turns to stare out the passenger window. "Save it, Sully, I've heard it all before."  
  
"Why won't you let me apologize?" Sully barks out in frustration.  
  
Bosco turns back to Sully. "You think you're any different than all the others, huh?"  
  
The hurt and anger in Bosco's eyes is clear to Sully and he decides to keep his mouth shut and let Bosco talk.  
  
"Let me guess. You're real sorry about what happened and you never meant for it to go that far. But you know what? You couldn't stand riding with me and you sure as hell couldn't wait to get rid of me." Bosco's voice rises an octave as he works himself up. "And the best part is that now, you're gonna explain it all away by saying it wasn't about me. And after you explain it, you're gonna drop the big one on me about how we can't be partners anymore, but you'll tell me it's okay because it has nothing to do with me." Bosco lowers his eyes and turns away from Sully. "It never does..." he says so softly that Sully isn't sure if he heard it or imagined it.   
  
"Well, you know what? That's not what I was about to say, I'm not looking to change partners," Sully says seriously.  
  
"Yeah, whatever," Bosco says under his breath.  
  
"Hey, we both acted like a couple of jerks and I..."  
  
"Is that supposed to make you feel better?" Bosco asks bitterly. "Is that how you rationalize it in your mind? Bosco's a jerk, so it's okay to dump him?"  
  
"That's not what I meant." Sully says in frustration. "And why do you do that huh?"  
  
"Do what?" Bosco yells out defensively.  
  
"Why do act like a jerk and push people away?" Sully looks at him angrily.  
  
Bosco purses his lips and folds his arms over his chest. "Oh, you think you're so damn smart? You think you know me?" Bosco glares at Sully. "Well, you don't know me. You don't know anything about me. You think I try to push people away? Well, from where I sit, must be the same damn reason you do," he yells at him.  
  
Sully stares at him for a second before glancing up at the rear view mirror. He sees the same vulnerability in his own reflection that he sees in Bosco right now. He realizes they are two kindred spirits burned by what life has thrown at them, neither of them capable of getting out of their ruts by themselves. He turns the key in the ignition and looks over at Bosco who refuses to look back at him. "Because everyone leaves," he says softly and watches as Bosco closes his eyes and turns away.  
  
Bosco swallows down the lump in his throat. "Because everyone leaves," he repeats and turns to glare at Sully, "and I'd rather it was sooner than later. There, satisfied?" He asks furiously.  
  
Sully looks down. Yes, two kindred spirits he thinks to himself as he drives off.  
  
TBC...


	6. Crazy 6

Summary: My take on why Bosco and Sully don't get along. Takes place shortly after Bosco graduates from the Police Academy

Disclaimer: I don't own Third Watch or any of its characters.

A/N: This story was previously posted on another Third Watch site but I was encouraged to post it here by Joey and Orison.

Thanks for your wonderful reviews.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They respond to call after call, until the night is a haze of fender benders, false alarms and petty crimes. Bosco doesn't want to have to think about tonight's conversation, about the fact that Sully tried to apologize and maybe, just maybe he meant it.  
  
He watches Sully write in his notebook as the latest victim gives their account of another senseless, idiotic crime.  
  
Bosco just stands back, leaning his frame on the RMP for support. His leg is killing him and his shoulders and neck are sorer now than yesterday. A dull, pounding headache has made its way into his skull since early in the shift.  
  
He rubs the back of his neck and watches the parade of freaks on a typical New York City evening. He feels incredibly tired all of a sudden. The rage and anger he felt mere hours ago is pushed aside by the physical fatigue.  
  
He watches Sully and his thoughts turn back to a partner. He knows no one else at the 55th would want him as a partner except maybe for Faith. But that's because she has no idea what she's getting herself into.  
  
Sully, he's all talk. It's just his guilt keeping him here. That's the only reason he hasn't dumped him yet. Which means, at most, they still have three more months together until the end of probation.   
  
"Bosco, let's go," Sully says as he peers at him from the driver's seat.  
  
Bosco looks around confused. The victim's gone and Sully's back in the car. He must have zoned out for a few minutes.  
  
He gets back into the vehicle and prays there are no more calls tonight. He doesn't think he can make it into and out of the RMP one more time.  
  
Sully stops for coffee and returns to the RMP with another bottle of water for Bosco.  
  
He holds it out to Bosco without saying a word. The little bit of conversation they've had tonight has not gone well, so he decides to speak as little as possible.  
  
Bosco stares at it with glassy eyes and reaches out for it. "Thanks," he murmurs.  
  
"You're welcome," responds Sully softly. He glances at his watch and notices they still have almost an hour to go. He grabs his clipboard and starts on the paperwork. He feels rusty as he stares at the form in front of him. He hasn't done any paperwork in months.  
  
He's so engrossed in what he's doing that he's startled when he hears a loud swishing clunk. Sully's eyes shoot up instantly and he turns to find the source of the noise. He spots the bottle of water rolling on the floor and is about to make some snide comment about Bosco's clumsiness when he notices Bosco's hand is open, his head is turned to side, and his eyes are closed.  
  
He stares at him for a minute; he hadn't realized that the rhythm of the evening's calls had taken such a toll on the kid. He decides they're not taking any more calls so he radios in to central to put them out of service.  
  
About 30 minutes later, he finishes the paperwork and places the clipboard back in its place. He starts the car again and drives towards the house.  
  
Bosco stirs as the car starts to move. He opens his eyes slowly and stares out the window. He looks down at his feet when he hears the bottle of water rolling about. He grabs the dash with his left hand to steady himself as he reaches over to pick up the bottle. He pushes himself back into the seat and holds the bottle loosely in his lap.  
  
"You okay?" Sully asks without looking at him.  
  
"Yeah."   
  
"You want me to drive you straight home?"  
  
"Nah." Bosco shakes his head slightly as he lets his eyes droop shut.  
  
They ride in silence the rest of the way. A few minutes later they pull up to the station and both make their way into the house. Sully stops to drop off the paperwork as Bosco shuffles into the locker room. He notices the room is empty so he opens his locker and starts to strip off his uniform.  
  
Bosco is pulling off his vest as Sully walks in. His t-shirt lifts and exposes his abdomen and side. Sully notices deep, discoloured bruising going down below the belt and slows to take a closer look. He finds more bruises and chafing around Bosco's wrists and elbows. He feels his guilt and rage swim up from the pit of his stomach.  
  
"What the hell did they do to you?" Sully asks angrily as he moves and pulls up the corner of Bosco's t-shirt.  
  
Bosco grabs it and pulls it down quickly. "Nothing."  
  
"And is this nothing too?" Sully grabs Bosco's wrist and turns it over.  
  
Bosco yanks it out of Sully's grasp. "It's nothing to you."  
  
Sully stares down at Bosco. Every time they talk it comes out all wrong. He needs to think before speaking. He needs to get through to this kid by reasoning with him. "Bosco, you can't let them get away with this."  
  
Bosco's eyes cloud over instantly. "Oh really, you think I just sat there and let them do this?" He says incredulously. "Go ahead boys, why don't you kick me around some and when you're through with that, feel free to tie me up and gag me and throw me into your trunk, 'cause I've never ridden in the trunk of an RMP before." Bosco moves in towards Sully and stares at him accusingly. "Funny, I don't remember ME letting THEM get away with this so don't even try to dump this one on me. It's not my fault. You hear me, it's not my fault."   
  
Sully turns away reluctantly. He keeps his mouth shut because every conversation tonight has resulted in one or both of them being pissed off and this one is no different.   
  
Bosco turns back to his locker and quickly pulls on a shirt because he needs to be done before the other officers come in. He leans down and removes his pants and pulls his jeans up. He peers over at Sully who thankfully isn't able to catch a glimpse of the bruising on the back of his leg.  
  
He slows down now that he's covered up. His fingers fumble with the buttons on his shirt as the fatigue seeps into his body again. He purposely leaves his shirt hanging out and he jams his feet back into his shoes before doing them up. He doesn't even look back before he grabs his bag and makes for the exit. He needs to clear his head and he can't do it with Sully around.   
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rose is resting on the couch, sipping her drink and watching TV. She giggles her approval at a comedy routine playing out before her. She hears a light knock on her door and sits up as she lowers the volume.   
  
"Ma, it's me."  
  
Rose gets up quickly and moves to the door. She takes a look through the peephole before unlocking it.  
  
"Maurice, baby. Are you okay?" She ushers him into the living room and guides him to the couch.  
  
Bosco slumps down into the soft pillows and peers over at the late night program. He pretends to be interested in what's playing.  
  
Rose runs her hand gently over his cheek and turns his face back to her. She stares intently into his eyes looking for something only a mother can see. "Maurice, it's almost 2 o'clock. What is it? What's wrong?" She runs her fingers over his bruises and his swollen lip.   
  
He shrugs away from her hand and looks back at the television. "Nothing's wrong, Ma. Why does something have to be wrong for me to visit you?"  
  
"Where have you been?" She feels him shiver slightly and notices he isn't wearing any gloves or a hat.  
  
"Just walking." He still doesn't turn to look at her.  
  
Rose tentatively rests her hand on his forearm. Through her touch she feels the tension and the tightness in his muscles. She watches his demeanour and sees the anger in his posture, and the hurt in his eyes. "Did you have another nightmare?" she asks worriedly.  
  
She watches him as he lets out a slow breath. Since he's returned from his tour, the nightmares have been getting worse and worse. Sometimes it's so bad he gets dressed and comes by in the middle of the night.  
  
She takes his hand and kisses it gently and wishes he was still a little boy and this was enough to make it all better.  
  
Bosco sighs deeply and continues to stare at the TV. "Why?" he asks softly.  
  
"Oh baby. Don't do this, please." She begs of him while pulling him closer. He resists, he always does, so she shifts until she is right beside him.  
  
"Why?" he repeats and lowers his head.  
  
"Shhh...baby?" she coos softly as she kisses him on the forehead. "I love you. I love you so much."  
  
He shakes his head but doesn't have the courage to look at her.  
  
Rose feels dread tugging at her heart. This isn't like the other times. "Baby, you can tell me."  
  
Rose sees the cracks in his armour; the way he bites his lip, the nervous bounce in his leg, the way his eyes can't seem to focus on any one object. She feels her chest tighten as she realizes the depth of his pain. "Maurice..."  
  
"Why can't he love us?" He whispers longingly. "Why can't he love me?"  
  
Rose feels her heart break into a thousand pieces. Bosco never questioned why his father couldn't love him. It was something that was just a fact of life, never to be questioned until tonight. And the worse part is that she can't make it better. She can't kiss it and make it go away.  
  
Bosco lets out a shaky breath before he gets up. Rose watches helplessly as he leaves without looking back.  
  
TBC... 


	7. Crazy 7

Summary: My take on why Bosco and Sully don't get along. Takes place shortly after Bosco graduates from the Police Academy

Disclaimer: I don't own Third Watch or any of its characters.

A/N: This story was previously posted on another Third Watch site but I was encouraged to post it here by Joey and Orison. I've taken the liberty of editing this story, as when it was originally posted I was writing on the fly. Some of the chapters will be merged or changed slightly hopefully to enhance the story.

Thanks for your wonderful reviews.

* * *

The lunch crowd starts to dissipate as Grady and Sully greet each other and grab a booth at the diner.  
  
"So, what was so urgent that you couldn't wait until roll call to speak to me?" asks Grady  
  
Sully grabs a menu and studies it before speaking. "I need your advice Grady." Sully shuts the menu and looks around the room. "I need your advice 'cause I feel like I can't do anything right anymore."  
  
"Where is this coming from, Sul," Grady says with a bit of surprise in his voice.  
  
Sully traces the edge of the menu nervously before looking up again. "I tried to apologize to Bosco, about what happened, but he's so angry at me that all we do is yell at each other every time we talk." Sully averts his eyes from Grady's gaze. He returns to tracing the menu patterns with his fingers.  
  
Grady just nods and lets him continue at his own pace.  
  
"I didn't think it would be this hard." Sully says softly.  
  
"What's hard?" Grady asks not understanding what Sully is referring to.  
  
"You know...partnering with someone. I've been alone so long, not having to put up with anyone and no one else having to put up with me. Hell, just trying to get through to him is near impossible. I just can't seem to say the right thing. I'd even settle for saying something that doesn't start a war." Sully says sadly.  
  
"Did you ever think that maybe you're not the problem." Grady looks at Sully sympathetically.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Maybe Bosco has his own problems."  
  
"Yeah, and I think I'm one of them." Sully looks down at the menu. "Last night, after the shift I saw bruises...on Bosco. When I asked him about it, he blurted out what they did to him." Sully shifts uncomfortably in his seat. "I'd say that that's a pretty big part of the problem and it's my fault."  
  
"Sul, you both need to move past this, you never meant for that to happen."  
  
"Doesn't matter whether I meant for it to happen or not 'cause it did. And honestly, I don't blame him for the way he's reacting." Sully resumes tracing the patterns on the menu. "You know, they beat him and then they tied and gagged him and threw him into the trunk. I don't know how to make it right, I don't know what to do about it."  
  
"What does Bosco want to do about it?"  
  
"I don't think he wants to do anything. He just wants to cover the whole thing up."  
  
"Sometimes all you can do is back your partner and understand where he's coming from. Get to know him, find out who he is, maybe you'll understand why he needs it to be this way."  
  
Sully sighs. "How do I do that when we can't even talk?"  
  
Grady reaches over and pulls the menu away from Sully to get his undivided attention. "You have to really listen, not just with your ears but with your eyes and with this too." Grady taps his chest with his fingers. "That's how you listen to your partner."  
  
Sully looks up at Grady. "I'm trying, I'm really trying...I just don't know if I can do this."  
  
"Sul, it's not the what you say that counts. It's what you do."  
  
Sully stares out blankly, recalling painful memories of actions that cost his previous partner his life. "You're right, Grady. All the words in the world can't change what happened." Sully sits back and absentmindedly traces the pattern on the tablecloth.

* * *

Sully knocks lightly and steps into Swersky's office. "Lieu, I need to speak to you about Boscorelli."  
  
Lieu motions for Sully to enter and sit as he completes some paperwork in front of him.  
  
"What about Boscorelli?" Lieu looks up and removes his glasses and rubs the bridge of his nose.  
  
Sully looks around the room nervously before clearing his throat. "I...um...I know Boscorelli's probation will be over in about three months, and I'm thinking that maybe I'd be interested in partnering up with him after that." Sully shifts uncomfortably.  
  
"You want to partner up with Boscorelli?" Lieu raises his eyebrows in surprise. "I was under the impression that maybe you weren't the best of friends."  
  
"Yeah, we've had some misunderstandings, but I think this partner thing could be good for both of us." Sully fidgets.  
  
"Does Boscorelli want this too?"  
  
"Um...well, I haven't really spoken to him about it." Sully looks around the room apprehensively.  
  
"Sul, are you sure this is what you want?" Lieu waits patiently for a response.  
  
"Yeah, yeah that's what I want," Sully says distantly and frowns as if deep in thought.  
  
"Okay, come back and see me when his probation is almost over and we'll confirm it." Lieu responds matter of factly. "Oh, do you know anything about Michaels and Giambetti being involved in some hazing ritual recently?" Lieu narrows his eyes as he stares at Sully.  
  
"No, haven't heard a thing, Lieu." Sully turns quickly and exits before he inadvertently gives too much away.

* * *

Sully waits in the locker room for Bosco. He fiddles with his badge to pass the time. As he looks down at his shoes, he notices some lint on his pants and starts to pick at it. Suddenly, the million and one details that normally go undetected seem to be magnified ten fold; the small scuff mark on the toe of his left shoe, the loose thread on the end of his sleeve, the small stain on the front of his shirt.  
  
The door swings open and Bosco arrives with barely five minutes to roll call.  
  
Sully looks up and sees him in a state of dishevelment. When he takes a closer look he remarks that he's wearing the same clothes as last night.  
  
Bosco moves as if on automatic pilot; he's doesn't acknowledge or notice anyone else in the room. He twirls his lock a couple of times before he gets it open.  
  
He starts to change out of his clothes. He pulls off his shirt before reaching for his vest inside the locker. Bosco tosses it on but winces as he tries to reach back and position it correctly before trying to fasten down the straps. That task seems agonizingly slow.  
  
Sully gets up and walks towards him, he stops and leans on the locker a few feet away from Bosco.  
  
"Don't even say it," growls out Bosco.  
  
"I wasn't gonna say anything." Sully continues to lean back and watch. Bosco seems a little too pale today and his eyes are not only bruised but red rimmed as well. Maybe, he didn't sleep well or at all.  
  
Bosco turns back and stares at Sully angrily. "What?" he yells out.  
  
"I'm just waiting for you," Sully says evenly. "If you're gonna be late, we may as well both be late."  
  
Bosco looks at him suspiciously.  
  
Sully senses the mistrust and decides to give Bosco some space. "I'll just wait for you by the door."  
  
Bosco hesitates before going back to changing into his uniform. He looks up at the clock one last time before slamming his locker shut and walking out.  
  
Sully follows closely behind as they make their way to roll call. Bosco opts to sit at the back and Sully positions himself right in front of Bosco to shield him from Swersky, hoping he won't notice the state he's in.

Roll call ends in record time and they both make their way to the RMP. Sully watches as Bosco walks purposefully towards the vehicle, even his walk looks angry. Sully slows down allowing Bosco to make the first move; maybe today he'll want to drive, but he automatically moves to the passenger side.  
  
They take their familiar positions within the unit. Sully turns the key in the ignition as Bosco fidgets in his seat; he can't seem to get comfortable. It's gonna be a long night he thinks to himself.  
  
They sit in silence; Sully deep in thought, rehearsing how to broach the partner topic with Bosco; Bosco resting his head on the headrest, staring off into the distance.  
  
Sully clears his throat a couple of times to get Bosco's attention but Bosco continues to stare out the passenger window.  
  
"Bosco?" Sully turns.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I spoke to Lieu today - about us." Sully starts tentatively.  
  
"Here we go," Bosco mutters.  
  
"I asked Lieu if we could pair up after your probation is over." Sully peers at Bosco to see if there is any reaction to this news. "I've been without a partner for three years now, and ...I just thought this might be good for both of us."  
  
"And what makes you think that?" Bosco asks without turning to look at Sully.  
  
Sully lowers his eyes. "Well, I know we could make a great team together. You being so fast and me being, well," Sully thinks and sees Bosco looking at him, "me being such a good driver." Sully smiles sheepishly.  
  
Bosco snorts lightly before resuming his stare out his window.  
  
"Anyway, if you want to, I'd be more than willing to partner up with you." Sully feels relief at getting this out but doesn't feel he's made any headway when all he gets is silence.

Sully lets out a long breath and tries a different approach. "I need someone who's willing to take a chance on me, you know. Someone who isn't afraid of what happened to my last partner."  
  
Bosco turns back, understanding in his eyes. "I ain't afraid," he says defiantly.  
  
Sully nods. "I know that's why we'd make such a good team together. You're fearless and I'm too cautious. I need someone to balance me out."  
  
Bosco looks at Sully for a few moments before talking. "I'll think about it."  
  
Sully nods thankfully before the car goes silent again.

* * *

The baby's screams are deafening. Each new cry is louder than the one before until it becomes the only thing Bosco hears.  
  
Sully stands off to one side trying to reason with the woman. It's Bosco's job to keep the man away from her, so he stands steadfast before this man. This man who beats his wife, this man who frightens his child. This man who cares more about trying to get at his wife now than trying to comfort his screaming baby.  
  
He has to try and block the baby out. But the screams...the screams are overwhelming him.  
  
He rubs his temple nervously. Each scream is piercing through his brain like a dull knife. Each scream calling out to a dread deep in the pit of his stomach.  
  
He feels his heart rate speeding up to the rhythm of the pounding in his ears. His mouth suddenly feels like it's filled with cotton. He tries to swallow but he can't even manage that. A terrible heat overtakes him and smothers the air out of his lungs.  
  
He lifts one arm and lightly rests it against his abdomen to soothe the feeling of nausea rising in his belly. The non-stop screams pound into him until they threaten to topple him over. He opens his mouth to yell for everyone to stop but he can't tell if any sound came out.  
  
He wonders if anyone heard him because the baby's screaming is the only sound he can make out, the only sound still invading his brain.  
  
He turns to face the woman who stands stock still, staring at him, her hand frozen in an incomplete gesture, her mouth agape, her argument against all of this insanity unfinished.  
  
He tries to speak, but just like in his nightmares nothing comes out.  
  
He wants to turn and walk away. He wants to get away from this place but his body betrays him when it refuses to move. He looks down at his feet in confusion, not understanding why his body can't comply with this simple command.  
  
He looks back up again when he feels a hand on his arm. Sully is standing before him mouthing something that he can't quite make out because the baby's screams are impenetrable.  
  
The room starts to sway, the walls undulating as they start to close in on him. He feels the heat rising causing his heart to thud against his chest while his stomach turns slowly as if performing somersaults.  
  
Mercifully, his vision blurs until all he sees is a white haze. He shuts his eyes tightly and feels relief as the baby's screams are replaced by a rushing sound in his ears. The relief is short lived as he loses his grip on reality and feels his world sink down into emptiness.  
  
TBC... 


	8. Crazy 8

Summary: My take on why Bosco and Sully don't get along. Takes place shortly after Bosco graduates from the Police Academy

Disclaimer: I don't own Third Watch or any of its characters.

A/N: This story was previously posted on another Third Watch site but I was encouraged to post it here by Joey and Orison.

I've taken the liberty of editing this story, as it was written on the fly when it was originally posted. Some of the chapters will be merged or changed slightly in the hope of enhancing the story.

Thanks for your wonderful reviews.

* * *

I'm floating. Drifting slowly out of nothingness. Awakening from this darkness that envelopes me.  
  
The first thing I am aware of is the low, distant voices that surround me. Their words are lost to me before they reach my ears but I can still make out the concern behind them. I think I should be afraid but I don't know why.  
  
I can't see a thing and I can't tell if it's because there's something wrong with my eyes or because they're not open. I don't like this place. I want to go back to where I was if only I could remember...  
  
Fear and confusion cause my heart to beat faster. I feel it pounding painfully. I try to come out of this other world and back into reality but I'm no longer connected to my body. My muscles feel like Jell-O and I'm unable to make them move.  
  
I strain to listen to the voices; they are my only connection to the other world.  
They are getting louder, angrier. I strain to open my eyes, but all I see is fog.  
  
A piercing scream jolts me back to reality. Oh God, what's happening? I hear them arguing, yelling, and threatening each other. I have to stop it. I won't let it happen again.  
  
I feel the area around me vibrating in rhythm with the thumping noise. For the first time, I realize I'm lying on the floor. I feel footsteps all around and I can make out male voices arguing. I realize that I'm not at home. But who are these people? Where am I? Who the hell is crying incessantly?  
  
I'm completely disoriented.  
  
I finally make some headway at the task of opening my eyes. Colours and shapes spin in and out of my narrow line of vision forcing me to swallow down the bile in my mouth. I squeeze my eyes shut to try and stop the sensation of riding ocean waves.  
  
I hear my name being called. I want to tell them it's too hot, and I need them to stop screaming. I want them to understand that I don't feel right. But I can't speak, and I can't motion to them and all I want is for someone to help me.

* * *

"Stay," Sully yells as he clicks the handcuffs on the husband then pushes him down into a sitting position on the floor. "55-Charlie, Officer down, need a bus and back-up at our location," Sully huffs worriedly into his mike.  
  
The husband continues to berate his wife as Sully makes the call. He turns to eye the husband and to make sure he doesn't try to take advantage of the situation again. "Shut-up," he yells out at him. When he's satisfied that he won't move form his position he turns towards the woman.  
  
"Take care of that baby for God's sake," he barks out at her as she stares dumbly at Bosco. She obeys Sully's command and takes the baby out of his crib to try to quiet him. Sully takes a sideways glance at the husband before kneeling next to Bosco.  
  
"Bosco?" Sully doesn't get a reaction so instinctively checks for a pulse although there is no need because he can see Bosco breathing rapidly.  
  
Bosco's pulse is rapid and his face is ghostly in pallor.  
  
"Shit," he mumbles. Sully looks back at the husband who has started to chatter threateningly with his wife. "Shut-up. Everybody just shut the hell up," he bellows in frustration.  
  
For a brief moment, the room falls silent, even the baby stops crying.  
  
Finally, Sully feels like he can think again instead of just reacting to everything that's happening. He starts to loosen Bosco's collar, and he unfastens the gun belt. Bosco is still on his side; the same position Sully put him in when he broke his fall.  
  
Sully puts his hand on Bosco's shoulder. "Bosco, can you hear me?" he waits for a sign, some movement that will confirm whether Bosco can at least hear him. A few moments, later, Bosco's breathing starts slow down and even out.  
  
"Take it easy Bosco. Help is on the way. Just hold on." Sully murmurs gently.  
  
Sully grabs his mike. "Central, this is 55 Charlie. Advise ETA for the bus."  
  
"55 Charlie, ETA for the bus is 2 minutes."  
  
Sully clips his mike again. "Hear that Bosco, they'll be hear any minute."

* * *

Sully. Yes, it's definitely Sully.  
  
Somehow, he manages to make everything quiet again. Thank God for small mercies. I only wish I could tell him how much I appreciate him stopping that terrible noise.  
  
He keeps calling me, talking to me, and although he sounds like he's underwater, I can still hear the worry in his voice.  
  
I want to open my eyes, or at least attempt to, just to appease his worry. But I feel like the floor beneath me is rolling, moving. I wish I would just hit the ground to make it stop. I feel myself twirling in two different directions at once causing my stomach to turn itself inside out. God, I hate this feeling. I clamp my mouth shut in an effort to prevent the contents of my stomach from making a grand exit.  
  
I wonder if Sully's still here. What if I need him? What the hell am I thinking? Of course, I need him. I need all the help I can get right now. I strain to listen, to call him, to let him know I'm still here.  
  
I sense something solid resting on my shoulder. I think Sully's holding me down. Yeah, it's his hand. It feels like my only point of reference and it anchors me against the sensation of being at sea.  
  
Suddenly, things don't feel so out of control. I try to slow down my breathing and I think I should chance a small peek at the world. I cautiously slit my eyes open and although I can't tell what I'm looking at, at least the world isn't spinning diabolically.

* * *

The radio comes to life again. "55 Edward on the scene for back-up."  
  
Sully breathes a sigh of relief and grabs his mike. "55 Edward, okay to proceed to scene."  
  
"Copy."  
  
Sully feels better. He smiles weakly at Bosco. "Back-up is here." He suddenly remembers the call and turns quickly to check on the husband. He's still sitting quietly on the floor on the other side of the room.  
  
The door swings open and Grady and Dubois walk in quickly.  
  
"What happened here?" Grady asks as he sees Bosco down on the floor.  
  
"He just passed out all of a sudden." Sully says as he looks at back at Grady. "I need you guys to take care of the call. It's a domestic." He motions with his chin towards to husband.  
  
Dubois is already standing over the man. "I'll take him down," he says as he hauls him up to his feet.  
  
"I didn't do anything, man. That bitch is the problem. She's just acting like a victim, but let me tell you, she ain't innocent in all of this. What about what she did to me?"  
  
"Get him out of here, Rich." Grady says to his partner then moves over to the woman. "Ma'am, are you okay?"  
  
She nods her head imperceptibly as she watches Sully. She holds her baby closer and looks up at Grady with imploring eyes.  
  
Grady tries to reassure her. "You don't have to worry he's gone now." Grady casts his eyes towards the baby who seems unhurt although he's quite frightened.  
  
"His name is Brian." She says in a quivering voice.  
  
"Alright, you sit here with Brian and I'm gonna help the other officer. Okay?"  
  
She nods her head again. "He told me to stop...you know, he was trying to tell me...to stop..." she says guiltily, not daring to look at Grady.  
  
"Okay, just sit here for me." Grady turns back to Sully and sees the worry etched in his features. "How far out is the bus?"  
  
"Any minute now," Sully says unconvincingly.  
  
Bosco tries to roll over on his back.  
  
"Whoa, there Bosco. Just stay down. The paramedics will check you out in a few minutes."  
  
Bosco makes an attempt at speaking but only manages a weak, "nah." He tries to steady his breathing enough to try again. "S'kay."  
  
Sully doesn't bother to try and convince him that he's not okay. He knows he's got the upper hand and Bosco isn't going anywhere before the bus arrives.  
  
"I know Bosco. Just relax." Sully says encouragingly as the siren from the bus becomes audible outside their window.

* * *

"Doc, how is he?" Sully approaches the doctor quickly as he exits the examining room.  
  
"Well, we'll have to run some tests but he seems to be getting back to normal slowly. He has some injuries that seem to be a few days old. Are you aware of these?" The doctor looks at Sully questioningly.  
  
Sully nods and looks away from the doctor's prying eyes.  
  
"Well, he has a concussion that as far as I can tell, went undiagnosed and untreated. That could have caused the symptoms he experienced today. But, I'll know more when I run some tests."  
  
"Can I see him?" Sully averts his eyes again from the doctor.  
  
"Just for a few minutes."  
  
Sully turns quickly and makes his way into the room. Bosco is still positioned on the backboard, the cervical collar still on and the O2 mask situated on his face. Half his clothes are strewn over the floor. Automatically Sully's eyes make their way down to the large bruising on Bosco's side.  
  
Bosco blinks his eyes open and catches Sully looking at the thing he wants most to hide. He moves his hand to try and cover the area as much as possible.  
  
Sully watches Bosco struggle to accomplish this task. "It's a little cold in here," he says as he meets Bosco's eyes. He grabs the edge of the sheet beneath Bosco and pulls it up to cover him as best he can before looking away.  
  
Sully looks towards the next bed when he hears a prolonged hacking cough by one of the other patients. He turns back to find Bosco cringing at the sound of the wet, guttural cough. "I'll stay with you, okay?" Sully asks cautiously.  
  
Bosco looks up gratefully. "Sure," he whispers and closes his eyes to rest.  
  
TBC.... 


	9. Crazy 9

Summary: My take on why Bosco and Sully don't get along. Takes place shortly after Bosco graduates from the Police Academy

Disclaimer: I don't own Third Watch or any of its characters.

A/N: This story was previously posted on another Third Watch site but is no longer available at that site. However, I was encouraged to post it here by Joey and Orison.

I've taken the liberty of editing this story, as it was written on the fly when originally posted. Some of the chapters will be merged or changed slightly in the hope of enhancing the story.

Thanks for your wonderful reviews.

* * *

I close my eyes for a second 'cause I can't stand to hear that old guy coughing. Geez, that cough is so gross. He's gonna make me toss my cookies if he doesn't stop. I don't know what closing my eyes will do for my hearing but it makes me feel a little better.  
  
I gotta take my mind off his hacking. I need one of those annoying songs that get stuck in your head, but I'm too tired to think. Maybe, I can block him out by singing something, not out loud, of course, because Sully would tell everyone at the house. How about the Star Spangled Banner? Yeah, that's a good choice.

I start singing. 'O say can you see, by the dawn's early light, what so proudly we hailed, at the twilight's last gleaming'...even in my mind I'm off key. Maybe, I should try another song...I know, 'Take me out to the Ball Game'. You can't really mess that up. 'Take me out to the ball game, take me out'...shit what comes after that. I don't really care at this point. I'm just gonna rest for a while, because miraculously all sounds, gross or otherwise, have disappeared.  
  
I smile when I see the stairway, the one that appears when I'm falling asleep. I happily make my way down knowing I'm gonna get some real rest when I get to the bottom.  
  
"Officer Boscorelli, you have to stay awake," someone screams into my ear as they pinch me.  
  
I didn't realize it would be so difficult opening my eyes. I have to blink about six times before I actually make out shapes and colours.  
  
The big black shape must be Sully. The white shape must be the nurse. Please let her be the cute one.  
  
"Officer Boscorelli."  
  
There she goes again screaming in my ear. Can't she tone it down? It feels like a sonic boom.  
  
"Aagh." Was that me? How pathetic, I can't even speak anymore. I just want to tell them that all I need is a good night's sleep. Especially since I didn't go home last night. I just kept walking after I left Ma's. I don't want to think about that right now.  
  
"Officer Boscorelli."  
  
Geez, that's why I hate hospitals, you get the opposite of what you need. Right now I need peace and quiet so I can sleep. What's a matter with these people?  
  
I raise my arms so I can block my ears with my fingers. Where the hell are my ears? My hands move around and I feel hard plastic. Must be the collar. Keep moving up Bosco.  
  
"Officer Boscorelli. Are you in pain?"  
  
Hell, yes. Stop SCREAMING! You're making my head hurt. "Shhhhh..." That's all I can eke out? I was trying to tell her to shut-up.  
  
"Miss, I think he needs some quiet. Can we move him to another area?"  
  
Ah, Sully...I don't know how you can read my mind like that, but I think I'm in love.  
  
"He needs to wake up, Officer." She's yelling at Sully now. Good job old boy, at getting that shrieking voice pointed in the opposite direction.  
  
"Alright, I'll talk to him."  
  
I feel someone move in close to my head. "Bosco...you gotta stay awake, okay."  
  
Yeah, sure no problem just let me get some sleep first.  
  
"Bosco, she's not gonna leave until you open your eyes," Sully whispers in my ear. "C'mon, Bosco. My life is on the line here."  
  
He does sound desperate so I force my eyes open and stare up. Hell, I can't really tell it's Sully, except for the smell of coffee and chocolate glaze on his breath. I try to nod my head to let him know I'm okay.  
  
"Don't let him sleep." The nurse barks out at Sully.  
  
Bitch.

* * *

I don't know how he can sleep with all this racket; people coming in and out, the old guy coughing, machines beeping and whining, orders being yelled out. But I know I need to keep him awake.  
  
I'm trying not to talk too loudly 'cause he made that face like his head was gonna explode when nurse Ratchet was in here before.  
  
"Bosco, talk to me. C'mon, tell me about that hot chick you've been bragging about."  
  
I know I've got his attention when the corners of his mouth turn up slightly. "Stella..." he murmurs groggily.  
  
"Yeah, Stella. I hear she's hot." I can't help but smile too. I can't believe we're having this conversation.  
  
"So....h-hot," Bosco replies.  
  
"Where'd you meet her?"  
  
He bats his eyes a few times, and then tries to turn to look at me. He looks a little desperate. "What is it, Bosco?"  
  
"No talk...need sleep...please...five minutes," he slurs tiredly.  
  
"Bosco, I can't." I look around for you know who. "She'll kill me and then she'll kill you. And you know how she's gonna kill you?"  
  
Bosco blinks questioningly.  
  
"She's gonna scream out your name and pinch you to death."  
  
Bosco groans loudly. I think the fear of nurse Ratchet is enough to keep him awake for a while. I know I shouldn't tease him like that but I can't help myself. He's really scared of her. Hell, so am I.  
  
I look up to see the wife from our domestic call, holding her baby, looking at us through the window. She waves at me tentatively and I wave her in. "Bosco, look who's here?"  
  
Bosco's drooping eyelids shoot open at the sight of the woman. He sighs audibly and shuts his eyes tightly.

* * *

Can this day get any worse? What is she doing here?  
  
I can't look. I can't. I don't want to be reminded of what happened. I gotta block her out. 'O say can you see, by the dawn's early light, what so proudly we hailed'...dad is asleep on the couch. The television set is blaring out the national anthem. It's so loud I can't sleep. I carefully make my way around the beer bottles. I have to make sure I don't make a sound. I look for the remote, but he's probably lying on top of it. I watch him to make sure he's sleeping soundly and then make my way to the television. I reach out and push on the on/off button. The room falls silent except for the static sounds from the TV.

I wait a few seconds to allow my eyes to adjust to the darkness. I don't dare move until I know the coast is clear. I stare at the reflection of the room on the T.V. screen and notice a gap tooth man standing behind me. I feel my breath catch in my throat as I spin around quickly only to be confronted by my dad coming towards me angrily.  
  
Shit.

* * *

"Okay, that's enough. This is an ER not a coffee shop." Nurse Ratchet yells at us.  
  
I feel myself stutter. "She was j-just checking on him."  
  
"Well, I can see he's had enough visitors for now." She grabs Bosco's wrist and checks his pulse. He's breathing rapidly and his eyes are shut tightly. She pulls back his eyelids and checks them with a small flashlight.  
  
Bosco moans loudly.  
  
I offer the obvious. "I don't think he's doing okay."  
  
"No shit Sherlock. No one here is doing okay in case you haven't noticed." She checks his pressure. Then turns and dials a number on the wall phone. Is CT open? I'm bringing up Officer Boscorelli, Dr. Beck's patient."  
  
She hooks the IV bag to the side of the bed and makes sure she's not forgetting anything else before she rolls him out of the room and leaves me, the wife and baby staring stupidly at each other.  
  
TBC...


	10. Crazy 10

Summary: My take on why Bosco and Sully don't get along. Takes place shortly after Bosco graduates from the Police Academy

Disclaimer: I don't own Third Watch or any of its characters.

A/N: This story was previously posted on another Third Watch site but no longer available there. I was encouraged to post it here by Joey and Orison.

I've taken the liberty of editing this story, as it was written on the fly when originally posted. Some of the chapters will be merged or changed slightly in the hope of enhancing the story.

Thanks for your wonderful reviews.

* * *

Sully sits patiently in the nurses' lounge. He cradles a lukewarm cup of coffee in his hands. He stares straight ahead, his eyes not focused on anything in particular.  
  
The nurse who took Bosco up for his CT enters and quickly marches to her locker. She grabs a few items before turning towards Sully. "Officer Boscorelli is back in the ER," she says matter-of-factly.  
  
Sully looks up at her, only realizing then that she was talking to him. Not sure he heard her correctly, he repeats her statement. "Officer Boscorelli's back in the ER?"  
  
She rolls her eyes before answering. "Yeah, he's back in the exam room. The doctor will be with him shortly. He's reviewing his results now. I better get back to him and make sure he's not sleeping," she says with an evil grin.  
  
Sully springs into action at the sound of her words. "If it's okay with you, I'll go and check on him. Take your time here." He stands and tosses the half filled cup of coffee into the wastebasket before exiting quickly.  
  
Sully makes his way back to the exam room and finds Bosco in the same area as before. Actually, none of the players have changed since the nurse wheeled Bosco out over an hour ago. The old man on the opposite side is still coughing and the other patient is moaning and groaning about something.  
  
Bosco is just lying there, his eyes drooping to half-mast before he catches himself and opens them wide to keep awake.  
  
"Hey, Bosco." Sully moves right over him so he doesn't have to look sideways. Bosco smiles in recognition.  
  
"Hey," he manages to croak out.  
  
"The doctor is checking your results now and he'll be in to talk to you soon."  
  
"I wanna go home," Bosco whines tiredly.  
  
"The doctor will be here shortly," Sully says positively and smiles down at Bosco. "Just try and relax."  
  
"Can I sleep?"  
  
"I don't think that's an option according to your nurse." Sully looks up and scans the area outside the room. He sees Lieutenant Swersky walking towards them. "Lieu, is here," he says and then looks down at Bosco.  
  
"I don't want him to see me."  
  
"Too late, here he comes."  
  
Swersky pushes the door open and walks to the opposite side of the bed from Sully. Bosco has his eyes closed and is breathing deeply. Swersky eyes him for a second before looking back up at Sully.  
  
"How is he?"  
  
"The doctor is reviewing some test results and he'll be in shortly." Sully says evenly.  
  
"Does this have anything to do with the 'spill' he took a few days ago?"  
  
Sully senses that lieu knows more than he's letting on and this could be his opportunity to get back at Michaels and Giambetti. "Yeah," he nods and stares at Lieu.  
  
"Bosco?" Swersky asks impatiently. "Bosco?"  
  
Bosco opens his eyes and searches out Sully before turning to the Lieutenant.  
  
"Bosco, this is important, did Michaels and Giambetti do this?" Swersky can't contain the anger in his voice.  
  
"What?" Bosco croaks out. His eyes reflect the lack of understanding of the question.  
  
Lieu repeats the question a little more gently at the sight of Bosco's confusion. "Did Michaels and Giambetti have anything to do with this?"  
  
Bosco looks around as if trying to decide what to do. "No," he says as he tries to shake his head but the collar prevents the movement. "No," he repeats emphatically.  
  
"Bosco, you don't have to be afraid." Lieu says quietly.  
  
Bosco's breathing gets heavier and he begins to clench his hands.  
  
Sully intercedes as he sees Bosco's agitation intensifying with this whole line of questioning. "Lieu, maybe we should wait before having this conversation." Sully raises his eyebrows slightly and juts out his chin towards Bosco. Lieu takes his cue and looks down at Bosco and back to Sully.  
  
Swersky softens his tone. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make this worse."  
  
"I'll give you an update later, Lieu."  
  
Swersky takes one last look at Bosco before nodding apologetically to Sully and walking out.  
  
Bosco steadies his breathing before opening his eyes again and staring up at Sully. "You told him, didn't you?" he asks accusingly.  
  
"No, I didn't tell him anything." Sully replies without wavering. He holds Bosco's gaze.  
  
Bosco continues to stare at him, watching for signs of betrayal, when he finds none he relaxes slightly. "Then who, huh?"  
  
"I don't know but Lieu's been around for a long time. He knows what's going on in his precinct and this wasn't the first time those guys have done something like this."  
  
Bosco closes his eyes. "Then, why did you let them do that to me?"  
  
"Bosco, I tried to explain. It was supposed to be Grady and Dubois. I never would have asked those two morons...I'm sorry, really, I am."  
  
"Officer Boscorelli." Dr. Beck enters the area holding some paperwork. "I have your results."  
  
"I'll be outside if you need me." Sully says as he moves from where he stands.  
  
"You can stay," Bosco whispers and then slowly opens his eyes to look up at Sully.  
  
Sully nods his head in acknowledgment and steps aside to let the doctor by.  
  
"Well, the head CT is clear. No indication of any brain lesions or bleeding due to the concussion you suffered." The doctor looks concerned but continues.  
  
"The other injuries caused some bruising especially to the kidney and that's why we found blood in your urine. The ultrasound did not show any permanent damage and the discomfort you feel when you urinate should clear itself out in a few days." He looks down at Bosco to make sure he understands.  
  
"You blood work also shows some indication dehydration and exhaustion. Some rest and the IV should take care of that." He reads through a few more lines and flips through the other pages looking for something. "I can't say with absolute certainty if any of this contributed to the severity of your symptoms tonight but I am concerned. It could likely be post concussion syndrome but I'd like to keep you overnight just to rule that out."  
  
"No... I wanna go home." Bosco moans out again.  
  
"Officer Boscorelli, I really do recommend that you stay. We could monitor you overnight and then you can go home tomorrow." Dr. Beck says sternly.  
  
Bosco groans in desperation. "I just wanna sleep."  
  
"You can go to sleep right now. I'll have your nurse wake you up every two hours during the night, and if everything checks out okay we'll sign you out by lunch." Dr. Beck reaches over to remove the cervical collar.  
  
Bosco moans pitifully at the thought of the nurse startling him out of a restful sleep throughout the night. "No...I wanna go home."  
  
"Well, I can't keep you here. You can sign out AMA with some home care instructions. You'll need to be awakened every two hours during the next 24 hour period just to rule out post concussion syndrome."  
  
"Maurice?"  
  
The three of them all look up at the same time as Mrs. Boscorelli makes her way into the room. Her coat is unfastened and her scarf is hanging off her shoulder. Her expression is one of contained panic.  
  
Mrs. Boscorelli pushes past Sully before he has a chance to slow her down and calm her fears.  
  
"Maurice? Maurice, what happened?" She grabs his hand and visually checks him out. Her eyes run over him expecting to find blood or worse.  
  
"I'm fine, Ma." Bosco sighs as he closes his eyes so not to look at her.  
  
Mrs. Boscorelli looks up at the doctor expectantly. "What's wrong with him?"  
  
"There really isn't anything wrong. He needs some rest and liquids, and he should be good as new."  
  
"What happened?" She questions Sully now and he feels her eyes boring through him.  
  
"Uh, he passed out." Sully's not sure what she wants to hear or what he should be telling her. He peers over at Bosco for help but he has his eyes closed.  
  
"Maurice?" She takes his face in her hands as Bosco tries to turn away. "Maurice, look at me." She holds his face so that he'll be forced to look at her when he opens his eyes.  
  
He blinks up at her slowly. "Ma..." It comes out more as a whine than an acknowledgement. He stares at her for a second before guiltily closing his eyes again.  
  
Mrs. Boscorelli searches his face for answers then asks, "Maurice, was this like the other times?" Her voice is steady and firm but her eyes fill with tears.  
  
"Has he had similar symptoms before?" Dr Beck asks.  
  
Mrs. Boscorelli ignores the question. Her attention is focused solely on her son. "Maurice, tell me. I can't help you if you don't tell me," she pleads quietly while smoothing back the hair from his forehead.  
  
Bosco doesn't open his eyes. "Please...don't do this now."  
  
"Mrs. Boscorelli, if there's something I should know, it's best to advise me now." Dr. Beck looks at her enquiringly.  
  
Mrs. Boscorelli, searches Bosco's face for a few seconds then turns to face the doctor, her hand still holding Bosco's.  
  
"Can he come home with me?" She asks worriedly.  
  
"No," Bosco blurts out. "I gotta stay overnight," he says with a shaky voice.  
  
Mrs. Boscorelli turns back to stare at Bosco. He turns his eyes away from her and her face shifts from worry to anger as she looks down at the floor. The uneasiness in the room is palpable at this point. Sully shifts his weight from one foot to the other and no one dares look at anyone else.  
  
"Fine. Call me if you need me," she says coldly before turning and walking away.  
  
TBC... 


	11. Crazy 11

Summary: My take on why Bosco and Sully don't get along. Takes place shortly after Bosco graduates from the Police Academy

Disclaimer: I don't own Third Watch or any of its characters.

A/N: This story was previously posted on another Third Watch site but no longer available there. I was encouraged to post it here by Joey and Orison.

Thanks for your wonderful reviews.

* * *

The doctor finally leaves after checking me out again for the 20th time. I don't know what he's looking for since he has all the test results he's ever gonna need to figure this whole thing out.  
  
Sully is waiting outside for God knows what because I'm not supposed to be going anywhere soon. And Ma, well Ma is totally pissed off at me.  
  
I know I lied to Ma so I wouldn't have to go home with her. There, I'm a goddamn awful son for lying to my Ma. But sometimes, I need more space than she can give me. She's been smothering me ever since.... I turn my head slowly and stare at the old man lying in the other bed. He finally stops coughing his lungs out and everything in them. Great, just great, I get peace and quiet now that I can't sleep. I try to turn to get comfortable but everything hurts and I flip onto my back again.  
  
The nurse gave me one of those gowns to wear since they cut up my shirt and undershirt. The gown lies on the bed in a heap because there's no way I'm wearing it. I'm still wearing my pants and I'm trying to pull up any bit of the sheet sticking out from under me to cover myself. Damn it's cold. I feel a tremor running through me. Don't they have any blankets in this place?  
  
I look down at the gown. Okay, I'll bite. I grab it and use it as a blanket. Geez, our tax dollars at work. No wonder more people die in hospitals than anywhere else.  
  
I close my eyes. I can feel the fatigue in my brain. My eyes burn from lack of sleep and I can't seem to get my thoughts straightened out. Images jumble through my brain replaying recent events. I just let my brain run through them for what seems like hours until...until I'm walking down the staircase, yeah, the sleep staircase. I'm making my way down and I smile when I see the bottom. But then – BAM - I miss a step and I feel myself falling. I grab on to the side of the bed as I jerk awake.  
  
Shit. That hurt.  
  
My chin feels wet so I reach up and touch the side of my mouth. Geez, now I know I'm really tired 'cause I'm drooling too. Can this day get any worse? I wipe my chin and pull the gown up over my head and watch it as it flutters down gently on top of me. I want to forget about this place and this day and this...  
  
There, that's better. I start to feel like I'm in my own little world. The glare from the overhead light is muted by the fabric over my head. I stare up at the gown from underneath and watch as the patterns start to swim in every direction. The effect is hypnotizing and I feel my eyes drooping shut. I feel warm and cozy and content as I let myself drift...  
  
"Officer Boscorelli."  
  
...until I fall from the top of the stairs.  
  
"Officer Boscorelli, are you okay?"  
  
Holy crap, she just about killed me with the shriek. I clutch the side of the bed as my buffer from the cold, cruel world is yanked off my head. I feel my heart racing and I try to swallow the lump in my throat as I stare up at her.  
  
My fear gets the better of me, and I hear myself gasp as her eyes spit daggers at me. I see Sully, his hand on the door, halfway into the room with his mouth hanging open as if to say, 'Sorry, I tried but she was just too fast for me.'  
  
I look back up at her, and I try to speak but the words get caught in my throat.  
  
"Are you okay?" She lowers her face to stare at me even more intently.  
  
My head bobs up and down like those toy dogs in back window of a car. I'm hoping the quicker she gets it, the faster she'll leave me alone.  
  
"You had me worried there for a sec." She backs off slowly. Her eyes still looking for any sign of a problem.  
  
"Sorry..." I whisper finding my voice again.  
  
"We don't have any rooms open, so you'll be staying here with me tonight." She smiles down at me and I swear her eyes turn a bright red. She is my own personal boogieman.  
  
"Bosco?" Sully moves right by the bed.  
  
I feel a wave of relief and stutter, "d-don't leave me... uhh...don't leave yet...I-I gotta ask you something." I'm hoping Sully gets my plea for help.  
  
Sully nods sympathetically. "Can you excuse us?" he asks the nurse.  
  
"Oh, yeah, sure," she mumbles as she turns to leave.  
  
I clutch at my chest and breathe deeply. Sully just stands there and shakes his head slowly as if surveying the scene of a senseless accident.  
  
"Bosco, you don't have to stay here if you don't want to." He looks down at me pitifully.  
  
"I'm not going to my Ma's," I say firmly and I mean it.  
  
"Nah, I was thinking, you can stay with me," he says softly as he jams his fists in his coat pocket. "If you want to get out of here," he adds.  
  
Hell, of course I want out of here. But, it's not that simple. I know Sully's trying to be a good guy but I can't...I can't take that chance...'cause the nightmares might come back...and then he'll see.  
  
"I'll be okay, Sul. Don't worry." I say casually  
  
His eyebrows furrow and he purses his lips. Now, he's definitely suspicious. I try to recover before he speaks. "I'm too tired to move, Sul. Really, I'll be fine. She'll forget all about me in a couple of hours...I'll be fine."  
  
"Sure?" He's still eyeing me suspiciously.  
  
"Yeah," I say and then throw in a big yawn. I can't hold his gaze and so I start to adjust the IV. I feel myself swallow hard 'cause I'm lying to everyone tonight.  
  
Sully peers at his watch and grabs my gun belt hanging off his shoulder. "I still have a couple hours in the shift," he says almost to himself. I can actually see his mind working out a plan. "I'll go back to the house and drop off your stuff, finish the reports for the night and then I'll come back and check on you." I can tell he's satisfied with himself by the smile on his face.  
  
"Sounds good, Sul." I pull the gown up to my chin.  
  
"Okay, I'll be back soon." He backs up a couple of feet before turning and leaving the room.

--------------------------------------------------  
  
Faith walks into the ER followed by her partner, Billy Washington. They're bringing in a kid who sustained minor injuries during a scuffle.  
  
Faith makes her way to the desk and reaches back to pull the kid along with her. "I got one that needs to be checked out," she tells the nurse. His hands are cuffed behind his back and she gives him the eye as if to say, 'don't try anything buddy.'  
  
"Just take a seat, we'll take a look at him as soon as we have someone available."  
  
"Thanks." Faith glares at the kid and points at the plastic chairs to her right. He automatically moves to one and sits quietly. Washington follows him and cuffs him to the metal bar beneath the chair.  
  
He turns back towards the nurses' station and chuckles lightly. "I'd hate to be one of your kids, Faith. Just that look had this guy shaking in his pants." He leans his elbows on the counter and drops his head before he is overtaken by another giggle. "I think we need more mothers on the force."  
  
Faith smiles back at him. "Yeah, we should have a force made up of mothers and grandmothers. I can picture it now...everyone will be shamed into being good."  
  
"Hey Washington. Good to see you, man." A male orderly slaps him on the back and feigns a few boxing moves before turning his attention towards Faith. "And who is the fine female specimen with you?" He ogles Faith and extends his hand towards her.  
  
"She ain't no fine specimen," Washington snorts but is stopped by a quick jab to the shoulder from Faith.  
  
"Are you saying I ain't fine?" Faith puts on a look of insult and reaches out her hand towards the orderly. "Faith Yokas."  
  
He gently takes her hand and turns it over and lightly kisses it. "Pleasure to meet you Faith. They call me Lucky, and you can say that I am tonight."  
  
Washington rolls his eyes and sighs. "Lucky, are you ever gonna get lucky with those lame lines you use on the ladies?"  
  
"One of these day, one of these days," he muses philosophically.  
  
They all laugh lightly at the playful banter.  
  
"Hey, are you here to check up on the officer that was brought in earlier."  
  
Faith and Washington look at each other quizzically.  
  
"We didn't hear about it, musta been on a call. Anything serious?" Washington asks.  
  
"I don't think so but he's still here." The orderly moves behind the desk and flips through some charts. "Here it is, Officer Bosc –Boscor-"  
  
"Boscorelli," Faith exclaims worriedly.  
  
"Yeah, that's it." The orderly looks up at Faith. "You guys know him?"  
  
Faith nods her head and looks back at Washington. He straightens up and looks around the ER for Sully.  
  
"Where is he?" Faith crosses her arms in front of her and bites her lower lip.  
  
"He's in the exam room over there." The orderly points at the room at the end of the corridor.  
  
"Billy, can you watch him?" Faith motions toward the kid handcuffed to the chair. "I wanna check on Bosco." She starts to walk away without waiting for an answer.  
  
"Yeah," he drawls out slowly. He watches her as she picks up her pace towards the room.  
  
Faith pushes the door open and finds an old man, a groaner, and an empty bed. A nurse is administering medication to the older man.  
  
"Excuse me, I'm looking for Officer Boscorelli." Faith interrupts.  
  
"Yup, he couldn't sleep so he went up to the cafeteria to grab something to eat. He should be back soon," she says without shifting her gaze away from the task at hand.  
  
"Thanks." Faith exits and walks towards the elevators. It can't be that bad if he's gone to the cafeteria, she thinks to herself. She impatiently pushes the up button several times but gives up on waiting when it's too slow for her liking. She takes the stairs two at a time until she makes it to the 4th floor.  
  
She walks down the corridor and then enters the main cafeteria. It's pretty deserted at this time of the night and her eyes automatically find Bosco at a table by the window. Faith approaches him quietly.  
  
She notes that he has a hospital gown on but he's wearing his pants too. His right arm is folded in front of him and the back of his hand is being used to cushion his head from the hard tabletop. A half eaten sandwich is cradled lightly in his half opened left hand. His IV bag lies limply on the table, the line snaking its way to tape at the top of his left hand.  
  
Faith peers down at him to make sure he's okay. He seems to be asleep by the sound of his soft breaths. She pulls up a chair and sits next to him.  
  
"Bos?" She waits patiently for any sign of wakefulness before trying again. "Bos." This time she sees him stirring. He moves his head slightly and then slowly lifts it up from its resting place.  
  
"Umm." He looks around sleepily. Sleep lines from his hand leave their mark across his cheek and his eyes are glazed over. Once he recognizes Faith, he lets his head drop down again and allows his eyes to droop shut.  
  
"Bos, are you okay?"  
  
He nods his head slowly without opening his eyes. Faith gently removes the sandwich from his hand.  
  
"Bosco, wouldn't you be more comfortable down in the ER, in a bed?"  
  
Faith watches as he scrunches up his face and shakes his head no. A few seconds later, his breathing evens out and his face relaxes. He's definitely asleep again.  
  
She grabs her radio and keys it. "Billy, I'm with Bosco in the cafeteria. Call me when we're ready to go."  
  
"Looks like we might be here a while, Faith." Washington responds.  
  
Faith peers down at Bosco, taking in his appearance, trying to figure out what happened to him. He still has the bruises around his eyes and she scans him for any other signs. Her eyes stop when they notice the faded bruises around his wrists.  
  
Her thoughts are interrupted when she sees him shivering slightly. All he's wearing is that short-sleeved hospital gown which is open at the back, not providing much warmth. She stands and moves behind Bosco. She carefully does up the ties to hold the gown in place starting from the top. Halfway down, she stops when she sees the discoloured bruising barely covered by the gown. She hesitates before making another move. She wonders how he could have sustained this type of injury. I couldn't have been from the fall he took a couple of days ago.  
  
She lets her curiosity get the better of her and slowly pulls the gown to the side. The bruising extends all the way around and then some. She finishes doing up the last tie before sitting back down next to him.  
  
He really shouldn't be here. He should be back in the ER, in a bed, where he could sleep more comfortably. She hesitates before touching his arm gently.  
  
"Bosco."  
  
"Um," he murmurs without opening his eyes.  
  
"Bosco, let's go back downstairs. You can sleep in a bed instead of on a table."  
  
"Sleep?" Bosco sighs heavily.  
  
"Yeah, Bos. How about sleeping in a nice comfy bed?" Faith eggs him on.  
  
Bosco's eyebrows crease questioningly. "Won't let me sleep," He whispers as he shivers again.  
  
Faith knows she won't get very far with him like this. She removes her jacket and drapes it over his shoulders.  
  
"Bos, I'm gonna go down for a minute. I'll be right back."  
  
The only response she gets is a slight nod of his head. With that she makes her way back towards the ER.  
  
-----------------------------------------------

Gunshots echo in the distance. Helicopters float in the deep blue sky.  
  
I'm only capable of silent screams.  
  
Soft chocolate eyes stare back at me from under the flowing water.  
  
He did it himself because he loved him so much. How could a father love a son that much?  
  
Mothers beat their breasts. Their cries are tearless.  
  
Dusty fields. Nothing grows here except hate and death.  
  
Heartbeat; racing with terror.  
  
Small arms floating on the surface of the water.  
  
Faces distorted, frozen by fear.  
  
Oh God. The children...the children are all dead.

TBC... 


	12. Crazy 12

Summary: My take on why Bosco and Sully don't get along. Takes place shortly after Bosco graduates from the Police Academy

Disclaimer: I don't own Third Watch or any of its characters.

A/N: This story was previously posted on another Third Watch site but no longer available there. I was encouraged to post it here by Joey and Orison.

Thanks for your wonderful reviews.

* * *

Faith leans onto the counter of the admitting desk. She pushes the loose strands of hair that fall out of her bun back behind her ear. Her frustration is clear in her body language and she motions to the nurse to approach her.  
  
"Can't you just send an orderly to get him from the cafeteria?"  
  
"He's fine," the nurse responds in exasperation. She places more charts on the desk in front of her. "We'll go get him when it's time."  
  
"Well how the hell do I know he's fine when you won't tell me what's wrong with him?" Faith rubs her temple and looks around the ER for someone who might be more helpful.  
  
"Officer..." the nurse searches Faith's badge for her name, "Yokas. You know I can't discuss a patient's diagnosis or prognosis without his consent."  
  
"Well, if you got him back down here where he belongs, he could give you his consent," Faith barks out.  
  
"Faith."  
  
She feels a hand on her upper arm and turns to look at Billy. He points to Sully who is just walking through the sliding doors.  
  
"Finally," she mumbles as she glares back at the nurse.  
  
She doesn't wait for Sully but approaches him instead. "What happened to Bosco?" She says harshly.  
  
"And hello to you too, Faith," Sully responds sarcastically.  
  
"You think this is funny?' Faith's annoyance is clearly etched on her face. Faith crosses her arms and blocks Sully's path. She leans forward and whispers to him. "He didn't fall, did he?"

"What are you talking about, Faith?" Sully replies annoyed.

"When he came in a couple of days ago, he said he fell." She looks at Sully accusingly.  
  
"Is that what he told you?" Sully questions as he closes the gap between the two of them.  
  
"Yeah, that's what he told me." Faith lies.  
  
Sully frowns and looks down at his feet. "Then you got more outta him than I did." He pushes past her and walks toward the exam room.  
  
Faith stands there dumbfounded by his response. It wasn't what she was expecting to hear but it confirms her instinct that his injuries weren't caused by a fall down some stairs. Her gut tells her Sully knows more than he's letting on. She spins around quickly and shouts out to him, "don't bother, he's not there."  
  
Sully stops and Faith sees his shoulders sag slightly. He turns around and walks back towards her. "Did he sign himself out?" He says dejectedly.  
  
Sully suddenly looks tired as he thinks about chasing after Bosco.  
  
"Sign himself out? He's in no shape to sign himself out." Faith shakes her head. "I found him up in the cafeteria, sleeping." She is unable to mask her anger at this whole situation.  
  
Sully chuckles lightly and turns back to look for nurse Ratchet. "He's smarter than he looks," he mutters to himself.  
  
Faith doesn't understand his comment so she ignores it. "Yeah, well no one here seems to CARE that he should be resting in a bed instead of sleeping on a table." Faith makes sure her voice carries over to the nurses' station.  
  
Sully smiles. "Faith, he's gonna be fine. Trust me he's better off upstairs."  
  
"Well, I'm gonna go check on him, and make sure he's okay," Faith shouts towards the nurses' station.  
  
This earns her a hard stare from the lone nurse behind the desk.  
  
Faith looks around, spots a wheelchair leaning against the far wall, grabs it and starts pushing it towards the elevator.  
  
"Hold up Faith. I'll come up with you." Sully huffs as he chases after her.  
  
Sully is impressed by Faith's concern for Bosco and eyes her with a sideways glance as they wait in silence for the elevator. He doesn't really know her but it's obvious she cares a great deal about Bosco. She's probably the only friend he has from the Academy or at the precinct. She's the only person he's ever seen speaking to Bosco without screaming or cursing at him.  
  
He's intrigued by their relationship. They are obviously not the two people most likely to get along and he doesn't see how they would have anything in common.  
  
"You've known Bosco for a while?" He asks as he turns his eyes back to the flashing numbers over the elevator door.  
  
Faith drums her finger on the handles of the chair as she waits impatiently. "No, we only met in the Academy."  
  
"You guys seem to be good friends." Sully says as he rocks back and forth on the balls of his feet.  
  
"We're friends. We helped each other out at the Academy."  
  
The elevator opens and they both enter. Faith looks down nervously at her hands. "You know, he's a good guy, but, nobody sees that." She bites her lower lip. "He just needs someone to believe in him. Once you earn his trust, you've got it forever." She watches Sully intently, sizing him up, determining whether he's the right partner for Bosco.  
  
Sully nods back. "Yeah, he's not a bad kid."  
  
The elevator dings and the doors open. Faith pushes ahead of Sully as they make their way to the cafeteria. She pushes the wheelchair into the swinging doors of the cafeteria and looks towards the table by the window where she left Bosco.  
  
Her eyes scan the room but there is no sign of him. She spots her police jacket lying haphazardly on the floor.  
  
She looks up at Sully. "He was here fifteen minutes ago," she says almost defensively.  
  
Sully continues to search out the room. "Well, he's not here now."  
  
Faith moves towards the table and retrieves her jacket along the way. She tosses it on the wheelchair. When she arrives at the table she reaches down and picks up the IV bag. She turns it over in her hand and grabs the tape and needle swinging from the other end of the tube.  
  
Sully steps in behind her and sighs loudly, his eyes searching the area for any other evidence left behind by Bosco. All he finds are a couple of drops of blood splattered on the floor.

* * *

"Little bastard is gonna kill me," Sully mutters to himself as he pulls out of the hospital parking lot. He turns the steering wheel hard as he curses under his breath.  
  
"Crazy kid," Sully hisses at the thought of all the time he wasted searching for Bosco in the hospital.  
  
Sully presses on the gas as he weaves around the slower moving cars. All he can think about is why Bosco would leave the hospital when he knew he was gonna return. "He could have waited for me. I'd have given him a lift." He says irately. He lets his anger take over, letting it push aside the worry in his gut.  
  
Sully checks the rear view mirror and tries to work out the fastest route to Bosco's apartment. He doesn't notice the light turning red until he's almost across the intersection. He brakes suddenly as he pushes himself off the steering wheel to keep from smashing into it. The seatbelt tightens and pulls him back sharply. He wipes at his brow as he pants heavily. The sudden stop force his emotions to slow down as well.  
  
His thoughts return to the things that worry him the most. Why the hell did the kid leave without a coat? It was damn cold outside and he just took-off, without a word to anyone. He didn't even sign himself out.  
  
"I shoulda stayed. What the hell was I thinking?" Sully berates himself. "Calm down, Sully. Just calm down." But saying the words doesn't help his racing heart rate and his fear. Nothing adds up and he needs to find Bosco fast.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------

Rose is awakened by a soft knock on her door. She stares at the muted TV and then pushes the button on the remote to instantly flash the time on the screen. It's just after midnight. She sits up and waits, listening for another knock.  
  
She is greeted by silence until she hears something soft rubbing against the door.  
  
She stands hurriedly, fear causing her heart to beat faster. She hesitatingly advances towards the door and uses the peephole to look for the cause of the knocking and the other sound. There is no one standing on the other side.  
  
He eyes dart nervously as she presses her ear against the door straining to hear the slightest sound.  
  
Nothing. All is quiet. She debates whether she should open the door and take a peek. It could be a trick and Maurice always warned her not to open the door especially at night.  
  
Then she hears it, almost imperceptible, but none the less a small whimper.  
  
She straightens up and pulls the door open slightly. She peers out and sees someone sitting on the floor of the doorway. Without seeing his face she knows its Bosco.  
  
Her hands fumble nervously to undo the chain, and she pulls the door open hard. It bangs into the inside wall. She looks out and sees her son sitting with his arms wrapped around his knees his back shaking with each small breath, wearing nothing but a hospital gown over his pants.  
  
She's afraid to approach or touch him. "Maurice?" She asks tentatively.  
  
He lifts his head slightly and peeps up at her with one eye. His breaths hitch slightly and he doesn't say a thing. He never lets go of his knees but he lets his fingers move up towards her, pleading for her to touch him somehow.  
  
She hesitates, afraid for him. "Maurice?"  
  
"Ma," his voice is barely a squeak as he dodges her gaze.  
  
Rose leans down and touches his outstretched hand. Bosco wraps his trembling fingers around hers, pulling her hand down towards him, begging her forgiveness and comfort.  
  
She holds her breath, afraid that he doesn't really know where he is, that it's not really him.  
  
"Ma, I'm sorry," he whispers as he buries his head back into his knees.  
  
"Shhh, baby," She reaches out with her free hand and softly caresses his trembling back. "Maurice, I'm here, baby. I'm right here."  
  
"I-I d-don't d-deserve you," he stutters softly.  
  
These words that cut through her heart are all the proof she needs to know that it's really him.  
  
-------------------------------------------------------------------

"I'm gonna wring his little neck." Sully mumbles as he marches down the corridor towards Bosco's apartment. He stands in front of the door and pounds it with his fist.  
  
He barely waits before he rams his fist into the door again.  
  
"Bosco, if you're in there, you better open up." He stands still, his body not knowing what to do in the seconds that follow. He throws his head back and turns around while he continues to curse, "son of a bitch."  
  
He turns to face the door again and looks at the bottom for any sign of light.  
  
Sully begins to pace in the corridor. He runs his hand nervously through his hair. Worrisome thoughts push his anger aside and take over his brain. He jams his hands into his pockets. He hand brushes against a paper and he pulls it out and stares at it.  
  
It's Faith phone number. She made him promise to call her if there was a problem or he couldn't find Bosco. She would have searched the hospital with Sully but he managed to convince that everything was all right and she should return to the station with her collar.  
  
He blows out a slow breath. He can't let himself get worked up like this. He tells himself he's being irrational, but he can't help the way he feels. He can't help feeling scared and nervous, his body reacting to the thoughts in his brain.

-----------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Rose draws slow circles across his back. Bosco's lying in his bed, on his side, his free arm curled tightly into his chest.  
  
"Was it the dreams?" She asks.  
  
She watches as he closes his eyes and swallows before nodding his head once.  
  
"Do you remember...anything?" She asks haltingly, afraid of the answer no matter what it is.  
  
He shakes his head no as he starts to breathe rapidly.  
  
"Okay, baby, shhhh, it's okay."  
  
"It's my fault," he murmurs.  
  
"What's your fault Maurice?" She hates to have to push him but she needs to get to the bottom of this. He's never been able to remember any of his nightmares, maybe he knows something this time.  
  
He hesitates and then she sees his lip start to quiver slightly. "I don't know," he says in a strangled voice laced with fear and exhaustion.  
  
"It's okay, baby. It's not your fault. You hear me?" She runs her hand tenderly across his cheek but realizes he's not really listening to her.  
  
She doesn't take her eyes off of him even for a second. She's watching for any sign, a clue of what's going on inside his head.  
  
She sees his struggle to stay awake as his exhausted mind and body fight against the inevitable. His eyes droop shut but never close completely, they flick open in an unfocused haze every few minutes.  
  
Each breath is followed by a soft moan, confirming to Rose the extent of his fatigue.  
  
"You can sleep Maurice. I'll sit here with you. I won't leave." She tries to reassure him.  
  
His hand reaches out from his body searching for her. Rose takes it and he draws it into his chest. She leans in and whispers soothingly into his ear.  
  
"I'm right here, Maurice. I'm right here with you."  
  
TBC...


	13. Crazy 13

Summary: My take on why Bosco and Sully don't get along. Takes place shortly after Bosco graduates from the Police Academy

Disclaimer: I don't own Third Watch or any of its characters.

A/N: This story was previously posted on another Third Watch site but no longer available there. I was encouraged to post it here by Joey and Orison.

Thanks for your wonderful reviews.

* * *

Rose pries her fingers from Bosco's limp hand. She gazes down at him and gently smoothes back the hair from his forehead. She turns to eye the clock on the nightstand; it flashes 1:17. She knows it's going to be a long night. She wants to call the hospital to find out what happened, but she doesn't want to leave him alone.  
  
She leans in to towards him, and examines his sleeping form; She notices he sleeps with his eyes slightly open. It is unnerving watching him in this state. But, his soft shallow breaths indicate he's fast asleep, for the moment.  
  
She gets up from the bed slowly and makes her way to the living room. The desk in the corner contains a telephone directory. She sighs loudly as she flips through it and finds the number for Mercy. She moves over to sit on the couch and briefly listens for any sounds from his room before picking up the handset and dialling.  
  
"Mercy – Emergency Room." A small female voice answers.  
  
"Uh, hello. I'm Rose Boscorelli. My son was admitted into the ER earlier tonight. His name is Maurice Boscorelli."  
  
"One moment, please." Rose hears voices in the back ground as the phone is placed on the desk. After a few seconds of papers being shuffled someone picks up the phone again.  
  
"Yes, he was here earlier but he seems to have left the hospital."  
  
"Yes, I know, he's with me now."  
  
"Oh...okay." The nurse flips through the chart. "Um...he wasn't discharged by his doctor yet and he needs to follow home care instructions. Does he have those with him?"  
  
Rose feels her headache intensifying. She automatically reaches for her crucifix and fingers it lightly. "No, he doesn't have them."  
  
"Alright then, I'll give you the instructions and then Mr. Boscorelli can come back to sign his papers and get his clearance for his return to duty." She wants to tell the nurse not to bother, that she knows the drill, that they won't find anything physically wrong with him. But she doesn't have the strength to argue. "Yeah, sure," she sighs out tiredly.  
  
The nurse recites the instructions but Rose doesn't bother to jot them down. She's barely listening as her mind searches for something, anything that will make this nightmare end for all of them.  
  
----------------------------------------------------------

Sully drives around aimlessly as he scours the streets for any sign of Bosco.  
  
Eventually, he realizes that he's winding his way back to the hospital; subconsciously backtracking from Bosco's apartment.  
  
He is beyond anger at this point and debates whether he should call Faith. He slams the car into park as he stops in front of Mercy and stares at her number. Calling her would mean admitting that he can't watch over his partner.  
  
But she probably knows Bosco better than him and would be able to help figure out where he could've gone.  
  
Sully walks into the ER and looks around for a phone. The waiting area and lounge seem to have emptied since the last time he was here a few hours ago.  
  
He walks up to the nurses' station and picks up the handset on the counter.  
  
"Officer."  
  
Oh, oh. Nurse Ratchet is staring at him.  
  
"I just need to make one phone call." He doesn't have the patience to deal with her right now and the weariness in his voice is evident.  
  
"We found you partner," she says with a hint of annoyance.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Your partner, Officer Boscorelli. He's at his mom's. She called in a while ago to let us know."  
  
The little energy Sully has left drains out of his body. He mumbles his thanks and then moves over to one of the plastic chairs in the waiting area. He slumps down wearily and leans his elbows on his knees. He sighs his thanks to whoever is watching over him because he can't deal with this kind of shit. He just can't.

---------------------------------------------------------  
  
Bosco stares up as he hears the whooshes from the helicopter blades.  
  
Each blade revolves slowly, throwing a huge shadow over him, momentarily shielding him from the bright sunlight. But with each turn, the juxtaposition of light and dark become more intense, more disorienting.  
  
He doesn't move, doesn't signal for help. He doesn't feel a thing, not a shred of emotion. He has nothing left to give, not relief at being found, not sadness for the children.  
  
Whoosh.  
  
A hand reaches for him. Someone is next to him, pulling him by the collar.  
  
Whoosh.  
  
His father is staring down at him, anger in his eyes.  
  
Whoosh.  
  
Mikey is lying face down in the river.  
  
Whoosh.  
  
"What the hell is the matter with you? Look what they did to your brother. You were supposed to watch him you little brat."  
  
Whoosh.  
  
His father hauls him over to the river and pushes his head under the water. He's doing this to punish him for Mikey.  
  
Whoosh.  
  
He's flipped over. His father's hateful eyes lock on his. "They all wanna see you squirm, you little bastard."  
  
Whoosh.  
  
The villagers line the shore and watch, their eyes wide, their faces emotionless.  
  
Whoosh.  
  
His head is pushed back into the water.  
  
Whoosh.  
  
From underwater the faces of the children seem to swim over him.  
  
Whoosh.  
  
They look down at him, their brown eyes glistening with unshed tears but no one makes a move to help.  
  
Whoosh.  
  
His father smiles as he tightens his grip around his neck.  
  
Whoosh.  
  
------------------------------------------------------------

Rose hears noise coming from the bedroom, followed by some moans and footsteps along the corridor. Her body tenses immediately at the sudden rush of sounds.  
  
She stands and makes her way to the hallway leading to the bedrooms. She finds Bosco pushing his way into the washroom, stumbling towards the toilet.  
  
She follows quickly and turns on the light as she enters. He is leaning over the toilet heaving heavily. The strength of the contractions forces the food and liquid up through his mouth and nose.  
  
He falls onto his knees and grips the side of the bowl. Rose reaches over from behind and holds his forehead for support. The contractions and heaving continue long after his stomach has been emptied and between each one he gasps for air.  
  
She feels his body weaken as it begins to tremble uncontrollably. His gasps are punctuated by desperate moans as his arms fall limply to the floor.  
  
"Maurice?" Rose yells at him as she pulls him back into her. She feels his heart racing as she holds on to him. He tries to wrap his arms around himself but he's shaking so badly that he can't accomplish this simple task.  
  
"Maurice." Rose cries out hysterically as she lays him down on to the bathroom floor. She continues to call out to him as she takes hold of his face.  
  
"Maurice, stop this. You hear me? STOP." Rose takes him by the shoulders and shakes him roughly but when she sees that this has no effect on him she raises her hand and slaps him hard across the face, once, twice.  
  
His eyes shoot open and he looks up towards Rose in complete confusion.  
  
"Just breathe, Maurice." Rose encourages him as she tries to control her own breathing. "Breathe," she huffs out.  
  
She can see the effort he's putting into to following her instructions and this assures her that he's fully awake now.  
  
"That's it baby. Just breathe."  
  
Rose leans back against the wall, and wipes the hair and sweat off her forehead. Only the sharp intakes of breaths can be heard echoing around the room as she closes her eyes and prays for strength.  
  
TBC... 


	14. Crazy 14

Summary: My take on why Bosco and Sully don't get along. Takes place shortly after Bosco graduates from the Police Academy

Disclaimer: I don't own Third Watch or any of its characters.

A/N: This story was previously posted on another Third Watch site but no longer available there. I was encouraged to post it here by Joey and Orison.

Thanks for your wonderful reviews.

* * *

The pounding in my head is the first thing I feel as I emerge from the dark confines of sleep. I take a chance and open my eyes but this causes the pain to reverberate behind my eyes and down into my body. I will my hand to reach up and massage my temple.  
  
The quiet is broken by the muffled voices in the other room. It sounds like Ma. I think she's talking to Mikey. I rub my eyes and then press my palms into the sockets, hoping the pain will dissipate. It doesn't.  
  
I push the blanket off and roll to the edge of the bed. I swing my legs over and plant my feet on the carpet. I notice I'm wearing my old sweats. I don't remember how I got them on or how I got to bed after...last night.  
  
I rub the back of my neck. I feel sore all over like I've been sparring with someone for 10 rounds. The clock on the nightstand says 2:23 and although it's the middle of the afternoon, I feel like I could sleep until tomorrow morning.  
  
I need to use the washroom, so I push myself slowly off the bed. My legs feel wobbly and I hold on to the furniture for support. I approach the door and pull it open quietly.  
  
I stand in the hallway and listen.  
  
"I can't do this anymore." Ma says. I can hear the fear and anger in her tone of voice. "You get your brother to a doctor, or someone who can help him because I'm not doing this again."  
  
God, I think she's crying. I lean on the wall and lower my head in shame.  
  
"Ma, c'mon. It's gonna be okay. Please don't cry." Mikey pleads with her.  
  
"It's not okay and it hasn't been okay since he got back."  
  
I've heard enough so I head towards the washroom. I use the wall as a guide to help me keep my balance. I feel completely exhausted and drained. I enter the washroom and flip on the overhead light. I'm forced to squint at the brightness.  
  
After a few moments of adjusting, I peek at my reflection in the mirror. I don't like what I see so I avert my eyes quickly and turn on the tap so I can splash cold water on my face.  
  
I slowly realize how awful my mouth tastes and I grab the toothpaste and spread a little on my finger. I brush my teeth and mouth as best I can with this makeshift toothbrush.  
  
Finally, the moment of truth arrives and I move to use the head. I hold my breath as I wait for the shooting pain but this time it doesn't feel so bad. The doc was right; it's getting better already.  
  
I really need a shower, but I decide to wait because I better let Ma know that I'm still alive so, I shuffle back to the kitchen.  
  
"I found Steve's number in the papers over in the desk." Mikey says then pauses. I instinctively bring my head up at the sound of Stevie's name. "Ma, I called him. He's coming over."  
  
"Good. Maybe, he can get through to your brother because I can't."  
  
I decide to emerge from my hiding place and walk in on them.  
  
Mikey looks up at me and smiles weakly. "Hey bro. How you feeling? He says gently.  
  
I hate it when he treats me like I have cancer or something. "Like shit." I say and ease myself into a chair at the table.  
  
Mikey eyes Ma and me nervously, watching both of us to see who makes the first move.  
  
Ma gets up and puts her mug in the sink. I lift my eyes and steal glances at her while her back is turned. I decide it's easier to talk to her back, so I make the first move. "Ma, I'm sorry."  
  
She stiffens and then she turns the water on to wash the dishes in the sink. I know she's mad at me. Mikey peers over and gives me a sheepish grin.  
  
"Ma?" I ask hesitatingly.  
  
"Maurice, I don't wanna talk now. I'm too upset about all this." She has that I mean business edge in her voice.  
  
I don't want to argue with her if she doesn't wanna talk to me so I just mumble, "Okay."  
  
I turn towards Mikey. He fidgets nervously in his chair.  
  
"Who's coming?" I ask even though I know the answer.  
  
He shrugs slightly before flashing me a grin. "Mo..." he starts but doesn't continue.  
  
"Why'd you call him?" I ask seriously.  
  
"Maurice." Ma's says with some exasperation in her voice.  
  
"What?" I say without looking at her.  
  
"I asked Mikey to call Stevie and I invited him over for supper tonight."  
  
I know it's a lie and I know what she's up to and I feel my leg start to jiggle up and down nervously.  
  
Ma places her hands on the table, and leans in towards me. I start to sweat a little and I turn my head away. Mikey watches the both of us, his eyes darting from Ma to me, and back.  
  
"Now, you listen to me and you listen to me good, Maurice Louis. I'm not putting up with this anymore, you hear me? You get help, and you get yourself better, because the next time..." her voice catches and I have to close my eyes to avoid looking at her. "...next time is gonna be the end of me. You hear?"  
  
I nod my head because this is killing her and I don't want to hurt her anymore.  
  
I feel her eyes on me so I look back and I notice she's still staring at me. I can't look her in the eye because I know she can read me like a book and she probably thinks I'm just trying to appease her by keeping my mouth shut. Well, she's partially right, I just don't have the strength to argue with her.  
  
The room is unnervingly quiet.  
  
I chance a couple of sideways glances at her and I can tell she's getting madder by the way she wrings that dishcloth in her hands. I feel my nervousness rising because I can't make any promises to her, at least not what she wants to hear.  
  
She sighs loudly and I know she's thinking about what to do next. She straightens up and folds her arms. She's waiting for me to I look up at her. When I do, I see that her eyes are hard and angry and I know better than to look away, she wants my full attention.  
  
"If you don't get help, then don't bother coming back when you have a problem because all I'm gonna do is call 911 and have the paramedics come and pick you up," she says harshly.  
  
My eyes remain locked on hers even though I feel all my strength evaporating. I can feel my jaw clenching and my eyes watering but I won't let her see me cry. I won't give her that satisfaction.  
  
"Ma," Mikey whines, "don't say that."  
  
She turns away first and goes back to washing something in the sink. Mikey looks at me beseechingly, begging me to tell her what she wants to hear. But, I won't because I can't.  
  
There's nothing left to do or say so I get up and walk back to the bedroom. I can feel Mikey's eyes on me as he calls out to me. "Mo, c'mon. Come back and sit with us."  
  
But I don't bother to answer or look back as I enter the bedroom and close the door behind me. I crawl into the bed and reach over for the blankets. I pull them up over my head and all I think about is what about me. What about what I want?  
  
And all I know for sure is that I don't want to know about the dreams, I don't want to remember. Why can't anyone understand that?

* * *

Tick, tock, tick, tock...I try to focus all my attention on the sound of the clock as it counts down time, bringing me closer to the end of this charade.

Tick, tock, tick, tock...we all sit around the dinner table and play our parts, Ma the gracious hostess, Mikey the fun-loving younger brother, Stevie the grateful guest, and me...me the disinterested one.  
  
I'm barely listening to the superficial conversations going back and forth. All I can think of are the questions that everyone is dying to ask but can't bring themselves to speak.  
  
This whole thing makes me feel like a fly caught in a spider's web. Maybe, if I don't struggle, the spiders won't notice I'm here.  
  
I push the food in my plate from one side to the other, hoping it will somehow disappear in the process 'cause I don't need Ma getting on me about how much I'm eating or not eating.  
  
I'm staring at my food when I realize that the conversation has stopped and I sense all eyes on me. I look up into the expectant faces waiting for me to pronounce myself on something or other. "Uh...sorry...what was that?" I mutter.  
  
Ma takes the lead. "Steve wanted to know how you liked it at NYPD." Then she raises her eyebrows at me as a warning to answer politely.  
  
"Oh...it's..." I think about my answer. I can't be too enthusiastic or Ma will know I'm lying and I can't play it down 'cause then Stevie will know I'm lying. "...It's good, you know."  
  
"Yeah?" Stevie looks at me questioningly, wanting me to reassure him that I'm happy being a cop.  
  
I nod my head a few times. "Yeah, it's pretty interesting and I have a good partner. He's kinda senior so he knows a lot about policing...yeah, it's good..." I don't know what the hell they expect me to say.  
  
"Good." Stevie stares at me for a few seconds before he turns back to Mikey and asks him something about his work.  
  
I immediately zone out. I don't want to listen to this garbage. I let them play out their parts, it's the least I can do not to draw any attention to myself. 

------------------------------------------------  
  
"Don't you think you should check on him?" Faith asks me for the hundredth time since we started the shift. She's riding with me today since neither of us have partners for the day.  
  
I can feel myself making an annoyed face and I quickly try to relax so Faith doesn't see it. Yeah, I wanna check on him so I can ream him out for scaring the shit outta me last night. He didn't even bother calling me today to let me know he was okay.  
  
"He's at his mom's, Faith. He woulda called if he needed something." She's really starting to get on my nerves about Bosco. And trust me, the little bugger already frayed the few remaining nerves I have left.  
  
She eyes me for a second before she decides to take another approach. "Well, I'd feel better if we checked on him. Let's swing by his mom's and see how's he doing."  
  
I stare straight ahead and think about it. She's giving me a way out of my stubbornness and it'll be safer for him if there are other people around when I see him for the first time since the hospital. "Okay," I mumble gruffly.  
  
"Good." Faith lets out the breath she was holding and sinks back into the car seat. I honestly can't figure out who'll be more relived to see him, her or me.  
  
Faith gives me the directions to Mrs. Boscorelli's place and a few minutes later we pull up in front of her house. We both get out of the car and make our way to the entrance. I let Faith lead the way and until we're standing in front of the door. I knock lightly and wait.  
  
A familiar face peaks out when the door opens. Mrs. Boscorelli smiles when she sees me and Faith standing there. She pulls the door completely open and welcomes us both in. "John, Faith, what a nice surprise seeing you again. Please, won't you come in?"  
  
"Rose, it's so good to see you again." Faith says. I notice she calls Bosco's mom by her first name. They must know each other pretty well. Faith turns back slightly to look at me and continues. "We came to check on Bosco, see how he's doing."  
  
"Yes, of course. Maurice stepped out for a few minutes. I'm sure he'll be back soon. Do you want to wait for him?" Rose puts her hand on Faiths arm and tries to guide her in.  
  
"Um...we can't really stay Rose. We're on duty." Faith says gently.  
  
This seems to fluster Rose momentarily, the fact that she didn't realize we were on duty. "Uh...what was I thinking...I'm sorry. I'm sure Maurice would love to see you. He took a walk with a friend to the park over on 75th. You know the one Faith. Maybe, you can catch up to him. They only left a few minutes ago."  
  
She seems a little too eager to have us talk to Bosco. Her eyes convey a kind of quiet desperation that is begging us to look for him.  
  
"Mrs. Boscorelli...is he doing okay?" I ask because I don't know what, but she's keeping something from us.  
  
"John, please call me Rose," she says warmly.  
  
I nod my head and smile back at her.  
  
"You know Maurice, he doesn't complain if he's not feeling well..." She says to avoid answering the question.  
  
"Yeah, well we'll swing by the park and say hello to him," I say as I see the relief in her face when we offer to check up on him.  
  
"Alright, I'm sure he'll be happy to see you," she says gratefully.  
  
Somehow, I'm not too sure about that.  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------

"Damn, it's cold today," Steve, says as he jams his hands into his pockets.  
  
I nod my agreement but otherwise don't speak. I'll let him do the talking so I can try and figure out what Ma and Mikey told him.  
  
He motions to the park bench and I reluctantly move over to it and balance myself on the armrest. He tries to keep warm by stamping his feet into the ground and hunching into his jacket.  
  
He waits for me to say something but I'm not offering up anything. He looks around nervously before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a pack of cigarettes.  
  
"Need my fix," he says and grins sheepishly. He lights up the cigarette and he takes a long puff. I can see the satisfaction on his face as he blows the smoke up towards the sky. He looks back at me and offers me a drag. He knows I don't smoke anymore, but I take it and inhale deeply before handing it back to him.  
  
"I was always such a bad influence on you," he smiles wickedly and laughs. I can't help but admire him at times like this. With everything he's gone through, he can still laugh, another reason for me to feel even more ashamed of myself.  
  
I duck my head down but he doesn't let me off the hook.  
  
"Hey." He tilts his head and looks straight at me.  
  
"Stevie..." I begin but I don't quite know where to start. I look down at my feet hoping somehow I'll be inspired to say the right thing.  
  
"Bosco, it's okay," he says gently and offers me his cigarette again.  
  
I take it and visually inspect it as I roll it between my fingers. "How can you say that?" I say wearily and take another drag.  
  
"Bosco, just tell me." He watches me closely when a realization comes to him. "Did you remember something?" He whispers and steps closer.  
  
"Not really...you wouldn't understand, anyway."  
  
"I was there, remember?" He doesn't say it meanly just as a matter of fact.  
  
I start again. "My mom...she doesn't understand..." "Hey, she cares about you. She wants what's best for you."  
  
Stevie doesn't have to try and convince me of that. I know my mom loves me.  
  
I want to tell him but I can hardly put my own feelings into words. I start to stammer, "I-I can't remember anything and yet...everything reminds me...of something I can't remember...I don't know if that makes any sense." I say honestly.  
  
"How so?" He asks, genuinely concerned.  
  
I shake my head. "I don't know, but lately, I'm feeling...out of control...scared...and I don't know why. Sometimes, I drive by the river and I almost start to hyperventilate just looking at it. I don't know why I'm so afraid of the water. I never was before..."  
  
"What else?"  
  
"I don't know, I can't quite put my finger on it...anything can set me off...and I don't know why..." My voice is barely a whisper, I can hardly admit these things to myself, but Stevie's like a big brother to me and I know he won't tell anyone else.  
  
"You still having nightmares?" he asks, but I know my mom's briefed him on this already.  
  
"Yeah, but I can't remember a thing when I wake up."  
  
He takes another long drag of his cigarette and hands it back to me. "I see you still have that necklace." He points to my neck.  
  
I finger the solitary bead hanging from the small leather strap around by neck. I feel its smooth exterior and suddenly a tremor runs through me causing me to let go immediately.  
  
"Do you remember her?" Stevie asks.  
  
"Who?"  
  
We've never talked about what happened over there since we've been back. Stevie was in rehab for months before he could walk again and I couldn't remember jack so there wasn't much to talk about.  
  
"Squirt," he says with a smile that quickly dissipates into sadness.  
  
"Squirt," I repeat and shake my head. "Nah." My brain doesn't remember but my body disagrees as I feel my heart start to race.  
  
"She made the necklace for you. She was that kid from the village...you called her Squirt and you gave her your chocolate every time we went into that village." He smiles lightly then continues. "She would follow you around like a lost puppy. She had the most beautiful smile." Stevie says with a far away look in his eyes. "You even begged us for our rations of chocolate so you could sneak some in to her. That was just before..."  
  
"Stop." I yell out. "I don't want to hear anymore." I stand up quickly ready to move away. I toss the cigarette to the side and look down the street.  
  
"Whoa, Bosco," Stevie puts his hands up in front of me and holds me there. "We don't have to talk if you don't want too," he says as moves his hands onto my shoulders.  
  
I turn my head away from his gaze as I feel the nervousness taking over my body. I grab his arms and try to pull them off of me. "I think you should go Stevie. It's getting late and ...I gotta work tomorrow."  
  
Stevie releases me slowly. He watches me intently as he pulls out his pack of cigarettes. He opens the package, takes one and offers me one. I stare down at the cigarettes for a second before accepting his offer. 

Stevie lights my cigarette before puffing away on his as he continues to eye me. "Bosco, you can call me anytime. I mean it, anytime."  
  
"I'm sorry Stevie...I can't talk about it ..."  
  
I look up at him and see understanding in his eyes. "That's cool, Bosco. What ever you want is okay with me. Okay?" He smiles lightly.

I nod nervously. "Yeah, thanks," I mutter as I turn away from his prying eyes.  
  
TBC...


	15. Crazy 15

Summary: My take on why Bosco and Sully don't get along. Takes place shortly after Bosco graduates from the Police Academy

Disclaimer: I don't own Third Watch or any of its characters.

A/N: This story was previously posted on another Third Watch site but no longer available there. I was encouraged to post it here by Joey and Orison.

Thanks for your wonderful reviews.

* * *

I see my hand shaking as I bring the cigarette towards my mouth. I'd like to think it's due to the cold but I know better. I take a puff as I watch Stevie walk away and back towards the train station.  
  
As he disappears from view, I hope that I'll never see him again. I know this sounds terribly selfish especially after everything he's done for me.  
  
I met Stevie on my first day in the Rangers. We went through boot camp together and became inseparable. He was my only true friend in the unit. I don't think I would have lasted that long without him there.  
  
We served during several tours together but nothing could have prepared us for Somalia. Nothing.  
  
He was the only one who sat with me for five days while I was in that field hospital. He was the only one who got through to me while I lay in that bed unable to remember, unable to speak. He was the only one who spoke to my mom and reassured her I would be okay.  
  
And now, he's the last link I have to that godforsaken place. He's the one person who threatens to make the memories resurface even though he wasn't with me that day. No one was. No one knows what really happened.  
  
Ma means well but she doesn't understand. She doesn't understand why I don't want help, why I don't want to remember.  
  
Whatever happened back there is lost to my brain but not to my soul. The wound is so wide and so deep that it threatens to tear me apart. No one has any understanding of the depth of the darkness and the untold evil that I know will suffocate me if I'm forced to go back and remember.  
  
I look up from my trance when I notice 55 Charlie pulling up. "What the f-ck," I mutter out loud. I feel like I'm on 24-hour watch between the doctors, the nurses, my mom, Mikey, Stevie and now this.  
  
I get up and walk away quickly, hoping somehow I could just disappear into thin air, but no such luck. I hear Sully chasing after me.  
  
"Hey, Bosco. Hold up a minute." He jogs up beside me but I don't bother slowing down because we are not gonna have this conversation.  
  
"Hey, hold up. Faith and I wanted to say hello and see how you were doing," he pants.  
  
Fatso's got my attention now. I stop suddenly and turn to look for Faith. She's sitting in the RMP. She gives me a small wave and I nod back at her.  
  
I turn back to glower at Sully. "What?" I snap. Damn right I'm taking this out on him because he's definitely the last straw for me today.  
  
"Hey, what crawled up your ass and died?" He scowls at me angrily.  
  
"The whole f-ckin' world," I yell back.  
  
I feel like the entire street's gone silent and is staring at us. Pedestrians walking by give me a dirty look and I realize I'm in my civvies mouthing off to a police officer in uniform. I wouldn't blame Sully if he just threw me against a car and cuffed me for showing him up in front of everyone. I feel like an ass but I can't apologize because I'm wound too f-ckin' tight right now. I puff angrily at my cigarette as I try to melt into the puddle underneath my feet.  
  
Sully stares back at me and then his eyes widen as he remarks, "Hell, I'd be upset too if the whole f-ckin' world crawled up my ass and died."  
  
That line just kinda dissolves some of my anger. "What the f-ck do you want?" I half laugh at him because I find it impossible to keep a straight face.  
  
"I don't f-ckin' want anything from a skinny, little runt like you." Sully shoots back jokingly.  
  
I take one last, long drag and then toss the cigarette aside. An awkward silence replaces the banter between us.  
  
Sully shifts nervously but to his credit doesn't dare ask me how I'm doing.  
  
"You want a ride," he says as he watches me shaking from being out in the cold for the last half hour. "Faith's waiting in the RMP," he adds, knowing full well she's the bait that's gonna get me in there.  
  
"Yeah, sure," I say as I feel my teeth chatter lightly.

--------------------------------------  
  
Mikey picks up he phone on the second ring. "Hello," he says expectantly. He turns to Rose and nods his head yes as he covers the receiver and mouths 'Steve'. "How did it go?"  
  
Rose stands and approaches her youngest son. She crosses her arms across her chest and watches his every expression.  
  
His eyes dart back and forth from her face to some other point in the room as he listens carefully. "Does he remember?"  
  
Rose tenses at these words. She doesn't know whether to pray that Bosco recalls whatever he's suppressed or not.  
  
"Yeah, I understand." Mikey says softly and shakes his head slowly.  
  
Rose sighs and turns away. She knows that Steve couldn't get through to him. She sits back on the couch dejectedly.  
  
Mikey follows her with his eyes. "Okay. Thanks Steve. We'll keep in touch. Yeah, I know. Bye." He sets the receiver back in the cradle before walking up to his mother.  
  
"Ma, he says Mo's not ready yet...he didn't want to push him too hard today." He sits next to her and puts his hand over hers. "Ma, please...don't be like that. I'll do whatever it takes. Okay?"  
  
Rose turns and looks at him lovingly. She pats his hand appreciatively. "I know you will. You're such a good boy. You both are."  
  
--------------------------------------------

The ride feels endless and yet far too short. Even Faith's presence is of no consolation to me 'cause I don't feel like talkin' to anyone.  
  
We arrive in front of Ma's and Sully parks the RMP. He stares at me in the rear view mirror as I try to get my courage up to face Ma and Mikey.  
  
He raises his eyebrows questioningly at me as he reads my expression. "You wanna us to take you home. You look kinda tired."  
  
My silence causes Faith to turn around. She eyes me suspiciously but doesn't question me any further.  
  
"Ma's expectin' me... I better get going." I explain.  
  
Faith gets out of the RMP and then pulls open my door to let me out.  
  
"Thanks, Sul." I mutter before exiting the vehicle. He reminds me of Ma when he gives me one of his looks.  
  
"I'll see you tomorrow?" Faith asks as she stands beside me.  
  
"Yeah, sure."  
  
I turn and jog up the stairs although I'm in no hurry to get up there. I just want to get this whole thing over with.  
  
I knock lightly on the door. Mikey answers and looks relieved at seeing me here, as if he wasn't expecting me to on in..." he gestures for me to enter. "Ma, Mo's back," he shouts over his shoulder, towards the kitchen.  
  
All I hear is the water running, but she doesn't respond.  
  
"She probably didn't hear..." Mikey tries to cover for her.  
  
I just stand there, not sure if I should be here or not. I don't remove my jacket and I suddenly feel the urge to leave. I don't want to do this now. I turn back towards the door.  
  
"Mo...where you going?"  
  
I don't bother answering. No one wants to hear what I really want to say, they just wait for me to tell them what they wanna hear. But, it ain't gonna happen.  
  
Mikey quickly steps between the door and me, effectively blocking my escape route.  
  
"Mo, what is it?" He asks softly so Ma won't hear.  
  
"Didn't you get a report from your little spy?" I ask angrily.  
  
"Stevie's just trying to help," he says without backing away from me.  
  
"I don't remember asking for any help."  
  
"Maybe you didn't ask for any, but you sure needed it last night."  
  
I stare at him for a minute until he turns away. He didn't have to throw that back in my face.  
  
"Get out of my way." I say through clenched teeth. I feel the rage boiling up just below the surface.  
  
"Why are you doing this to Ma?" He asks trying to hit me where it hurts the most.  
  
"No, you tell me why you're doing this to me? Huh? Why are doing this to ME?" I shout, as I get right in his face. "You can't make me go back there. I won't...I can't...you can't make me remember..."  
  
"Mo, calm down, please, just calm down for a second. Alright?" Mikey stands his ground.  
  
"No, it's not alright. Don't you f-ckin' get it?" I feel my chest tightening and my head spinning. I'm having trouble controlling my breathing.  
  
"Maurice?" I hear Ma calling to me from a million miles away. "Maurice, don't talk to your brother like that. He's only trying to help."  
  
I turn to face her. "Well, you're not helping...no one here is helping me...I want you all to leave me the F-CK ALONE." I push Mikey aside and grab the door handle more for support than anything else. I feel my world narrowing as I struggle to get the door open.  
  
Nothing makes sense anymore. I don't know how to unlock the door. My hands fumble with the knobs until I give up and try to yank the door open on sheer force alone.  
  
My breaths come in small gasps as I feel the walls closing in on me. I can't seem to get enough air. I lean back against the door and grab Mikey's arm as he stands watching.  
  
"Open...it" I wheeze out. I feel trapped.  
  
I close my eyes to stop the spinning and I see them, the rebels. They're coming towards the village. I realize too late that my weapon is still in the jeep. I didn't think I would need it while I made a quick stop to drop off some chocolate for the kids. The bastards must have followed me. I grab the children and push them behind me. I should have never come back here. They're all in danger because of me.  
  
I open my eyes with a start and see Mikey staring down at me. His eyes wide, his face filled with concern. He looks at me and then across the room.  
  
"Let him go." Ma says to Mikey.  
  
I watch him as he turns the lock and removes the deadbolt. I swallow hard as I grab the door and swing it open. I run. I run as hard as I can and I don't look back.  
  
TBC... 


	16. Crazy 16

Summary: My take on why Bosco and Sully don't get along. Takes place shortly after Bosco graduates from the Police Academy

Disclaimer: I don't own Third Watch or any of its characters.

A/N: This story was previously posted on another Third Watch site but no longer available there. I was encouraged to post it here by Joey and Orison.

Thanks for your wonderful reviews.

* * *

I awake with a start, my arms shooting out and ramming into something solid on either side.  
  
"What the..." I mutter in confusion. My bed feels as hard as a rock; I don't remember it being this solid. I try to peel my eyes open but they feel weighed down by a thousand pounds.  
  
Then I hear it. Either the pounding is my head has increased one hundred fold or someone is knocking at my door.  
  
I open my eyes slowly and immediately notice the bright sunlight streaming into the living room. I turn my head and feel the kinks in my neck and back as well as the hardness beneath me. I reach up and feel the sofa to one side and the coffee table on the other. How the hell did I end up on the floor?  
  
I push myself up slowly as I hear more knocking.  
  
"Bosco, I know you're in there, open up."  
  
Shit, it's Sully. What the hell time is it anyway?  
  
"I'm..." I clear my throat and continue, "coming..."  
  
I pull myself up into a stooping position. My body feels like it is a hundred years old. That'll teach me to fall off the couch and sleep on the floor.  
  
I limp over to the door and open it. Before I can even get one word out Sully pushes his way into the apartment carrying a bag of something. Let me guess, donuts or Danishes.  
  
"Well it's about time," he huffs. He looks me over and gives me a disapproving look.  
  
I instinctively try to flatten my hair with my hands and look down at my rumpled clothes.  
  
"What are you doing here?" I ask more than a little confused.  
  
"Don't you wanna get back to work?" He says, astonished he had to ask.  
  
"What the hell kinda of question is that?" I reply annoyed. I scrub my face with my hands as I try to awaken completely.  
  
Sully peeks at the watch on his wrist and ignores my glib comment. "Well, it's just after eleven, so if you get your butt in gear we might get your clearance from the hospital before roll call."  
  
I can the feel the air leave my lungs. Damn, I forgot about that little piece of paper. Swersky is not going to let me pass GO without it this time.  
  
Sully sets the bag and a couple of cups of steaming coffee on my kitchen table. "I brought us breakfast." He says, a satisfied grin plastered on his face. "You wanna eat now or after your shower?"  
  
"After," I mumble before making my way to the washroom. I have a feeling this is gonna be a long day.  
  
----------------------------------------------

Getting the paperwork from the hospital was a breeze. I passed their 'brain test" with flying colours. Probably the only test I've ever passed without studying or cheating.  
  
We arrive at the station 30 minutes before roll call. Hell, I've never been this early unless you count the time I fixed the seat in the forward position in the RMP so Sully would let me drive.  
  
I bring the medical clearance form to the desk, while Sully goes upstairs to take care of some paperwork he didn't complete properly.  
  
The locker room is deserted as I drag my sorry ass to the sink. I still feel like I just woke up and I rub my neck and shoulders before splashing some cold water across my face.  
  
I straighten up uneasily and stare at my reflection in the mirror. Some of the images and feelings from last night come rushing back and I grab the sink as I take in some shaky breaths. I close my eyes and shake my head to erase the memories.  
  
I grab a paper towel and swipe at my face to dry it off. Then I move to my locker and try to focus on opening my lock.  
  
I tense when I feel someone move in behind me because I know it's not Sully, he would have said something to me.  
  
Suddenly, I'm pushed violently into the lockers and then pulled around. A forearm is pressed against my throat cutting off my air and holding me in place. I grab at the arm and try to pull it off.  
  
"So, you went crying to the Lieutenant about our little 'adventure' the other night?" Michaels says.  
  
He's right on top of me, giving me no room to manoeuvre. His knee is pressed against my legs and his arm is forcing my airway shut.  
  
All I can do is grunt in response.  
  
"You thought you were gonna get me into trouble. Didn't you?" Michaels yells and gives me another forceful push causing me to gag.  
  
I try to shake my head no, to explain it wasn't me, but I can't make a move either way.  
  
"You wanna go for a ride with me?" He cackles deviously. "There's no one here to help you, Boscorelli. Nowhere for you to hide."  
  
_Oh God, no. No..no..no...There's nowhere to hide. I push the children behind me. The rebels run our way, their weapons pointed towards us. They're shouting and yelling, but I don't understand a thing. The villagers rush out to see what's happening. The children cringe behind me. I back peddle as quickly as they'll allow me. __  
  
__The rebels are almost on top of me now. I hold up my hands in surrender. The children are screaming and crying. The air is filled with the sounds of terror; parents, children, rebels all shouting at one another, pleading, threatening, begging. __  
  
__"Don't hurt them," I yell but I have no idea if the rebels understand. I grab the children and push them away from me, towards their parents. They need to get away from me. I'm the one the rebels want. __  
  
__The crying and shouting dies down as the children are reunited with their parents. I stand alone, surrounded. I know all about the evil these rebels inflict on their victims. They don't care anything about conventions or treaties for prisoners or civilians. These rules don't apply to their world. __  
  
__I swallow hard, but my mouth is as dry as the desert landscape. I don't want to die. I don't want to die like this. I feel my heart racing with fear, thumping wildly within my chest. My panting breaths count down the remaining seconds of my life as they tick by slowly. __  
  
__One of the rebels approaches, laughing at me with his gap tooth smile, pointing his weapon between my eyes. He approaches and touches the barrel of the rifle to my forehead. My breath catches in my throat and every sensation in my body is heightened to an unbearable level as my life flashes before me. __  
  
__I close my eyes and for the first time in a long time, I pray. I begin to shake as I pray for the courage to face my destiny. I pray for Ma and Mikey. I pray for the villagers, they don't deserve this, no one does. __  
  
__I open my eyes when I feel my helmet being pushed off my head by the rifle. It falls to the ground and rolls a few feet to the left of me. I can see the pictures of Ma and Mikey taped to the inside of the helmet. As silly as it sounds, I don't want them to see me like this. __  
  
__The gap tooth rebel is eyeing me as he walks around me, sizing me up. He must be the leader. He shouts something for all to hear. __  
  
__No one makes a move. No one answers. My shaking intensifies as I realize I'm facing my executioner. I close my eyes again and am rewarded with a rifle butt across the face. __  
  
__I stumble forward and fall on my hands and knees. The blood comes gushing out of my mouth and nose. I watch my life flowing out of me and into the dusty ground. I'm mesmerized by the grotesque image formed by the mixture of blood and saliva on the earth. This is the land that will swallow me up, the last place I'll know before I die. I shudder violently at this thought. __  
  
__The leader yells at me, when I look up at him he kicks me in the ribs causing me to topple over onto my side. I suck in some air but it gets mixed with the blood causing me to choke. __  
  
__I hear the whimpering of the children as they are forced to watch. I look towards the villagers, their eyes wide and fearful, their hands clutching their children closer to them. __  
  
__I pick myself up slowly and attempt to stand up. I stumble from the dizziness and I blink my eyes to clear my head before I make it up into a standing position. I turn to face the lead rebel. Every breath intensifies my fear but I have to face this head on. __  
  
__My voice sounds so far away and I falter as I begin..."My name...is Maurice Louis Boscorelli. I am a Ranger...I am a Ranger in the United States Army, number 239..." Another rifle butt to the back of the head interrupts me and I fall forward one more time. __  
  
__When I open my eyes again, the world is tipped over on its side. My cheek is pressed against the soft earth; the fine dust invades my nostrils and mouth as I try to steady my breathing. There is a constant ringing in my ears and I feel something wet and sticky running down my neck. I try to reach up to touch it but my arm is yanked back. I'm kicked several times and I gasp for air like a fish out of water. They yell at me but I can't make myself stand so I'm hauled up to my knees and held there. __  
  
__As I struggle to breathe, the other rebels pick at the items on my jacket like vultures on a carcass. They remove my belt, the extra ammo, my knife, and anything else they can get their hands on. __  
  
__The leader turns towards me. The rest of the rebels step aside as he approaches. He leans forward and continues his litany of shouting mere inches from my face. He must be explaining my crimes and possibly my punishment. __  
  
__When he's done, the rebels begin to laugh, they're all laughing at me. I blink my eyes into focus and look towards the villagers. Not one of them has the courage to look at me. Their faces are like stone, their eyes downcast; they know... __  
  
__The leader leans down and grabs a handful of dirt and lets it fall from between his fingers. He's trying to make me understand, but I don't. He laughs, his gap tooth laugh and then swings his rifle, allowing it to connect forcefully with the side of my head. __  
  
__I see an explosion of colour as I hit the ground. Their laughter echoes in my ears as I feel someone untie and remove my boots. All I can think of is that I'm not even dead and their taking my boots. More shouts by the leader and I feel myself being dragged towards a rushing sound. __  
  
__I look for the source of the sound and realize it is water. I've been brought next to the river. In reality it's not much of a river, about 50 feet wide and 2 feet deep, flowing lazily from a nearby mountain. __  
  
__My mind is racing; why are they gonna shoot me in the river? The leader comes back and shows me another handful of earth, laughs and points to the water. Suddenly, I understand the irony of my situation; I'm going to drown in one of the driest places on earth. __  
  
__I can hardly contain my hatred for his gap tooth face. "F-ckin' bastard." I yell at the top of my lungs. __  
  
__I struggle to get to my feet because I'd rather get shot in the back than this. The rebels are on me instantly. I fight back desperately against their numbers, but they easily overpower me. I'm pulled into the river and forced to a kneeling position. They hold my head mere inches from the flowing water. __  
  
__I stare down into the murky river. It might as well be 600 feet deep. I'm not getting out of here alive. I push back against the hands that hold me to face my grave. __  
  
__The leader kneels down next to me and speaks with a calm soothing voice that I can barely make out above the sound of my laboured breathing. Then he gently grabs the back if my head, almost as if caressing me. Maybe, he just wants to scare me, maybe he doesn't mean to do this. Every sound and sensation intensifies as I wait, but any semblance of hope is replaced by terror as he forces my head below the water. __  
  
__I feel myself scream as my face is pushed into the bottom of the riverbed. Silt and mud fill my mouth and mix with the water rushing down my throat. __  
  
__My screaming intensifies, but only in my mind. My world goes black, then white and all I can feel is that bastard's hand on my neck. I swallow murky, mud filled water and choke violently as I try to will my body to stop trying to breathe. __  
_  
"You better tell Lieu that you made a mistake and take back everything you said about me." Michaels says menacingly.  
  
I feel my strength fade and my vision blur. My wheezing must scare him because he lets go of me and I fall to the ground. My hands automatically grab for my throat and I hear myself gasping for air as beads of sweat roll down my face.  
  
My emotions are in turmoil, terror and anger battle to rise to the surface.  
  
I claw my way up to a standing position and allow fury to take over. I rush at Michaels and knock him back into the lockers. I let my arms flail away at him, not caring if I connect or not.  
  
Almost instantly, arms grab me and pull me back. Two, four, strong arms hold me tightly as I continue to lash out. I'm beyond reason at this point and I can't see or speak.  
  
I hear Michaels shouting. "He's crazy. You see what he did to me? You better keep him on a sort leash, Sullivan."  
  
Someone holds me from behind, wrapping his arms around me, not allowing me to move. I struggle to escape my captors. I can hear my grunts as I try to get away.  
  
"Bosco, calm down." He says in a soothing voice.  
  
I look back expecting to see Sully, but all I see is a gap tooth smile and I panic again. I desperately twist my way out of this hold and back up into the lockers.  
  
I wrap my arms around myself but I can't bear to look. My eyes are shut tightly and I find it hard to breathe.  
  
"Bosco?"  
  
I peek out at the sound of my name. It's Sully and Grady. I stand there, my breathing wild and heavy. Sully stares at me, his hands out in front of him as if trying to contain a wild animal.  
  
I swallow all the air I can get as I struggle to get my bearings. I can't stay here.  
  
I hold on to the lockers for support as I back away from them. I stumble towards the washrooms and crash into one of the doors, slamming it back as I enter the stall. I slump down onto the toilet and wrap my arms around myself to help slow down my breathing and my heart rate.  
  
"I'm not crazy. I'm not..." I repeat to myself as I rock back and forth slowly.  
  
TBC... 


	17. Crazy 17

I apologize to all those who may have been blocked from submitting a review because I had one of my settings set incorrectly. You should be able to review without logging in.

Summary: My take on why Bosco and Sully don't get along. Takes place shortly after Bosco graduates from the Police Academy

Disclaimer: I don't own Third Watch or any of its characters.

A/N: This story was previously posted on another Third Watch site but no longer available there. I was encouraged to post it here by Joey and Orison.

Thanks for your wonderful reviews.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The locker room is bathed in silence again after the symphony of bantering and locker slamming that took place just a few minutes ago. Everyone who was in the room has left and gone to roll call.  
  
I try to give Bosco some space, so I wait in the locker room while he's still hiding in that stall. I peek down to make sure I can still see his feet below the door.  
  
I'm actually in no hurry to get him outta there 'cause I've made up my mind that this is gonna end today, and I have no problem waiting as long as I need to make that happen. As for Michaels, I don't bother going after him now, there'll be time for that later.  
  
I check my watch and assume we missed roll call but I don't care.  
  
I move over and sit on the bench and try to estimate how long Bosco and I are gonna play this game of cat and mouse. I know how stubborn the kid can be but he's not gonna outlast me today.  
  
I lean back and make myself comfortable, dipping my chin just so I have a clear view of his feet. The minutes tick by slowly, quietly. He doesn't move, doesn't make a sound. He's never been this still before.  
  
The locker room door swings open and Swersky stands in the entrance. He doesn't need to say anything; I can see the anger in his eyes.  
  
He follows my line of vision as I stare back at the washroom. He enters the room and strides over to the stalls.  
  
"Boscorelli, I need to see you in my office," he says without hesitation and then turns to leave without waiting for a response.  
  
He shoots me a warning look as he walks by.  
  
"We'll be right there, Lieu," I reply.  
  
He steps out and I watch the door close behind him. I get up from my spot and walk over towards Bosco.  
  
I lean against the stall door and listen for any sound or movement. The kid hasn't said boo since he's been in there and it doesn't look like he ready to come out just yet.  
  
I need to think about my strategy. Let me see, there's nothing these military guys hate more than insubordination.  
  
"Bosco - Lieu's not gonna stand for you disregarding his order. It won't look good if you have a report of insubordination on your file."  
  
Silence, nothing...hhhummm, okay I know, if I cover for him, it'll drive him nuts.  
  
"Fine, have it your way. If you don't come out of there, I'll go to the office and tell Lieu what happened." I pause and listen. "I'll tell him I walked in as Michaels was throwing a punch and you had no choice but to defend yourself."  
  
I wait for his reaction. Nothing still. I bend over and look below the door. Yup, he's still in there, he hasn't disappeared on me yet.  
  
I sigh as I realize how stubborn he's gonna be about this. I can't let him think that there's a way out. I walk back to the bench and sit down heavily.  
  
"I can wait here all day, Bosco," I holler. "It's up to you."  
  
--------------------------------------------------  
  
The blank paper stares back at me, taunting me.  
  
I don't know how long I've been here, maybe hours. I play nervously with the pen and then close my eyes. The pounding in my head returns matching the steady beat of my heart.  
  
I sit alone as I try to keep the images away...the images that have taken over my brain. I try to think about something else, anything else, even Sully and Swersky...they mean well, but they don't know...they think they can make it all better, but no one can, it's too late for that.  
  
A chill runs through me as I remember that gap tooth smile laughing at me. I open my eyes to find Sully placing a cup of coffee next to me. I didn't hear him coming in. I must have zoned out for a while. He looks down at the paper and grabs it.  
  
I see the annoyance and frustration in his eyes but he doesn't say anything. He just stares at it, trying to think of something to say that won't completely piss me off. He doesn't understand that I'm just so numb right now that I doubt he could make me feel anything.  
  
"Bosco, this is not gonna cut it with Lieu," he says. He glances over at me then softens his tone. "Just tell me what happened and I'll write it down for you."  
  
When I refuse to speak he begins to question me. "Did he threaten you?"  
  
I turn away from him because what I really want to say is 'no he didn't threaten me, that gap tooth bastard tried to kill me.'  
  
"Did he touch you?" Sully asks guiltily.  
  
I feel the skin on the back of my neck begin to crawl as I remember the feel of the gap tooth's hand on me. I scrub at the area to try and erase the sensation.  
  
He looks worried as he stares at the sheet. "Bosco. What does this mean?" He asks as he pushes the paper towards me.  
  
I see the words scribbled on the page as I pull it closer to me, but I don't remember writing anything down. The room seems to fade away as I stare at the sheet. The words become larger and larger until they seem to scream out at me as I read my shaky handwriting.  
  
_WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM?_  
  
_WHY DID THEY LET ME LIVE?_  
  
I keep going over and over the questions until the search for the answers becomes unrelenting and I feel the room begin to spin. I grab the edge of the table with one hand and crumple the paper with the other.  
  
Sully clears his throat. "Alright then," he says encouragingly, "we'll start over and give Lieu something that makes sense."  
  
I suddenly feel the need to get this over with as quickly as possible. The walls, the questions, the images are overrunning my brain and I have to get out of here. I slowly push the pen towards Sully. He's surprised by my gesture but he takes it gratefully and grabs another piece of paper.  
  
I lean forward and look at the blank page staring back at both of us.  
  
Sully straightens up in his chair, poised and ready to write. "Okay, go ahead," he says eagerly.

I feel my leg start to bounce as I begin.  
------------------------------------------------------

I don't remember the rest of the shift or how I got here. But I sure as hell know what I'm doing here now. I reach for the next shot and down it quickly. Sully, Grady and Faith are standing right by me at the bar but they could be a million miles away for all I care.  
  
The only constant, from the moment we were dismissed from Swersky's office, has been the incessant questions floating in my mind, gnawing at me, trying to tear holes through me. _What happened to them? Why did they let me live?_ For the life of me, I can't figure out the answers, can't make myself remember what happened. Part of me doesn't want to but another part of me desperately needs to know.  
  
The bartender places another shot in front of me and I wonder how many drinks it's gonna take for my mind to go as numb as the rest of me.  
  
The next three shots come and go in a blur of noise, smoke and watchful glances from my three bodyguards. I fear my steady intake of alcohol is not having the desired effect and instead of allowing me to forget, it prompts me to keep searching for the answers until not knowing becomes unbearable.  
  
I fish into my pockets and find some change. I get up shakily and make my way towards the washrooms to look for a pay phone. I spot one that's free; I get my courage up and approach it. I push the coin into the slot and dial.  
  
"Hello," says a sleepy voice on the other end.  
  
I pause, but not for long. The alcohol has fortified my resolve for this sort of thing.  
  
"Hi, Stevie...it's me...Bosco."  
  
I can hear him reaching out for something, maybe his watch before continuing. "Bosco, where are you?"  
  
"Uh...in a bar..."  
  
"Are you alone?" He questions.  
  
"Yeah..." I say without thinking because I feel utterly alone, "I mean no..." I correct myself quickly.  
  
"Are you okay?" I can hear him rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.  
  
He knows there's only one reason why I would call and I don't have the patience to beat around the bush. "Stevie...you have to tell me what happened. What happened to the people...the people from the village?"  
  
He doesn't answer, he's thinking about what to say. "Bosco, why don't we get together tomorrow and talk about it then."  
  
"Stevie, please...please just tell me what happened..." I'm not beyond begging at this point 'cause I don't think I'll make it until tomorrow.  
  
"Bosco, why do you need to know?" he asks concerned.  
  
"Stevie...don't do this now...I just need to know...please...tell me..." I sound desperate even to my own ears, and I can imagine what Stevie's thinking, me calling him from a bar in the middle of the night.  
  
"Where are you?" He asks. When I don't answer he takes my hesitation as a sign of distrust and quickly adds, "I'll come."  
  
In reality, I don't answer because I'm not sure where I am at this very moment and I have to search my brain.  
  
"Haggerty's. It's on King...just north... of Arthur." I feel a knot forming in the pit of my stomach. I'm closer to the truth now than I've ever been before.  
  
"Okay. Just wait for me there. Can you do that?" Stevie asks to make sure that I'm not gonna bolt.  
  
"I'm not going anywhere." I tell him and hang up.  
  
---------------------------------------------

From the corner of my eye I see Sully signal to the bartender. He thinks I've had enough to drink but I'm not even close to where I need to be.  
  
Grady took Faith home a little while ago and I've been sitting here working on my blood alcohol level for the last 30 minutes.  
  
"Bosco, you did the right thing." Sully says as leans in. "Don't worry about those bozos. They deserve what's coming to them. They're lucky, it could've been worse."  
  
Sully tries hard to make me feel better about the report, but I don't. I think he understands why I refused to press charges. He eyes me before continuing, "ready to head out?"  
  
I shake my head slowly. "No, but you go 'head. I'll see you tomorrow." I mutter.  
  
"It's okay, I'll wait for you." He says tactfully. He doesn't trust me to get myself home in one piece.  
  
"I'm waitin' for someone."  
  
His eyes narrow suspiciously. I can tell he doesn't believe me. "It's okay. I'll wait for you," he insists.  
  
When I don't fight him, he stands there not knowing what to say.  
  
I try to order another shot but the bartender shakes his head no and offers me a soft drink instead, which I decline.  
  
Thankfully, I manage to make Sully so uncomfortable around me that he moves to the end of the bar to retell some lame joke to a fellow officer. That's when I see Stevie walking in.  
  
I get up and wind my way towards him. When he sees me, he nods his head and eyes me before speaking. "Bosco, you wanna sit over there." He motions to an empty booth near the back.  
  
It really makes no difference to me at this point. We make our way over to the booth and settle in. An awkward silence hangs over us. My leg starts to bounce nervously and I'm glad Stevie can't see it.  
  
I start tentatively. "Stevie...you gotta tell me what you know...'bout what happened to those villagers."  
  
He pulls out his pack of cigarettes and offers me one. I take it and then he takes one for himself. "Why do you need to know now Bosco? Tell me what happened?"  
  
He flicks his lighter and we both light our cigarettes. I inhale deeply and blow the smoke away from us.  
  
"Nothing happened." I say angrily. "Just f-ckin' tell me already." I rub my hand against my leg in an effort to slow it down.  
  
Stevie doesn't lose his cool with me. "Okay, but there isn't much to tell."  
  
"Don't lie to me, Stevie. I really need this," I hear the edge in my voice and I can tell by Stevie's expression that he feels the urgency in my words too.  
  
He starts slowly, eyeing me between each sentence, gauging my stability. "You left camp that morning headed for the airport. You were only supposed to be gone for a couple of hours." He puffs on his cigarette and flicks the ashes into the ashtray. "You went by yourself because we were short staffed due to the training exercises and the patrols we were conducting that morning. You never made it there," he whispers softly and turns away, staring at something beyond the walls of this booth.  
  
After a few moments of puffing away on his cigarette, he composes himself enough to continue. "We got a call at about 15:30, asking us when you were gonna show up to pick up the supplies."  
  
Stevie stares down at the embers on his cigarette. "You should have never gone by yourself," he mumbles awkwardly.  
  
"Go on," I croak out. I could use about 100 more shots to wash down the lump in my throat that threatens to choke me. Stevie doesn't seem to notice my nervousness; he's lost in his own guilty memories.  
  
"We flew over the area where you would have travelled. I knew something was wrong when we found the village burned to the ground and no one there."  
  
"Where were they?" I ask apprehensively.  
  
He looks up at me. "There was no one there." He sees the unspoken question in my eyes. "There was no one there...and there were no bodies. They must have all escaped as the rebels advanced on the village."  
  
I close my eyes and feel myself shiver because my memory of the event tells me otherwise. I know - I know the villagers were there when the rebels arrived. I look back up at Stevie. "Are you sure about the bodies?"  
  
"As sure as I can be from 150 feet in the air. I swear Bosco, I didn't see any bodies." He leans in closer. "I didn't see any bodies," he repeats emphatically.  
  
I want to believe. I want to believe him but his words don't calm me, don't reassure me, and don't stop the feeling of dread descending down upon me.  
  
TBC...


	18. Crazy 18

Summary: My take on why Bosco and Sully don't get along. Takes place shortly after Bosco graduates from the Police Academy

Disclaimer: I don't own Third Watch or any of its characters.

A/N: This story was previously posted on another Third Watch site but no longer available there. I was encouraged to post it here by Joey and Orison.

Thanks for your wonderful reviews.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sully spots me as I lift weights. "C'mon little man. You can do it - one more."  
  
I look up at his upside grin as I strain to lift the bar over my head. He knows I hate it when he calls me 'little man'. I'll show him. I push hard, I can feel the muscles in my arms shaking as I bite down on my lower lip. I huff as I put all my effort in getting the bar all the way up.  
  
Sully smiles down at me as he grabs it and guides it into the holder. "A new Boscorelli record," he beams proudly.  
  
I allow my arms to fall to the side, as I lie there spent. "Your...turn...dough boy." I pant at him.  
  
For the last month or so, Sully and I have been working out everyday before our shift. He comes over and picks me up. We grab a bite to eat and then head for the gym.  
  
Sully thought I needed more physical activity to use up all my excess energy; I guess I was starting to drive him crazy again. I told him I would do it on the condition that he joins me. He didn't realize how hard I would be on him. And it seems to be paying off; he looks like he's lost 10 pounds already.  
  
It's his turn on the bar so I spot him. I have my back to the door so I don't notice who walks into the gym.  
  
"Boys, I'm baaack." I feel the hair on my neck rise as I hear Michaels call out to his friends.  
  
There's a brief smattering of talk before the room falls silent. I can feel his eyes on me. I exhale slowly, trying to stay in control.  
  
"Well, well, well, if it isn't rat boy," his voice is dripping with contempt.  
  
Sully replaces the bar and sits up quickly as I turn to face Michaels.  
  
"What the hell do you want?" Sully spits out.  
  
"Oh, seeing it's my first day back after my suspension, I wanted to see how my friend here was doin'," he says hatefully, his eyes burning holes through me.  
  
Sully moves in between the two of us. "Are you lookin' for another suspension, moron?"  
  
Michaels doesn't back away. "Well, I know I can count on rat boy to go cryin' to Lieu if I hurt his feelings." He sticks out his lower lip in an exaggerated pout and makes a face like he's about to cry. He turns and laughs at his cronies. "Boscorelli, you gonna stop hidin' behind your partner and Lieu and stand up like a real man," he says mockingly.   
  
"You mean a real man like you. It took two of you to take me on last time," I say calmly.  
  
His laughter stops suddenly and he narrows his eyes menacingly. "How about we settle this once and for all, man to man, one on one?"   
  
"Fine with me." I glare back at him without flinching.  
  
He motions to the boxing ring in the corner.  
  
"Pick on someone your own size, Michaels." Sully replies.  
  
I feel the heat rising in my cheeks at Sully's comments because Maurice Boscorelli doesn't back down from anyone.  
  
"How about tonight, after the shift." I say.  
  
Sully spins around to face me; his eyes speak volumes. He doesn't want me to go through with this but I'm not afraid of this idiot and I'm not gonna let Michaels question my manhood in front of the rest of these jerks and get away with it.  
  
"Hear that boys?' He turns towards his cronies. "Come and watch, 'cause tonight, I'm gonna teach this rat a lesson."   
  
-----------------------------------------  
  
"Grady, talk to him." Sully says imploringly as we sit at the counter for our dinner break.

Sully's been trying to talk me out of this boxing match since we got into the RMP.  
  
"Bosco, you don't have to do it. It isn't a fair fight." Grady says.  
  
I glare back at him defensively. "Yeah, it's not fair 'cause I'm gonna bash his brains in."  
  
"See what I have to deal with." Sully throws his hands in the air in frustration.  
  
Grady takes another crack at it. "Bosco, they guy has about 5 inches and 60 pounds on you."   
  
"More like 3 inches and 70 pounds," I mutter. "Any way, I've taken on bigger guys," Sully looks at me incredulously, "and won," I add triumphantly.  
  
"Won what?" Faith chimes in as she spots us.  
  
"Fights – Epic battles of the fist." I announce.  
  
"Oh...am I interrupting a meeting of the macho boy's club." She says as she rolls her eyes.  
  
"No. Bosco here is gonna take on Michaels in a boxing match tonight after the shift." Sully huffs irately.  
  
"Yeah, that's what I said," she quips, "the macho boy's club. So what's the big deal?"  
  
"There, finally, someone on my side." I put my hand up to high five her, but she ignores me as she scrunches her face in irritation.  
  
"Uh, uh, I'm not on your side. I just mean, you guys are gonna use each other as punching bags, then you'll go drinking and carousing and eventually you'll go home happy and all will be right with the world again."  
  
"And what's wrong with that?" I ask stupidly.  
  
"Nothing. That's the way it's always been, and apparently, that's the way it's gonna be tonight." She picks at the fries on my plate.   
  
"Are you gonna come and watch?" I ask hopefully.  
  
"What you beating up Michael's?" Faith winks at me. "Wouldn't miss it for the world."   
  
---------------------------------------------

The gym fills with officers from our watch. I'm pretty sure Michaels advertised his anticipated victory during the shift today and invited everyone to come and see the show. He even got a couple of the bucket boys from across the street to come.  
  
Sully laces up my gloves and straightens my headgear as I watch Michaels step into the ring with his 'entourage', including Giambetti. Michaels lifts his arms in mock victory and hops on the balls of his feet to show me he's ready to go.  
  
"Keep your hands up, you hear?" Sully looks like he's about to cry.   
  
"Sully, really I'm gonna be okay. You need to worry about Michaels."  
  
"He sure is a cocky like SOB, isn't he?" Grady adds from behind. We both turn and glare at him.  
  
"Hey, can I get a little support here from my own corner." I say exasperated.   
  
I see Faith waving as she takes a seat behind my corner. "Bosco. Whoop his ass," she hollers.  
  
I turn back with a grin on my face and throw Faith's remark back in Sully's face. "At least someone believes in me."  
  
He glares at me with a look of hurt in his eyes. "She's not the only one...I...just ...nothing." He fiddles with the laces on my gloves.   
  
I didn't mean for Sully to take it that way and I lower my eyes and stare at my gloves to avoid the hurt look in his eyes. I pound my gloves together to test them out and I'm glad Sully's on my side and just looking out for me. "You did them up perfectly Sul. Thanks."  
  
"Boxers to the center," bellows Washington. He's gonna officiate the match for us.  
  
Sully, Michaels, Giambetti and myself make our way to the middle of the ring.  
  
"Alright gentlemen, there will be three, three minutes rounds." Washington holds up three fingers on each hand and waves them at us for effect. "I want you to fight fair. No punches to the back of the head, no hitting when the opponent is down, no hitting below the belt. You'll go to a neutral corner if there is a count and you will break when I tell you to do so. Any questions?" He looks at each of us in turn, but no one makes a sound.  
  
"Alright, good luck to both of you. Touch gloves."  
  
Michaels pounds his gloves into mine. "Hey rat boy, do you want me to call the medics now, or after I beat you to a pulp."  
  
"You know what?" I smile back at him. "You better do it now 'cause it'll be kinda hard for you to dial when you're kissin' my ass."  
  
Michaels lunges at me, and suddenly the four of us are wrapped up in a loveless embrace. Washington pushes his way in between and shoves us towards our respective corners. "Break it up, you morons," he yells as the crowd hollers.  
  
Sully grabs me by the arm and hauls me back to my corner. I twist my head around to keep my eye on Michaels.  
  
"I swear, I've never seen anyone piss people off as much as you," he says.  
  
"What can I say, it's a gift. Anyway, he started it," I whine.  
  
Sully gives me the same look my mom gives me when I say something stupid.   
  
"Okay, focus Bosco." He directs my gaze back to him. "Alright, remember, keep your hands up. He's bigger, but you're faster. Don't let him get on top of you or grab you. He's gonna try to tire you out. Keep moving and you'll be okay." He gives me a nod and secures my mouth guard for me.  
  
I look back at Faith and Grady; both are smiling and shouting out encouragements.  
  
I hear the bell sound to announce the start of the match.  
  
We approach each other warily, dancing gingerly on the balls of our feet. I try to heed Sully's words to keep moving 'cause I know Michaels is gonna pound me if I try to go toe to toe with him.  
  
I throw a couple of jabs and Michaels lands some glancing blows but neither of us wants to open up this early in the match.  
  
"Maybe I should call you 'chicken boy' Boscorelli, you gonna dance all night, or are you gonna fight," he mumbles through his mouth guard.   
  
He lunges at me and grabs my arms. We stumble into the ropes.  
  
"Hey Michaels, you better go back to your corner and change your shorts, I think I smell crap in them." I mumble back at him.  
  
He grunts and tries to connect with a wide swing. I duck down and punch him in the gut. He doubles over and I move in ready with another punch. I hit him with a left jab before he gets his gloves up and blocks a couple of punches.  
  
"C'mon big man... show me what you got." I taunt him.  
  
He straightens up and I can hear Sully shouting from the corner "Stop yapping, keep moving." I look back and see Sully motioning for me to keep my gloves up.  
  
I feel the perspiration dripping off me already. I move around in a semi-circle to try and keep Michaels away from me. He fakes a few moves and gets close enough to push me into the corner and throw his weight on me, pinning me. I strain against him, unable to move.  
  
"Hey ref, break it up," Sully hollers. The crowd voices their opinion too as Washington moves in.  
  
Michaels shoves me harder into the corner and takes a few cheap shots, hitting me while pinning my arms with his body. I'm momentarily stunned but Washington intervenes before Michaels can cause any real damage.  
  
I straighten my headgear and move out of the corner slowly. Hell, I'm already feeling tired so I can imagine what that outta shape fat ass is feeling. I approach him slowly. This might be a good time to attack. I duck and fake until I see an opening and connect with a left-right combination. Michaels staggers back into the ropes and holds on to them for support. I move in quickly and land a few more punches. He swings wildly and misses but connects on his the follow through punch, a left jab.  
  
I stumble backwards into the corner and fat boy decides to try and flatten me. Again he throws all of his weight into me. I grunt with the effort of trying to push him off and keep myself covered in case he tries the cheap shots again. Fat boy doesn't move until the ref pulls him off of me.  
  
My gloves are starting to feel 20 pounds heavier than when we started the match, and I'm panting from the effort of trying to move that elephant.  
  
We square off again in the center of the ring, eyeing each other, looking for any weaknesses. I decide to make a move when Michaels least expects it. I step forward and straight in on him. I swing and jab until I start to connect, once twice, three times.  
  
The crowd is on its feet, shouting, and jeering as the round comes to an end.  
  
I raise my arm up as I walk back to my corner. I hear the crowd gasp and I turn in time to see Michaels running full throttle towards me. I brace for impact as he tackles me to the mat.  
  
Sully, Giambetti and Washington all jump in to try and separate us as we roll around on the floor.  
  
"That's enough." Washington shouts. He lifts me by the trunks and shoves me towards my corner. He warns Michaels to head over to his.  
  
I drop down heavily on the stool as Sully removes my mouth guard and pours water over my head and into my mouth. Grady stands before me, waving a towel to cool me off.  
  
"Did...you ...see ...what ...he did?" I wheeze out.  
  
"Don't talk, Bosco. Just take some deep breaths." Sully rinses out my mouth guard. "He's trying to tire you out by throwing his weight around. Try not to get caught in the corners."   
  
"Easier...said...than...done." I huff.  
  
"Hey – hey," Sully waits to get my attention, "you're doing a great job. You should've seen the look on his face when you got him the last time."  
  
"Told...you...I ...could...take ...his fat ass."  
  
"Damn right you can," Sully shouts confidently.  
  
The bell rings to announce round two. Sully shoves the mouth guard into my mouth and hurriedly exits the ring. Michaels is already half way across and he looks pretty pissed.  
  
I jump up quickly and dance to my left. He advances straight on as I continue to move away from him. I stop and move in the other direction, he comes on strong and instead of swinging, he reaches out to shove me hard. I stumble backwards. I see him lunging at me and I try to twist away but I fall and fat boy falls on top of me.  
  
Shit, it feels like I've got a truck sitting on me. He reaches out, grabs my head and tries to ram it into the mat as I lie helplessly beneath him.  
  
"Hey ref, this is boxing not wrestling," I hear Sully shouting.  
  
"Michaels I'm warning you," Washington tells him as he pulls him off of me.   
  
I lie there stunned, sore and breathless before getting on all fours and holding on to the ropes to get myself up.  
  
I can hardly breathe but I can't help shouting to Michaels. "Is...that the...best...you...can ...do? Try to kill...me with ...your lard ass."  
  
"You tell him, Bosco." Faith shouts. I can't help but smile.  
  
We both face off in the middle of the ring. I swipe at the perspiration dripping into my eyes and I watch as Michaels huffs with every move. I try to keep moving and keep my hands up. Michaels maintains his position, trying to save his strength. If I don't get him moving again, he's gonna get his second wind.  
  
He stops and stands still. "Come get... some of this..." he punches his gloves together, "...rat boy."  
  
"Come over here...and... give me some." I sneer as I motion for him to advance.  
  
He moves in towards me and throws a couple of jabs; I manage to bob and duck away from them. He reaches out and fakes me out with a right and then connects with a left, square on my nose. I feel my eyes water and blood trickling down through my nostrils. I stumble slightly but manage to get away from him.  
  
Washington grabs my head and looks me over. "I'm...fine." I huff as I push his hands away. I swipe at blood dribbling down my face.  
  
The crowd gets excited at the site of the blood and so does Michaels. He redoubles his efforts to get to me. I back away and circle to my left. I find it harder to breathe, so I suck in air through my mouth. I continue to swipe at my face as the blood drips faster and faster. I see a red stain developing on my top.  
  
Michaels starts to swing wildly, feeling that he's got the upper hand. I keep back peddling away from him. Soon I feel like I'm running outta air and outta room. Michaels sees his opportunity as I tire considerably. He doesn't waste any time and he comes at me fast and hard. He doesn't swing but grabs a hold of me. I struggle to get him off. I have both my arms up to protect my face when he rears back and connects with a hard hit to my gut.  
  
The little air I have in my lungs rushes and I drop down to my hands and knees as my diaphragm contracts with the effort of trying to pull in some air. I struggle to breathe. The crowd shouts louder but their screams only seem to fade as oxygen fails to enter my lungs.  
  
I try to get up but my legs shake and wobble. I list to one side and need to let my right knee drop back down on the mat to prevent from falling over.  
  
I gasp frantically. I watch as my mouth guard falls out and onto the mat, followed by drops of blood still streaming from my nose.  
  
Washington pushes Michaels away and starts to count me down.  
  
One.   
  
_The only thing I'm aware of is the gurgling sound I make as I try to breathe. I'm on my back and my mouth is full of mud and water. I'm too weak to spit it out so I swallow. The sandy mud slides down my throat and chokes me. I try to turn but all I can do is allow my head loll to one side. I tremble uncontrollably like a newborn trying to breathe for the first time._   
  
Two.  
  
_I hear someone approach and I force my eyes open. I blink into the sunlight as I catch sight of the gap tooth bastard looming over me. He shouts angrily and I try to think of what I could have done to piss him off. I cough weakly and close my eyes again. That's when I remember how he almost drown me. I reach out and grab on to his ankle, trying to topple him over. He laughs at my effort as he rears back with his other leg and kicks me viciously in the side. __  
  
__I'm blinded by the fire and light that explode like a lightening bolt through my body. I gasp for air, but all I can do is swallow the remaining water and mud in my mouth. My body contracts violently and everything in my stomach rushes up and I vomit harshly. I continue to heave until the metallic taste of blood invades my mouth and surges out into the ground. My body feels like its dead weight and I lie helplessly in my own vomit._  
  
Three.   
  
_I don't know how long before I'm finally able to take some shallow breaths to ease the fire in my lungs. My recovery is short lived as the bastard bends down next to me. I don't move, not because I don't want to but because I can't. He gazes down a t me and starts to talk gently; explaining something to me that I can't even begin to understand. He smoothes back the hair from my forehead and I shudder violently. I try to lift my arm to stop him but find myself unable to command by body. __  
  
__"Don't..." I whisper through bloodied lips. __  
  
__He smiles and continues speaking. He reaches down and takes my left wrist in his hand. His touch infuriates me and I try to pull my arm away from his grasp. I see the smile fade from his lips as he twists my wrist brutally. I cry out pitifully, weakly. _  
  
_He speaks, but his tone is harsher now and although, his words are incomprehensible, they frighten me to the core because he doesn't want to kill me; he wants to make me suffer. I shake uncontrollably from the fear and the pain coursing through me and I beg. "Please...no..." __  
  
__He pulls my left arm over my head as he stands. I hiss from the fiery pain in my side as every muscle and bone in my arm and chest is pulled to its limit. I try to twist away but he doesn't let go. He starts to walk, dragging me behind him. I cry out as the searing pain from my side intensifies with each step. My battered ribs scrape painfully across the ground. __  
  
__"No...please...no..."I mouth wordlessly as he hauls me back to the river. _  
  
Four.   
  
_He pulls me up by the collar as we enter the water. I laugh at the idea that he doesn't want me to drown prematurely. __  
  
__I pray this is the end. Oh God, I can't go through this again. I feel my body shake, and my teeth chatter as the fear only serves to strengthen the pain; a stabbing fire in my chest punctuates each shuddering breath. __  
  
__He stops and reaches down and takes my head in his hands. I let my eyes flutter open but I refuse to look at his face. I grab weakly at his hands to try and fight him off, to anger him into killing me._   
  
Five.  
  
_As my eyes begin to focus I see a beautiful blue sky covering me. I want it to be the last thing I see. I stare up and hold on to its beauty as I allow my arms to fall limply into the water. __  
  
__He wraps his hands around my throat and turns my head so I can see the villagers lining the shore, their eyes wide, and their faces emotionless. He laughs as he shoves my head below the water and smiles as he tightens his grip around my neck._  
  
I bat away Washington's hands as he holds my head and asks me something. I blink my eyes into focus as I look around for that gap tooth bastard. All I see is Michaels laughing at me as he stands waiting in the corner.  
  
I realize I'm not breathing and need to grab onto the ropes as I open my mouth and inhale. Washington holds up my mouth guard and tries to shove it back into my mouth. I swat at it and push him out of the way as I lunge for Michaels.  
  
That gap tooth bastard is gonna pay for what he did to me. I advance on him before he has a chance to react and I connect with a series of punches to the face and abdomen. I continue to flail away and in my anger I don't hear the bell.  
  
Washington grabs me from behind and pushes me into my corner. Sully takes over as I try to get back at Michaels.  
  
"Whoa, little man." He pushes me down into the stool.  
  
I double over instantly. I can't seem to catch my breath and my head starts to swim from the lack of oxygen. I can barely make out what Sully is saying to me.  
  
"Take it easy, Bosco. You're not gonna have anything left for the next round." He looks down at me worriedly as he wipes the blood and sweat off my face. I gasp frantically, unable to speak.  
  
"Keep your head down. It'll help your breathing." He grabs me by the back of the neck and pushes my head lower.  
  
His touch brings me back to the river and I rise so quickly that I knock over the stool. I lean back into the corner and grab the ropes with my gloves. I hear my frightened groans and drop my head to ease my breathing.  
  
"Bosco?"  
  
I look up but Sully seems distorted, his words stretch like some horrifying sound effect. The noise from the crowd fades, their faces change to those of the villagers. I tilt my head back as I look up through the water.  
  
_I don't even try to hold my breath. I want death to come. I open my mouth and let the water flow into my body. Pain rips through me as my lungs cry for oxygen. I feel me tenuous hold on consciousness slipping, but I keep my eyes fixed on the sky above. I hold on to its colour and I pray for mercy as my body fills with water, pain and terror. A small sing-songy voice comes to my ears. Soft chocolate eyes stare down at me. It's Squirt. I try to reach out for her. __  
  
__I'm yanked up viciously and held there. I don't even have the strength to try and breathe on my own, I convulse weakly as my lungs and stomach instinctively try to expel the water. My body throbs relentlessly from the pain. __  
  
__The gap tooth bastard grabs Squirt by the arm and he struggles to drag us both back to the shore. __  
  
__I hear her small whimpering words as she fights to try and save me. I'm dropped unceremoniously to the ground. My body struggles to take in air and I jerk involuntarily as water spills out of my nose and mouth. __  
  
__I feel a small hand on my face, and gentle words in my ear; they comfort me in my most agonizing moments. Though my throat is raw and my mouth is cut and swollen I manage to call out to her, "Squirt..." __  
  
__She is cruelly snatched away from me. I hear her father and mother begging, pleading with these monsters but it's her small, frightened screams that mobilize me into action. __  
  
__I muster all the strength in my body to lift my head. I grunt and groan just to push myself onto my stomach. I try to call out, to distract the bastard, but my voice is too weak. I claw my way towards them. I don't feel my own pain any longer but I focus on making that monster let her go. I swear to God, I'll kill him with my bare hands if he hurts her._  
  
The bell sounds and Sully grabs me and shakes me back to my senses before I push past him, and into the ring.  
  
I feel a fury growing within me and I ignore Washington's instructions as I lunge crazily for Michaels. I don't bother to keep my hands up because I'm on the attack.  
  
I don't hold back. I ram my gloves into every part of his body. I grunt with exertion, as my fists become my weapons. I don't care if I hit him in the body or the head. He's too stunned by the ferociousness of my attack to try and fight back. He manages to block most of my punches with his arms as he retreats into the ropes. I am merciless...I want him to let her go.  
  
_The terror in Squirt's screams causes me to move faster. Gap tooth shakes her by the arm and swings her down onto the ground. He yells at her menacingly as he pulls up his rifle. __  
  
__The villagers shout and cry for Squirt's forgiveness. __  
  
__My breath hitches in my throat as I freeze in fear. Only the sound of the safety shakes me out of my paralysis. "Nooo," I yell out. __  
  
__An eerie silence envelops us. Gap tooth turns around to look at me. He smiles that evil grin of his and I shudder to think he's gonna take his frustrations out on me. I glance over at Squirt and see her cowering on the ground below the barrel of his gun. __  
  
__He grabs her roughly and walks towards me slowly. She's whimpering and begging him, but he ignores her words. He motions to the rebels and they grab me and haul me up to my knees. My chest expands and contracts as I try to breathe. Each movement causes a burning, stabbing pain to cut right through and I have to fight to remain conscious. __  
  
__Gap tooth yanks my head back and I'm forced to swallow hard. I can barely breathe with my head this far back; slowly he brings it to a more natural position when he notices my distress. The bastard wants to make sure I remain alive a little longer. __  
  
__I try to make my plea for Squirt's life. I look up at him and try to point to myself. "Me..." I mouth weakly. __  
  
__He looks up towards the villagers; no one dares to speak. __  
  
__He looks down and starts talking to me. The bastard is talking to me like I have a clue what he's babbling about. I don't give a shit about him; I don't give a shit about me anymore. I hear myself begin to cry softly, "...me..." I repeat. __  
  
__The bastard's face gets serious and he rears back and backhands me hard. __  
  
__My eyes roll around in their sockets from the impact as I let my head drop down. He barks out some orders and I hear the village women begin to scream and shout. I'm dragged to a spot next to Squirt and thrown on the ground. I'm forced to watch as one of the rebels holds her arms back and she screams in utter terror. I try to reach for the rebel holding her, but gap tooth is on me instantly, yanking me back and forcing me to look at what the rebel is doing to her. __  
  
__He won't let me look away; he wants me to see what I've brought down on this village, he wants me to know the true face of evil. __  
  
__The rebels touch her and hurt her and make her scream. I see her small hands being held down and jerking as she tries to get away. __  
  
__I vomit, over and over again with every taunt and jeer from the rebels, with every desperate cry from the villagers, and with every heart-wrenching wail from Squirt as the rebels move over her and rape her._  
  
I open my eyes and see Washington and Michaels moving in slow motion in front of me. The crowd stands but I don't hear them. Sully is motioning to me to keep my hands up. Faith is on her feet silently shouting at me.  
  
All I hear are Squirt's desperate cries. My eyes dart around the room but I can't seem to spot her. I grab hold of my head to make it stop. I try to call her, "Squirt."  
  
Washington gives me a concerned look and grabs at my gloves. I back away from him and turn to face Michaels. Squirt's screams pierce my brain and I can't take this much longer.  
  
Michaels appears in front of me, within my reach and I grab on to him. "Where...is...she?" I question him as we grapple against the ropes.  
  
He laughs. I see a gap tooth laugh. I lose all sense of reality as I swing my arms and lash out at him over and over again. I'm gonna beat the living crap outta him if he doesn't make them stop. Washington tries to pull me off Michaels but I'm beside myself with rage. I keep pummelling him until he falls to the mat, blood spurting from his nose.  
  
I stagger back into the ropes and hold on for dear life. My breathing is so ragged that my heart threatens to explode out of my chest. And still, even with gap tooth bastard down on the mat, Squirt's screams are relentless. I can't make them stop.  
  
I turn in every direction, searching for her. Oh God, I can't make them stop. I feel my breath hitching as my chest constricts painfully. Squirt is yelling for me at the top of her lungs. I stumble around the ring like a drunk trying to find a way to make it stop.  
  
Michaels gets up and staggers to his corner. I see Washington giving him an eight count. The screaming in my head intensifies to an unbearable level and I lurch towards Michaels.  
  
That's when I see a way to make it stop.  
  
I fall into Michaels as he tries to get his bearings. Washington pushes me back and away from him. "You, get back in you corner," he orders me.  
  
I lean into the ropes and close my eyes as her shrieks become more desperate.  
  
Michaels comes out of his corner tentatively. His legs are wobbly and his eyes unfocused. I immediately approach him and latch on to him. We stumble crazily and I beg him, "please...hit ...me."  
  
He looks down at me and mumbles, "you're crazy."  
  
I spin away from him and fall back on the ropes. My hopelessness increases as my heart feels like its being ripped out of my chest with every scream.  
  
The room starts to spin and the bile rises forcefully into my throat. I gag and wheeze because he won't help me make it stop.  
  
I hear myself moan desperately as the memories run through my brain like a freight train...his evil gap tooth grin...the feel of Squirt's hand on my face...the colour of the sky...the agony of breathing...the taste of my blood...the horror of this evil...the terror of his touch...the cries of her mother...the hardness of their eyes...the screams...the jerking of her small hand...her screams...her screams...her screams...the horror...I can't make it stop...I can't make it stop...I can't make it stop...stop...stop.  
  
I open my eyes as Michaels advances and I hear myself pray...'hit me...hit me...hit me...hit me...make it stop'.  
  
I mouth the words to him, "hit me...fat ass," and motion to him that I'm ready to fight. He takes the bait as I see a flash of anger in his eyes; he thinks I'm taunting him...'hit me...hit me...it's what I want, what I need...hit me...oh God, hit me...hit me'...finally, I feel an overwhelming sense of relief as he comes for me.  
  
I feel my body relax. I don't blink, or flinch as I watch him pull back his right arm with all the strength he can muster; his face contorts with the sheer effort of his actions. Squirt's agony becomes my own; the shrieks in my head rip through my soul and resound in my ears until I think my eardrums will burst. I watch the trajectory of his glove as it cuts through the air, cuts through her terrified screams, her bloody clothes, and her lifeless, battered body. The images leave me gasping and swaying and I'm afraid I may fall before Michaels strikes.  
  
Mercifully, I'm wrong; I manage to remain upright until the perfect moment...the moment when I need to lower my gloves to remove the last obstacle to my deliverance.  
  
The impact of the punch is bone jarring; my head snaps back violently. My body topples over backwards and I feel myself falling endlessly as the world drifts away from me.  
  
Even before I hit the mat, my eyes roll back into my head, and I reflexively look for blue sky.   
  
The last sensation I have is the comfort of her touch as I plunge into the blessed silence of oblivion.  
  
TBC... 


	19. Crazy 19

Summary: My take on why Bosco and Sully don't get along. Takes place shortly after Bosco graduates from the Police Academy

Disclaimer: I don't own Third Watch or any of its characters.

A/N: This story was previously posted on another Third Watch site but no longer available there. I was encouraged to post it here by Joey and Orison.

Thanks for your wonderful reviews.

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I lay my hand over his chest as if somehow my touch could calm his laboured breathing; I feel his heart racing rapidly into my palm, matching my own.  
  
My eyes turn to his face. His flushed and sweaty appearance is a stark contradiction to its stillness. I snap out of my trance and reach over to fish the mouth guard out of his slack jaw. It is covered in blood, some of which dribbles down the side of his mouth and onto the mat. I pull his lip to the side and look for the source of the bleeding; a small cut on the inside of his cheek.  
  
I detect movement out of the corner of my eye; Sully is unlacing his gloves. The way he fumbles around with this seemingly simple task alerts me that I'm not the only one concerned at this point.  
  
Grady leans over my shoulder and looks down at Bosco too.  
  
I hadn't noticed how quiet the room was because I was so focused on Bosco's breathing, which is still more like gasping at this point. I look back and see Washington, Michaels, and Giambetti standing behind me. Michaels looks at me, all the cockiness and arrogance from earlier tonight is replaced by something I can't quite read, until he looks down and away from my gaze. I realize that he knows I saw what happened too.  
  
I'm brought back to Bosco when I hear Sully cursing under his breath. He's still struggling with the gloves. Grady kneels next to him.  
  
"Sul, let me handle this...get the towel." Sully allows Grady to handle the gloves. Then he reaches back and grabs the towel lying haphazardly on the mat.  
  
Sully wipes Bosco's face and cleans up the small amount of blood dripping onto the mat.  
  
"There," Grady exclaims as he pulls off one of the gloves. Bosco's hand slumps down on the mat. I concentrate on watching Bosco's face for any sign that he's regaining consciousness. I realise I'm still pressing down on him and I ease off a little, letting my hand rest weightlessly on his chest.  
  
"Okay folks, let's give him some room." Washington starts to push Michaels, Giambetti and a couple of other gawkers away from us. He turns to the crowd gathered around the ring. "Match is over, move out. Nothing left to see. He'll be fine."  
  
The crowd starts to disperse as quiet conversations start up again.  
  
"Bosco?" Sully leans over and calls to him gently. "Bosco, can you hear me?" He can't conceal the worry in his words; I don't think any of us can.  
  
I replay the scene in my mind; Michaels advancing, Bosco taunting him and then seemingly letting Michaels hit him. I can still hear the sound of the glove hitting Bosco, and I could tell he was out before he hit the mat with a sickening thud.   
  
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A wave of white noise crashes into me, the sound burning into my consciousness until I'm forced to react. I push at the edges of the darkness until a fog surrounds me as the noise continues to sear into my brain.  
  
I feel like I'm floating, and yet I can't sense my body. I'm caught in a smoky, white haze of nothingness, unaware of anything else. The buzzing in my ears continues unabated, pushing something else away. Faint voices enter from above but they can't cut across the noise.  
  
A tremor runs through my body, bringing with it the sensation of fear. I try to pull myself out of this place, but I'm trapped, unable to untangle myself from this web.  
  
A hand holds me down. I plummet back into a sense of darkness and an upsurge of dread gushes up into my chest. The sensation of this hand compels me to fight, but my body is not my own.  
  
I focus on the buzzing in my ears, it drowns out the distant screams and I allow it to take over all my senses until my body feels like it has an electric shock coursing through it. My nerve endings tingle and begin to burn with the feeling of re-awakening. This is almost worse than the fog.  
  
I can start to make out the sound of my own breathing. It sounds unbelievably loud and it frightens me because I can't feel the air in my lungs and I need to escape this suffocating darkness. I need to get away from here. I can't go back, I can't...please, I can't go back there again.   
  
-------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"Bosco?" Sully reaches down and places his hand on Bosco's shoulder but he doesn't shake him. He stares at him so intently that I doubt he even remembers we're in the room. He leans over and slowly pulls back Bosco's left eyelid. This causes Bosco to swallow and his eyes to shift from side to side. Sully lets go immediately.  
  
Bosco moans softly and his left hand comes up and cups the area around his ear. His eyes dart rapidly beneath his closed lids. His eyebrows furrow together as he moans out in pain.  
  
"Bosco, can you hear me?" Sully asks worriedly. He stares down at him and watches Bosco's left hand move around sluggishly. Still, there is no response from Bosco to confirm his return to our world.  
  
"Did anyone call the medics?" I ask as if I just remembered that we should have someone look at him at this point. I look up into the faces surrounding me. When no one responds I look over at Sully and he looks around in confusion.  
  
As if on cue, one of the medics from across the street enters the gym carrying one of his bags. I recognize him as Doc. Washington is escorting him to the ring and briefing him on what happened.  
  
Doc climbs into the ring and kneels down by Bosco's head. "Looks like he got knocked out during the match." He says matter of factly. He studies Bosco and quickly reaches out to grab his left arm.   
  
Suddenly, Bosco groans loudly and tries to open his eyes as he pushes back. I instinctively force down harder on his chest and try to grab his right arm to hold him down.  
  
This only causes him to fight back harder. Sully joins in and tries to hold his shoulder. Bosco's agitation increases as we all help to hold him down.  
  
"Let him go." Doc orders. We all look up in unison and Doc confirms his previous statement more softly this time. "Let him go before he hurts himself...he's coming around...just let him go."  
  
I ease my hands off of him gently as do the others. Doc is taking Bosco's vitals and noting them down on a piece of paper. "How long has been out?" He turns and asks me.  
  
I feel like I've been asleep up until this time. I have no idea how long he's been out. Sully is just as clueless as my self.  
  
"About 7 minutes," Grady volunteers.  
  
Bosco tries to roll over and Doc just watches to make sure he doesn't hurt himself. Doc motions for the rest of us to move back and give him some room.  
  
"Bosco, do you know where you are?" Doc asks.  
  
Bosco's eyes flit open as he tries to push himself off the mat. They are marred by confusion and fear and I watch as everyone else ignores this and continues to watch helplessly.  
  
Doc removes Bosco's headgear and grabs his elbow to support him so he doesn't slam face first into the mat as he shakes and wobbles to a sitting position.

Bosco's apparent confusion spurs me into action and I talk to him gently as I run my hand over his trembling arm. "Bosco, you're okay. Doc just wants to take a look at you. He won't hurt you." I finally see some form of recognition in his eyes, as he's able to see me for the first time. He relaxes noticeably causing him to list to one side. Doc catches him and gently lowers him to the mat.   
  
"Where...is...she?" Bosco asks shakily. I look up at Sully, hoping he knows what Bosco is talking about but he shrugs his shoulders.  
  
"Bosco, everything's okay ...don't worry about anyone...we're all okay." Sully answers soothingly.  
  
This seems to calm Bosco and he closes his eyes as he inhales deeply. "I want...to go...home," he whispers softly as he moves his hand back to the side of his head. He rubs the area around his ear although I'm pretty sure Michaels got him square on the jaw. His lips move as if to speak and the only thing I can make out is something like 'I can't make it stop.'  
  
I look up at Sully, who sighs loudly. "I'll take you home Bosco...don't worry about that...I'll take you home after you get checked out," he mutters sullenly.   
  
-----------------------------------------------How did I know that we weren't gonna make that trip to the hospital after all - crazy, mule-headed, stubborn kid. I'm mad at everyone right now, but most of all me for letting myself believe it was okay to for him to go ahead with this bone-headed idea to fight Michaels.   
  
I should have known better. I had a feeling nothing good was gonna come of this and here I have my proof. Not only did Bosco refuse to go to the hospital but he wants me to drop him off at home. Does he think I'm outta my mind? He almost got his head popped right off his shoulders and he thought I would just leave him to his own devices.  
I insisted he stay at my place for the night, and I wouldn't take no for an answer and I know I was right as I watch him navigate through the corridor in my building by holding on to the walls. So here we were, me pushing the door to my apartment open while he leans on the wall to keep from falling over. When he doesn't make a move to enter I go back out and stand in front of him.  
  
I'm about to read him the riot act but I can't bring myself to do it. He's barely holding on and he's trembling slightly as his eyes drop down to stare at the floor.  
  
I reach out and gently grab his elbow and guide him over to the couch. I take hold of his jacket and remove it for him. I turn to drop it over a chair as Bosco eases himself down onto the couch. He leans back and closes his eyes as he wraps his arms around himself for warmth.  
  
I grab a blanket from the closet and pull him forward and wrap it around his shoulders. He sits there in a daze, his body shaking slightly.  
  
"Bosco, are you cold?" He doesn't bother to answer, just rocks himself slowly back and forth. I reach over and pull the blanket up around his neck making sure it offers maximum warmth.  
  
"I...can't... get warm," he whispers hoarsely."It's okay Bosco, I'll get another one."  
  
"It...won't help," he says shakily.  
  
I get down so I'm not towering over him. "Tell me what will." I watch him carefully. He doesn't look back at me. He continues to rock back and forth. He drops his head down and pulls the blanket up to his chin and holds it over his mouth. His eyelids droop and his eyes lose their focus. He blinks them rapidly to regain his hold on wakefulness.  
  
"Make it stop," he whispers breathlessly, his eyes close and he tightens his grip on the blanket.  
  
The fear in his voice takes me aback for a second and I realize that he really has no one else to turn to for help. I feel a rush of emotion as I watch him struggle, no, as I watch my partner struggle. "He'll never hurt you again, Bosco." I say angrily. His eyes open instantly at the sound of these words. He looks at me expectantly waiting for me to continue. "No one will ever hurt you again," I say protectively. He blinks a few times as if the words haven't registered yet, then he nods his head slightly before letting it drop down.  
  
"I'll go make some hot chocolate, maybe that will help warm you up," I say awkwardly. He doesn't look up just nods his head and pulls the blanket closer. I stand up hesitantly not sure what I should be doing now. I move towards the kitchen and take one last look back before looking for the kettle.   
  
---------------------------------------------------I'm barely holding on. Everything jumbles into my brain causing me to lose my sense of direction. I can hardly tell which way is up, where I am or what I'm doing. The chill running through me is glacial.   
  
I push myself up into a standing position and look for the phone. It sits on a table on the other side of the couch. I take a shaky step but decide to sit back down on the couch and slide across to the other side. I reach out for the receiver as I search my brain for the number. I dial and wait.  
  
"Hello."

I pause and try to get my gather my thoughts.

"Hello?"   
  
"Why...did you lie?" I hear my voice as if it's coming from a deep canyon, far off in the distance.   
  
"Who is this?"  
  
"I said, why did you lie?" I manage more forcefully.  
  
"Bosco? Bosco, it's the middle of the night. What are you talking about?"   
  
"What am I talking about? I know you lied to me...I know what happened." The only response I get is silence. I shake harder and pull the blanket closer while I wait.   
  
"Tell me." Stevie says calmly.  
  
"No, I won't ...why did you lie to me Stevie, why...?" I can feel the words catch in my throat.  
  
"Bosco, I didn't lie to you," he replies calmly.  
  
"What are you talking about? I know...I know..." I trail off badly, the tears forcing their way back into my eyes.  
  
"What do you know Bosco. Bosco? Bosco...please...I promised? You made me promise." I hear the sadness and the desperation in his voice, which proves to me that he knows. "Bosco?"

A tremor racks me and I shake uncontrollably. I can't. I can't do this now. I place the receiver back in the cradle as I hear Stevie calling me over and over again. I close my eyes and lay down on the couch. I can't deal with lies wrapped in more lies. I can't understand why he won't tell me...I cover my ears as her screams begin to resurface from the abyss. I want to cry out for help but he won't let me as he gives flashes his crazy gap tooth grin. I look frantically for someone, anyone to help, and that's when I see Sully working in the kitchen. I feel the weight of the bastard's hands lifting off my throat and a quiet calm comes over me as I remember Sully's words. And I believe him, I believe everything's gonna be okay. I know, 'cause Sully promised.  
  
TBC...


	20. Crazy 20

Summary: My take on why Bosco and Sully don't get along. Takes place shortly after Bosco graduates from the Police Academy

Disclaimer: I don't own Third Watch or any of its characters.

A/N: This story was previously posted on another Third Watch site but no longer available there. I was encouraged to post it here by Joey and Orison.

Thanks for your wonderful reviews.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Great...just great," I mumble angrily as I see Mikey standing in front of my door. He's been waiting for me to get home. I check my watch; it's 12:30 a.m. He stares at me apologetically. Hell, I haven't even spoken to him and he's already sorry. I'll give him something to be sorry about.  
  
I tramp angrily to the door not even trying to conceal my scowl. I jam the key into the lock. "What the hell do you want?" I ask meanly.  
  
"Mo, I just wanted to talk. Do you think we could talk for a minute?" He fidgets nervously shoving his hands deeper into his pockets and shifting his weight from one foot to the other. He looks at everything but me.  
  
"Whatever," I huff as I push the door open and make my way inside the apartment. I drop my keys noisily on the table and throw my jacket over the chair. I basically ignore him as I grab a beer from the fridge and make my way over to the couch. I search for the remote and then turn on the TV, taking a swig of beer as I flip to ESPN.  
  
"Mo?"   
  
Just hearing him calling me grates on my nerves. It bothers me that Mikey's here. It bothers me that I know Ma sent him. It bothers me that Stevie probably spilled his guts to both of them. And it bothers me that all of a sudden they're all interested in me again. "What the f-ck do you want?" I sound incredibly cold, but I don't give a shit anymore.  
  
"I just wanted to come by and see how you were doing," he says tentatively.  
  
"Well, I'd be doing a hell of a lot better if you and Ma and Stevie would just leave me alone and stop clogging my answering machine with messages."   
  
Mikey looks down uncomfortably as I get up and make my way to the answering machine. I press on the play button and watch him as we listen to the new messages, all from them. This has been going on for a week, ever since I spoke to Stevie after that stupid fight.  
  
"Ma's worried about you...we're all worried about you," he says softly.  
  
I approach him and stand in front of him not letting him look away. I can feel my jaw clenching as the anger rises in me. "What the hell did Stevie tell you?"  
  
Mikey looks a little frightened at the tone of my voice. He opens his mouth to speak but pauses. "He didn't tell us anything," he says with a hint of confusion. "He said he promised that he would never tell anyone. He – he just said you remembered something but he doesn't know what and...he's worried, he just wants to make sure you're okay. We all do."  
  
"Well, do I look like I'm not doing okay?" I spit back at him. "You guys are incredible," I snort as I shake my head, "Ma practically tells me not to show up at her place again and now you want to make sure I'm okay. You had your chance to worry about me and now you lost it. You don't need to worry about me; I've got a partner who looks out for me now. So, just go back and tell Ma I'm fine."  
  
" Mo, we never stopped caring...you know that," Mikey says softly.   
  
I see the hurt in his eyes. I think of all the times I tried to protect him from that hurt and now I'm the cause of it. I don't know what the hell I'm thinking taking this out on him. And the worst part of all, is my realization that Ma sent him instead of coming herself because she knows I'd relent if Mikey showed up.  
  
But she's wrong this time. There's too much at stake and I won't give in to their demands. I feel like I'm swimming upstream and never getting anywhere. I don't know how to make them understand that it's not that easy, that I can't do what they want me to do, that they can't help me. I don't want their help. I don't want to remember. I don't want to work through this. I want every memory of that day to be obliterated from my mind. "Mikey, what do you want from me?"  
  
He stares at his shoe as he shuffles it across the carpet in a circular motion. He hesitates before speaking and looks up at me momentarily. I see the nervousness in the way he bites his lip. He looks off in another direction not wanting me to see the emotion in his eyes. The small shake of his head alerts me that he's lost his nerve. He remains silent.  
  
"Tell Ma not to worry...okay?" I tell him.  
  
He nods his head slowly, unconvincingly and turns to leave. He opens the door but stops before exiting. "Promise you'll call me if you need anything." He half turns and waits for my response.  
  
I know this isn't coming from Ma. This is all Mikey and it saddens me that I won't take him up on his offer, and I won't even pretend. When I don't answer he turns and closes the door softly as he exits my apartment.  
  
I guzzle the rest of my beer before getting another one from the fridge and settling uncomfortably on the couch. I flip through the channels but all I see is their faces, haunting me, staring back at me, trying to tell me something. Something I don't want to know. How do I turn it off? How do I make it go away? How do I make them all go away?   
  
---------------------------------------------------------------  
  
"Bosco, hold up."  
  
I turn to see Faith walking towards me. The shift has barely begun and she's already on my case. I pretend to be adjusting something on my gun belt.  
  
"Bosco?"   
  
"Yeah," I say casually, not looking up at her. When she doesn't answer, I'm forced to look up. She's studying me with that motherly look that I hate so much. I almost feel like telling her 'I've got a mother already and even she doesn't speak to me anymore so maybe you could play mommy to someone else.'  
  
"How's it going?"   
  
She stopped me to ask me 'how's it going?' I can feel my irritation growing; I need to get rid of her.   
  
"Fine," I answer tersely, the annoyance in my voice evident to both of us. "Sully's waiting for me. I gotta go." And with that I move away from her.  
  
"Bosco."   
  
God, why is she doing this to me? I stop and feel my shoulders slump down in exasperation as my hands move to my hips. I turn slowly, my eyes downcast to avoid her gaze. "What?"   
  
"If you ever need to talk...you know...you can call me, or come on by, I know Fred and the kids would love to see you again."  
  
"Ok," I lie. I have no intention of talking to her or anyone else for that matter.  
  
But, she seems to be appeased by my lame response and she nods and walks in the opposite direction as I breathe a sigh of relief.   
  
-----------------------------------------------------------  
  
"Hey Sul," Grady waves at me from across the bar and weaves his way to the stool beside me. "What's your poison," he says sniffing at my drink.  
  
"Whiskey."  
  
"Since when are you hitting the hard stuff?" He asks perplexed.  
  
"Since my partner started buying me drinks," I say as I jerk my head back towards Bosco.  
  
Grady narrows his eyes as he tries to pick him out from across the room.  
  
I rub my eyes and then rake my hand through my hair. It's only my third drink but I'm feeling the effects of a hectic day and the booze.  
  
"Seems like he recovered from last week. I heard he was running you ragged, Sul." Grady smirks at me.  
  
"I don't know if I can keep this up. He wants to answer every damn call, and if we don't have a call he goes looking for trouble. I've never arrested so many perps, chased as many idiots and intervened in as many petty incidents as I've done in the last week or so."  
  
Grady looks at me sympathetically. "Don't worry Sul, he'll slow down in a couple of...years." He chuckles softly at the look on my face.   
  
"Well, I won't live to tell about it, that's for sure." I sip at my drink hoping it will ease the muscle pain in my shoulders and legs from the non-stop chasing I've been doing.  
  
"Well at least you're keeping in shape." Grady grins slyly.  
  
"Trust me, I'd rather be getting my exercise at the gym, but Bosco isn't interested now that you know who is back in there every day."   
  
Grady nods solemnly as I continue sipping on my drink.   
  
--------------------------------------------------------------   
  
I watch the colours in the room as they move and fuse together into a kaleidoscope. I sway slightly at the effect these movements have on me. I grab for my drink and take a big gulp. I'm not where I need to be, yet.  
  
I laugh because I need two things simultaneously. I need to keep moving, keep my brain in a swirl of activity to avoid thinking, remembering, caring. And at the same time I need to shut it down, to drop from consciousness and into sleep with nothing in between. I need to make everything stop on a dime. Not even Einstein could have figured this one out.  
  
My drink spills all over me as I bumped from behind. I turn around and it actually feels like I'm spinning incredibly fast as I come face to face with Michaels. He sneers at me menacingly.  
  
I think he's talking to me. His mouth is moving, his face contorts and he gives me a gap tooth grin.  
  
I can feel my arms reaching out for him and my hands wrapping around his throat. I can't hear him but somehow I understand every single word he's saying. He wants me to see...he wants me to watch...he wants me to suffer.  
  
I feel my grip weakening as my vision blurs and my breathing hitches.  
  
I'm pulled back fairly harshly causing me to stumble and almost fall. I latch on to the bar to keep from sliding to the floor. Why did they let me live...why?  
  
I feel an intense pressure on my chest forcing me to suck in air at an alarming rate and I feel like I'm caught in an endless, freefall spiral.  
  
The fall ends as I feel someone shaking me until I open my eyes.   
  
"S-Sul...?" I stutter.  
  
"Let's get outta of here?" He says from a place far, far away.  
  
I look around and find Michaels being tended to by Giambetti as he tries to stem the bleeding from a split lip.  
  
I stare up at Sully as he practically drags me outta there. I doubt he even heard me mutter my thanks to him. My thanks for keeping his promise to me to keep that gap tooth bastard from hurting me. He pulls me along and at this point I don't really care what happens, or where I go, or how I get there. I feel myself blanking out, and my brain turning off as I follow Sully blindly.  
  
TBC...


	21. Crazy 21

Summary: My take on why Bosco and Sully don't get along. Takes place shortly after Bosco graduates from the Police Academy

Disclaimer: I don't own Third Watch or any of its characters.

A/N: This story was previously posted on another Third Watch site but no longer available there. I was encouraged to post it here by Joey and Orison.

Thanks for your wonderful reviews.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Bosco – Bosco," I yell at the top of my lungs, but I might as well be a million miles away.  
  
"Oh God," I moan as I try to keep up with Bosco. We're on the chase again. How does he manage to find all these losers seemingly waiting for us to come by and bust them?  
  
Bosco's quickly gaining ground but the perp is still too far ahead for Bosco to try anything. We're running northbound and the fact that there are lots of pedestrians isn't helping. I lean over breathlessly. I'm too damn old for this shit. I stand and keep moving as quickly as I can. I watch the scene unfold from my vantage point.  
  
The perp starts to cut across the intersection. He's knocking people down and running right into the oncoming traffic.  
  
"Shit, shit, shit.... BOSCO...NO."   
  
-------------------------------------------------   
  
This son-of-a-bitch is gonna get it good when I get a hold of him. I'm gonna kick his ass and then I'm gonna kick it again.  
  
"Hey jag-off... stop - Police." I must have called out to him at least six times. But he seems to have a slight hearing problem. Well, not to worry, two can play that game and I might not hear his screams of pain when I'm beating the crap outta him.  
  
"You better run...jag-off...I'm catching up..." I shout to him. He never bothers to look back because he knows his ass is toast.  
  
The idiot is running right into traffic, and almost gets hit by a car. Damn, he just knocked over that kid. Oh God, the car, the car, it won't stop...  
  
I keep moving even as time stands still and speeds up all at the same time. The boy rolls into the intersection. The driver slams on the brakes and braces for something terrible. I stop between the both of them, facing the oncoming car hurtling towards us. The sound of the screeching tires drowns out everything and I hold my hands out in front of me, pushing against the inevitable.  
  
Stop...Oh God, please make it stop...MAKE IT STOP.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------

The car seems unstoppable as it hurtles towards Bosco.  
  
I can't scream or move or even look away. I'm frozen in place, watching in horrified fascination. Suddenly, everything looks and feels different. Like a light bulb has finally been turned on and illuminates the world around me until I have to admit I've never seen it like this before.  
  
There are no sounds. The quiet is unsettling, like the mute button being activated on the TV remote. I can tell the car is squealing wildly, the lady on the street is screaming, and Bosco is shouting at the top of his lungs.  
  
I feel the thumping of my heart counting out the seconds. Each one seems to take forever before the next one is felt and yet even forever doesn't afford me enough time to act.  
  
I am acutely aware of my breathing because it makes me feel everything. Every breath is cleansing, stripping away all the layers of protection built up through the years, until I feel the fear of losing my partner, again. I wonder how can I feel this alive while Bosco is trying to hold back 1000 pounds of steel?  
  
I fight to keep my eyes open as I watch the car shuddering as it swerves to avoid hitting Bosco and the kid. I see a plume of white smoke rising as the rubber from the tires burns. I imagine the driver forcing his foot into the brake just as my own leg is jamming down hard.  
  
I hold my breath as I watch it happening.   
  
------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Everything comes to a stop.  
  
I allow my hands to rest on the side of the car, leaning against it for support as I swallow down hard. Everything outside of me has stopped but internally, I'm running at twice the regular speed.  
  
It stopped. I made it stop.  
  
"Bosco?" I hear Sully whisper from behind me.  
  
I keep my hands out in front of me and I turn to face him. Sully calling me but he's not behind me. He's on the other side of the street.   
  
"Bosco?" In the blink of an eye Sully materializes beside me. He doesn't look good. He's as white as a sheet. I see the beads of sweat pooling on his upper lip. I think he needs help. I lay my hands on his chest. I feel his fear through his coat.  
  
"I can make it stop." I tell him but I can hardly hear my own voice.  
  
He looks at me like I'm crazy except he seems angry. "Yeah, you almost made my heart stop. What the hell were you thinking? Did you really need to chase that idiot? Look at what you did." Sully shouts and pushes me back into the stopped vehicle causing me to sit on the car.  
  
"Can't you see?" I ask confused. Am I the only one that sees this? I show him my hands. "I made it stop."  
  
He grabs me by the collar and shakes me hard. "What the hell is the matter with you? All I saw is that you almost got yourself killed today. Don't you ever do that again," he growls and then shoves me back once again before turning to help the kid.  
  
I regain my balance and watch Sully move away. 'It's okay,' I tell myself. He can't know what this means to me. He can't understand that I've found a way to redeem myself for all the pain I caused those people.  
  
I know now how to make it stop and although I don't know how long it will take or how many lives I need to save, I know which direction I'm heading in. Before, I was stopping crime to keep myself busy, but not anymore. I have a mission. I need to stop people from getting robbed, and hurt and killed. I need to do it to atone for my mistakes. I need to stop bad things from happening.  
  
--------------------------------------------------------------  
  
Bang-bang-bang. The shots ring out in the darkness. I run and run and run but I'm not getting anywhere. I turn the corner and freeze immediately. I know this place.  
  
I look down and notice a trail of blood. My body moves forward against my will. I can't stop myself even though I know what I will find. I move forward without walking, the buildings and posts rushing by me until I come to a sudden stop.  
  
Davis lies in a pool of his own blood. I reach down and grab his shoulder. I know he's dead but I have to look. I pull him back slowly and his limp body rolls back effortlessly.  
  
The eyes staring back at me are not his; the face is not his. A name catches in my throat as these lifeless eyes stare back at me. I'm only able to whisper – "Bosco."  
  
I feel my body shooting straight up in bed as my breaths come in harsh gasps. My hands wrap themselves around something soft as my eyes try to adjust to the darkness. Relief invades my body as I realize I'm in bed and this was just a dream.  
  
I slump back into the pillows and swallow hard as I turn to stare at the clock on the nightstand; it flashes 3:42. My heart beats relentlessly at the thought of this nightmare playing itself out in real life. I can't go through that again. I clutch at my chest as the pain increases steadily. I swallow hard once again to ease the dryness in my mouth and allow myself to breathe deeply to try and regain my composure. I stare back at the clock and although it's too early to get up I know I won't be going back to sleep tonight. I won't let myself.

------------------------------------------------------  
  
Grady rubs his hands together in an effort to keep warm. The cold snap that's been covering most of the east coast continues for the third consecutive week. He can't recall a winter ever being this cold as he hurries to enter the building.  
  
He pulls the door of the diner open and sees Sully sitting in the corner. Bosco is nowhere to be found. Grady turns and looks out the window but doesn't see 55-Charlie parked out front.  
  
He pulls his hat and gloves off and walks over to the booth. Sully is nursing a cold cup of coffee.  
  
"Sul," he calls out before sitting down.  
  
"Hey Grady," Sully replies, looking up briefly.  
  
The waitress comes by with a pot of coffee. Grady motions he'd like one and then points to Sully's cup signalling her to oblige him with a refill. The waitress pours for the both of them before smiling at Grady and silently moving away.  
  
Grady wraps his hands around the cup to warm his hands and peers back at Sully who seems lost in his own thoughts. The only time he remembers seeing Sully this lost was when Davis was killed. Obviously something is bothering him.  
  
"Sul, what's going on?"  
  
Sully rubs his temple pensively. "I wish I knew," he says then shrugs dejectedly.  
  
"You sleeping ok?" Grady asks as he notices the dark circles under Sully's eyes.  
  
Sully ignores the question and stares out the window at the pedestrians rushing to get to where they are going. Everybody seems to be moving faster than usual. He turns back to Grady and speaks lowly. "He can't stop...he's always running and chasing...he won't stop."   
  
Grady purses his lips and narrows his eyes. "Sul, are you talking about Bosco?"  
  
Sully looks down into his cup. "I thought I was ready, to take on that kind of responsibility and all the risks that come with it, but I'm not sure."  
  
Grady waits but no further explanation is provided. He wants to speak, to ask his friend how he can help but instead asks, "Where's Bosco?"  
  
Sully looks at Grady in exasperation. "I told you, he can't stop. He's out there," Sully waves his hand towards the window, "patrolling during our break 'cause he...he can't stop. I can't keep up with him. I just can't..."  
  
Suddenly the radio crackles to life. "Sul, let's go, break's over."   
  
The RMP comes cruising around the corner, visible from inside the diner. Grady watches as Bosco pulls up next to the front door.  
  
Sully sighs and pushes his cup away from him. "I gotta go," he says as he grabs his gloves and hat and pulls the zipper of his coat up to his neck.   
  
"Sul, maybe you should talk to someone." Grady suggests.  
  
But before Sully can answer, the radio comes to life again. "Sul, are you coming?"  
  
Grady can feel Sully's weariness as he trudges towards the door without looking back.   
  
-----------------------------------------------------------  
  
Rose stands in front of her son's apartment. She's debated over and over again whether she should come and check on him herself. She sent Mikey last week, but Bosco refused all help. It was bad enough he wasn't returning any of her calls but then John Sullivan called her. He had basically told her that Bosco needs help and he needs it now.  
  
Rose looks back at Steve nervously. He nods and urges her to knock on the door. It's almost 12:30 in the afternoon and John assured her Bosco would probably still be in his apartment at this time.  
  
She knocks loudly and waits. A minute later the door opens without the sound of the chain or the deadbolt being removed.  
  
Bosco opens the door and leans on it for support. He looks like he just woke up except for the fact that he's wearing clothes. Rose assumes he fell asleep on the couch, fully clothed, as was his habit even when he was living at home.  
  
He rubs his eyes and groans in frustration when he recognizes them. "Sorry, not interested in buying what you're selling," he rasps out and tries to close the door.  
  
"Bosco," Steve moves forward and places his foot against the bottom of the door to stop its forward movement.  
  
"Stevie," Bosco replies mockingly as he stares down at Stevie's foot.  
  
"Can we talk?"  
  
"I'd love to," Bosco replies sarcastically, "but I need to get to get ready for work."   
  
"Maurice," Rose exclaims in embarrassment, "we just want to talk for a few minutes. Please."   
  
Bosco looks down but doesn't allow them access to his apartment. "Leave," he whispers.  
  
"No." Stevie replies forcefully. "I need to talk you."  
  
"Let us in Maurice." Rose reaches for him but he moves back and away refusing her touch. She notices how much he's deteriorated since the last time she saw him. He's unshaven and dishevelled. He seems thinner and his anger can't conceal the fatigue in his face.   
  
"Fine have it your way. We'll talk right here," Stevie says not backing down, he pauses for a moment before starting in a low voice. "We flew over the village late in the afternoon. The smoke from the houses was visible for more than a mile."  
  
"Shut the f-ck up." Bosco says angrily as he tries to shut the door.  
  
Stevie holds it back with his foot and his arm. "I'm not leaving, Bosco," he huffs.  
  
"But you promised..." Bosco croaks out weakly, pain etched on his features.  
  
"I'm sorry Bosco," Stevie says gently. "You need to hear this."   
  
"No I don't," Bosco replies furiously. He backs into his apartment, letting go of the door. He spins away and searches frantically for his coat.  
  
Rose and Stevie both enter and close the door behind them. Rose sees the litter of beer bottles all over the apartment. She turns her attention back to her son who is tearing around looking for his jacket. She approaches him tentatively. "Maurice, please give Steve a chance to explain." She tries to reach out for him but she sees how agitated he is and decides to stop.  
  
"I don't need any explanations," he shouts desperately, grabbing his jacket and putting it on roughly.  
  
Stevie stands with his back to the door, blocking it. Bosco stops in front of him breathing heavily. He tries to stare Stevie down but all he sees is stony resolve in his friend's eyes.  
  
"Like I said," Stevie continues, "we flew over late in the afternoon. The village had been burned down. We landed to see if we could help the villagers or find you."  
  
Bosco jams his hands over his ears and tries to block out Stevie. He steps back and starts to pace inside the apartment as he mutters to himself.   
  
"Bosco, I didn't tell you the truth when I said there were no bodies. They were burned in their homes. We found lots of empty shells. They must have shot them all and then burned the bodies."  
  
Bosco strides over to Stevie and grabs him by the collar as he tries to move him away from the door. "STOP," he shouts and more weakly, "please...stop."  
  
Stevie stands his ground and takes hold of Bosco's trembling arms before continuing. "I don't think they suffered Bosco. Maybe they were all dead by the time you got there. It must have been quick. Maybe they didn't suffer."  
  
Bosco pants heavily and grips Stevie even tighter. His face is a portrait in disbelief. "They didn't suffer," he says incredulously. "What the f-ck do you know?" He screams. "What the f-ck do you know?" He repeats, his voice breaking.  
  
Stevie swallows hard but doesn't let go of Bosco. "You made me promise never to tell you what I saw. I'm sorry I broke that promise Bosco. But what I just told you, that's all I know. Tell me why you made me promise. Please Bosco, tell me what happened."  
  
Bosco shivers and closes his eyes. "Don't...please...don't..."

"Bosco, I want to help. Let me help you," Stevie whispers. Bosco tries to pull away but Stevie holds on to him.

"I made you promise because I thought you were my friend, and I needed..."  
  
Stevie tightens his grip on Bosco and brings him closer. "Tell me," he asks softly.  
  
Bosco chokes back a sob and bites down on his lip. He takes in a few shuddering breaths before speaking again. "Because...I didn't want that bastard to win..." he manages to eke out before closing his eyes again and turning away.  
  
"Tell me," Stevie begs, his eyes displaying untold compassion.  
  
Bosco shaks his head no before he springs into action and pushes away from Stevie. "I told you, I don't want that bastard to win," he yells hoarsely. "Get out of my way." When Stevie doesn't move, he turns looking for another way out, his eyes darting around the room.  
  
"Maurice, please calm down, we can talk about this, please..." Rose pleads with him frightened by the state he's in right now.  
  
Bosco stands between them, shivering and trembling, eyes closed. He brings his hands up to cover his face. Slowly, he emerges from his daze and looks at Stevie first.  
  
His voice quivers as he speaks. "I wish...I had never gone there. I wish I had never...seen that village. I wish they had never laid eyes on me...and most of all...I wish I had never met you," he spits out venomously to Stevie.  
  
"Maurice," Rose yells out in a scolding tone.  
  
Bosco turns on her next. "And that's not all," he shouts angrily, hot tears threatening to spill over, "I wish I had never been born."  
  
Rose gasps slightly and tries to respond. "Maurice –"  
  
Bosco cuts her off. "Did you hear me? Did you? Everyone would have been better off if I'd never been born."  
  
With that, Bosco turns quickly, grabs Stevie and throws him to the floor. He yanks the door open and runs into the corridor and down the stairs. He has no idea where he's going, just that he needs to get away from here.  
  
TBC...


	22. Crazy 22

Crazy 22/?

Disclaimers: I don't own any of these fine characters. But I sure wish I did.

Summary: My take on why Sully and Bosco don't get along. This takes place just after Bosco graduates from the Police Academy.

Well, there's not much to say at this point except talks for your incredible feedback.

Enjoy

* * *

The air is cold and crisp, the sky cloudless. Bosco stands panting. His hot, misty breath streams out of his nose and mouth as he struggles to breathe. He swallows, but there is no saliva in his mouth to ease the dryness. He wheezes painfully to fill his aching lungs.

A moment later, Stevie comes jogging into view. He slows down and walks towards Bosco. His feet drag sluggishly from the fatigue of running for the last 15 minutes. He struggles to breathe as well.

Bosco doesn't notice Stevie approaching as he is facing the river, staring out across the water. His jacket is open, his hands and head are both gloveless and hatless. The cold wind stings his face and body but he makes no move to cover himself up.

"Bosco," Stevie gasps breathlessly.

Bosco doesn't hear him or chooses to ignore his friend's call. His gaze never leaving the churning water, his body never indicating he is aware of his surroundings.

Stevie stands behind him for several seconds and is surprised when Bosco speaks to him. "I…meant it…I really did…so, just leave..."

Stevie is not deterred by these words. He moves to stand beside Bosco and turns to study him closely.

"Go away…" Bosco huffs without allowing his gaze to move away from the flowing water.

Stevie leans over and holds his sides with his hands, trying to stem the pain caused by the lack of air. He concentrates on his breathing while giving Bosco a sideways glance. Even if he would want to respond to Bosco, at this moment it would be useless.

Stevie looks down momentarily to catch his breath. Bosco takes one step forward either to move away from Stevie or towards the river, Stevie isn't sure which one but he straightens up quickly.

"Don't…make me…do this," Bosco chokes out, his back rigid.

"What don't you want to do, Bosco?" Stevie asks.

Bosco takes another step forward as if he is drawn to the river. "I can't let him win."

Stevie watches Bosco taking another faltering step. "How is he going to win Bosco?"

"He wants me…" Bosco's voice cracks and he doesn't continue. He pulls his jacket closed and wraps his arms around himself to keep it closed. He shuts his eyes and starts to tremble. Stevie moves in front of Bosco, facing him.

"Bosco, he wants you to do what?" Stevie asks softly.

Bosco shakes his head slowly. His eyes, although shut, still allow a few tears to spill out. He clenches his mouth in an attempt to silence his cries. "He wants…me to…remember," he croaks out painfully. "He…wants me…to tell everyone what…he did." Bosco sucks in air through his nose and blows it out through his mouth. He shivers against each shaky breath. "You don't…know…what he did," he sobs quietly.

"Bosco, you don't have to tell me. " Stevie offers, as he stands firm before his friend.

Bosco open his eyes but Stevie doesn't see any relief. "You don't understand," Bosco whimpers. "You'll always… remind me…you need…to go away."

"Bosco, I could never desert you, remember?" Stevie shows him a ring on his left hand. "Brothers in arms – forever."

Bosco stares down at the ring. It reminds him of how close they were and everything they had gone through together. He knows Stevie means what he just said and will never abandon him.

Bosco searches his mind desperately for something that will drive Stevie away. Suddenly his face hardens into a mask of anger. "If you don't leave me alone, Stevie…I'll kill myself."

Stevie flinches at the words. His eyes flicker in disbelief and fear. "Bosco…" he whispers pleadingly.

"I will," Bosco confirms vehemently. He pushes a stunned Stevie out of his way and trudges towards the river.

"Bosco – please," Stevie shouts as he turns. "Bosco, please don't say that." Stevie's face contorts painfully at the sound of his own words.

"I can't do this…you will always remind me…leave…just leave," Bosco says without turning back.

"I can't leave you like this…Bosco…" Stevie's voice trails off in the cold air.

Bosco shifts his gaze away form the water and down to the ground. "Stevie, you have to understand…I need it this way…you remind me of that place…please just leave."

"Bosco, I would never do anything to hurt you. You know that don't you?" Stevie asks with difficulty.

Bosco just nods his head in answer.

"If I promise to leave, you have to promise me too…you won't…" Stevie pleads.

Bosco sighs in relief. He knows Stevie would rather die than hurt him. He turns around and looks at a defeated Stevie. "Goodbye, Stevie," he whispers. Bosco looks down at the ground and doesn't look up as he hears the snow crunching loudly beneath Stevie's feet as he walks away for good.

* * *

The locker room is quiet as Faith enters. So quiet, she doesn't notice Bosco sitting on the bench facing his locker.

"Hey, you're here early." Faith blurts out as she spins the dial on her lock. She allows herself to turn back and look at him when he doesn't respond. "Major Tom to ground control," she jokes but still he doesn't acknowledge her.

Faith walks over to Bosco and sits on the bench next to him. "Hey," she calls to him gently as she tilts her head to peer into his face.

Bosco looks up at her. "Faith…" but doesn't continue his train of thought.

"You okay?" Faith asks worriedly, she searches him for any sign of illness. He looks fine physically but something about him reminds her of the night of the fight. Her minds jumps back to the boxing match and she decides to ask the question that's been gnawing at her ever since. "Why'd you let him hit you?"

"What?" Bosco is confused by her question.

"Michaels, during the match. You let him hit you." Faith explains hesitatingly.

Bosco lowers his head and rubs his temple. "Not you too," he groans. "I'm not in the mood for 20 stupid questions today." He stands and starts to open his locker.

Faith stares up at him questioningly. She can see that he's upset about something but she can't begin to understand his problems. It's obvious to her, talking is not what he needs right now but maybe later. "Bosco, if you need to talk…call me…anytime."

"Yeah, sure," he replies unconvincingly and without looking back at her to reassure her that he'll be fine.

* * *

"Bosco," Sully barks into his radio then turns to look at Grady. "Where the hell could he be? He should have been back to pick me up 10 minutes ago." Sully explains worriedly. Sully needed a break and although it was already 8:30 p.m. he asked Bosco to stop for a coffee. Of course, Bosco didn't need a break and decided to continue patrolling.

Grady motions towards his RMP parked outside. "Why don't we circle around and try to find him. I'm sure he just forgot the time, Sul."

"Then why the hell isn't he responding to the radio?" Sully shouts angrily.

"Sul, let's go, we'll find him and then he can explain." Grady moves towards the diner's exit as he fishes the keys out of his pocket. He can tell Sully is following by the litany of curses being muttered from behind.

They ride around slowly looking for any signs of the RMP while Sully calls Bosco on the radio. They decide to widen the area they are searching, covering every block before they move on to another sector.

Grady glances over at Sully as block after block reveals no Bosco. He can see the worry and fear taking over from the rational thoughts floating around in his head to explain partner's disappearance.

"Head for the river." Sully commands Grady.

Grady turns back. "Why would he be out at the river, Sul? It's not his sector."

"Well, do you see him in his sector?" Sully answers irately. "Just go, for God's sake."

A few minutes later they pull up beside 55 – Charlie. The driver's door is open and Sully leans in and finds Bosco's jacket, gloves and hat strewn on the passenger seat. Sully looks up towards Grady who signals no sign of Bosco.

Sully pulls out his flashlight and begins to search the field and calling out. Grady joins him and they methodically sweep the area looking for any clues to Bosco's whereabouts.

Sully's calls become more frantic as they run out of field and still there is no sign of Bosco.

Grady stops and turns towards the embankment. "Sul, let's head towards the water."

"No – no. He's got to be here. Why would he be near the water, huh? It doesn't make any sense. Why wasn't he in the RMP? What could have happened, Grady?" The questions spill out of Sully's mouth anxiously.

"You stay here. I'll check it out." Grady says sympathetically and walks away as Sully closes his eyes and prays.

Surprisingly, the sound of the water is soothing to my ears. I sit on the cold, hard ground facing my worst fear and yet I'm astonishingly calm.

In my mind, I hear myself repeating my mantra – 'I won't let him win,' over and over again. I need to make myself believe that I can do this. That the rest of the memories will stay buried deep in my subconscious and nothing will make them resurface, not the site of the river, not any chance encounters with Stevie, not questions from Ma or Mikey, or kids screaming in terror, or a million other little things that might set me off.

I focus on this one thought alone and force any feelings down into the deepest recesses of my soul. I won't let his evil touch me again. I won't let myself relive the madness again. I won't allow myself to feel the pain…

"Sul, he's over here."

My thoughts are broken by Grady's voice. But I'm not drawn to his call. I remain where I am. I hear someone sliding down on the snow and reach out for me.

Sully peers at me from above, inspecting me carefully. "What the hell are you doing?" He asks angrily.

I stare down at myself wondering if there is something I'm missing. "N-N-Noth-ing," I chatter.

Sully grabs me by the collar and hauls me up to my feet. My limbs are numb and I'm not sure if I'm supporting myself or if Sully is holding me up.

"Why the hell didn't you answer the radio when I called you?" The fury in his eyes is palpable and I really have no good answer because I didn't realize he was calling me on the radio.

I just stand there shaking and shivering in the cold air. Sully pushes me in disgust and I fall forward on my hands and knees.

"Get yourself up there," he yells menacingly. I try to scramble up the embankment but the snow and ice as well as the lack of feeling in my body hinders my progress.

He grabs my shirt and hauls me up as he makes his way to the top. I can hear the disappointment in his grunts and I cringe at the thought that I would be the cause. Sully tosses me to the ground as we reach the top.

"Take it easy, Sul," Grady says as he grabs me under my arm and stands me up.

"Take it easy? This little bastard was sitting here the whole time and didn't bother to let me know he was okay." Sully screams at both Grady and me. "What the hell were you thinking, huh?" Sully yells as he grabs me and shakes me hard.

I grab his arms and Grady tries to calm him. "Sul, stop."

"Do you know how worried I was?" He yells in my face. I see the anger cresting in the bulges on his face and neck. "Who the hell do you think you are?"

I watch his hand come up and my reflexes are too slow to prevent it from connecting with my cheek not once but twice.

Grady grabs Sully from behind and pins his arms down. "Sully, stop. Stop this now."

I reach up to touch my cheek.

_A sharp stinging feeling brings me back to reality. I feel my hand on my cheek as I try and quell the pain. I open my eyes and see gap tooth smiling down at me. My eyes turn away in disgust only to settle on a piece of the green dress Squirt was wearing. My eyes follow the path of the material until I lock on to her eyes. They are open and lifeless. Her body lays in the dirt, arms and legs splayed in different directions like a rag doll, blood soaking through the dress and into the ground._

_I hear a child scream in agony. My eyes move away from Squirt until I locate the source of the screaming. It is Squirt's little brother. He stares at his sister, tears streaming down his face and his arms outstretched, reaching for her dead body. He witnessed her agony and pain and felt it right along with her. His father holds him tightly, not wanting to let him go and trying to shush him so the rebels won't turn on him too._

_It is too late for that. Gap tooth laughs at me and then steps towards the child. The boy is oblivious to the danger approaching as he only sees his sister's broken body. He calls her name out over and over again._

_The villagers start to clamor as gap tooth approaches the boy and his father pulls him up into his arms. When he refuses to surrender his child, gap tooth pulls back the trigger and shots Squirt's mother between the eyes._

_The villagers scream in despair and terror as she falls silently to the ground. The boy stops momentarily as he tries to comprehend what has just happened. Realization comes with his first cry for his mother. These screams are even more painful that those for his sister and I can't help but close my eyes against this assault._

_My eyes shoot open when my hand is twisted into an impossible position. Gap tooth is holding it and grinning gleefully at my anguished cries. He speaks to me and I think I know exactly what he wants from me. I see his lips move and hear my own screams but I understand the bastard as if he was speaking in English. He wants me to watch, he wants me to see what I've done and he wants me to live to tell everyone else. He wants me to be the witness to his evil and to the death of this village. He wants me to bear the burden of what really happened here. That's why he wants me to live. That's why he hasn't killed me yet. _

_My insides turn to ice as I feel his cruelty descend upon me. I look up into his eyes and I feel his evil invade my soul as I stare into the heart of darkness._

I stare down into the abyss; it causes my heart to beat uncontrollably. I struggle to push myself away form the endless pit that threatens to swallow me.

I fight to keep the memories buried while my body turns involuntarily towards the river. My mind is unable to break his hold on me and I need someone to save me.

_Gap tooth stands over me. I lie on the ground utterly defeated by him, shaking feverishly. I watch him as he starts to move around, and he looks back at me to make sure I keep watching. He's told me that he wants me to watch. I can't seem to tear my eyes away from him and I understand his every move and thought._

_He makes his way over to the villagers and chooses his next victim, a young boy of about ten. His parents cry out and the boy's eyes water with fearful tears. He is too afraid to try to escape. He reminds me of the lion's prey, once it is caught it doesn't bother to struggle, it lets death come._

_Gap tooth talks to the boy. He's making him believe that nothing will happen to him if he follows his orders. But, this is not true. I don't have the heart to tell him…I wait for the boy to die._

_Gap tooth makes the boy stand before him with his back to the bastard. I see the slight trembling of the boy's small shoulders as he tries to be brave as his parent watch him. Gap tooth pulls out his knife, grabs the boy around the neck and stabs him in the abdomen._

_The boy convulses weakly in his arms, as his blood spills out from the gash. The bastard lays him on the ground. The boy is alive and his body is jerking wildly. Above the din of the villagers' cries I can make out the boys soft moans for help. It is a slow agonizing death._

_I can't watch. I can't listen to this any longer. I close myself off to the world, to this evil, to this cruelty. I shudder because I don't know where he ends and where I begin._

_I feel his hands on me but I refuse to be a part of this madness. He grabs my hand and pulls my little finger away from the rest. He twists it back until I start to cry out. I open my eyes and try to fight him off. I grunt and groan against him and I feel a desperate energy surge through me._

_He stares at me and I hear him tell me that he'll break every bone in my body if I don't watch. I scream out my defiance to him and grab at his hands. He smiles malevolently and pushes my finger all the way back until I hear the sickening crack of the bone._

"Where the hell do you think you're going?"

Sully's angry question causes me to stop. I'm on my way back to the river. I cradle my hand against my chest to appease the pain pulsating through it. I need to get back to the river.

I turn slowly to face Sully. Grady stands slightly behind him, waiting to make a move on either one of us. Sully's face is reddening and he clenches his fists methodically.

"You better get your *ss in that RMP right now," he yells at me.

I stand there frozen, my mind and body disconnected from this reality. I stare at Sully; his anger overwhelms me. I clutch at my chest as I feel the evil coursing through my body, trying to force the memories up to the surface.

"Sul…" my voice sounds so small and insignificant and I wonder if he knows that my call to him is my cry for help. I am unable to formulate any other words. I need him to pull me back from the brink. I need him to protect me from the memories. I need him to keep his promise to me. I need him to understand all this in the one, lone syllable I was able to utter.

"Get your goddamn *ss in that RMP," he hisses through clenched teeth.

My body hesitates, until he takes my lack of movement as insolence and comes rushing at me. He grabs me by the back of the collar and pushes me towards the RMP. I stumble blindly as I try to get away.

I fall to the ground and cower behind my upraised hands, "…you promised…" I whimper inaudibly.

Sully's eyes are mired in fear and shock as he realizes what he's done. All I see is that he can't help me, and I'm on my own again.

"What the hell am I doing?" He asks himself weakly and then turns to stare at Grady.

"It's okay, Sul" Grady says as he looks from Sully to myself.

But it's not okay.

Grady moves towards me and holds out his hand to me to help me up. I remain motionless on the ground. I can't pull my eyes away from Sully. I feel my fear rising in my chest until I find it hard to breathe. I see Sully struggle with his thoughts until he turns to look back at me, remorse and sadness fill his eyes.

"Sul…please…" I beg him. I need him to keep his promise. He is my last hope.

He can barely look at me but I hear speak the words I am dreading. "I can't…I can't do this…"

I hear my groans as my body fights to breathe. My vision blurs until the colors all bleed out and my world turns gray. I can't hold the memories back on my own.

_I try to hold back my cries so the bastard doesn't get any satisfaction from my pain. I can't let him win. I can't watch him destroy these people. I can't watch…so I close my eyes. He pulls at my broken finger until I moan in pain. It's as if he can read my mind as much as I can read his._

_Next he pulls at my ring finger and my screams intensify as each movement makes the pain more intolerable. I push him away with the other hand and I try to fight him off. He motions to one of his men who holds me down._

_Gap tooth grins as he forces this finger back slowly. I hate him with every fiber of my being._

_"F*ckin' bastard," I yell hoarsely, the words barely audible to my ears. He doesn't relent and keeps pushing until fire explodes in my hand and I hear another crack._

_I bawl like a baby. My body rebels against the pain by trying to shut down. But he won't let me. He takes hold of my third finger and I feebly try to tell him to stop but the words won't come out. He stares at me and I know he sees that I'll give in to him. He smiles in understanding before he pushes back hard breaking this finger too._

_He lets go of me and watches with satisfaction as I writhe in pain, my cries soundless. I'm too weak to bring my hand to my chest to try and comfort myself. I feel my body wracked by my silent sobs and I am ashamed of my weakness. I am ashamed that I couldn't stop him. I am ashamed that I let him win so easily._

I turn to my left and notice the locker room is empty. It is submersed in different shades of gray, and all other colors have disappeared. I'm sitting on the bench. I look down at my uniform, it is soaking wet.

Sully is talking, his voice low and repentant. I can't catch what he's saying, the words crest and fall with the sounds of my own screams in my head.

"…sorry…can't…sorry…it's me…not ready…sorry…don't worry…probation…speak to Lieu…sorry…partner…sorry…"

I don't have to hear the sentences to understand their meaning.

_Gap tooth approaches Squirt's father. He waves his knife still dripping with the young boy's blood in the air as he speaks. His men move in and separate the villagers. Their cries and shrieks rise through the air._

_I keep my eyes open but my body and mind are numb. I don't allow myself to feel. I tell myself that I don't know these people. I tell myself that this is not happening. I tell myself not to remember…not to let him win._

_His voice startles me. Gap tooth is yelling at Squirt's father. They face off against each other because Squirt's father won't allow him to take his screaming boy. I feel my breaths come in short bursts of terror even while I try not to feel, not to see, not to comprehend…but I do._

_I understand everything, the harsh words and evil thoughts of gap tooth and the soft, pleading mutterings from Squirt's father._

_My chest constricts even more when I hear gap tooth tell him how they will all die. I watch through a haze of pain and fear as Squirt's father puts aside all his anger and rage to respond to this threat with the only thing gap tooth cannot comprehend, love. He begs the bastard to allow him to kill his own son._

_Gap tooth smiles and then turns back to smile at me, he sees the irony and the evil in this situation, but he fails to see the love in this selfless act. He wants me to see that he has all the power. He turns back to Squirt's father and tells him that he must drown his son or his men will do what they did to Squirt._

_I cannot tear myself away from the scene unfolding before me and everything else falls away. I don't hear the frighten screams from the women who are being raped or the men who are being tortured all I see is the battle raging before me._

_Squirt's father nods in acceptance. I watch him cradle his son in his arms and coo softly to him until the boy calms and his tears stop flowing. The father talks to him so gently and lovingly that my heart hurts even more than it did before. He caresses his son tenderly and he tells him not to be afraid. He tells him about the meaning of his name, how he is destined to be a great man, how one day he will lead his people. He tells him never to forget the sound of the wind, the color of the sky and the smell of the flowers. He walks slowly to the river and tells him that it is time for him to become a man. That in order to do so he must hold his breath under water and not to be afraid because his father is here with him and will protect him forever. He kisses his son on his lips, nose, cheeks, and eyes and his son wraps his small arms around his father's neck and returns the love._

_I sob silently. I cry for the boy and his father. I cry for myself because until now I never knew how much a father could love his son. How could a father love his son that much?_

I watch Sully change. I watch him watch me. I want to speak but the icy tentacles of darkness that constrict my body and soul have silenced my voice.

The tenuous walls and defenses I have built start to crumble as I watch him leave…as he leaves me alone to fight this monster. He is just like all the others and I hear myself choke on a sob. But I won't let him win. I won't let him see me cry…I'll never let him know how much he hurt me.

_I crawl on my stomach back towards the river, towards Squirt's father. He stares at me compassionately and unafraid. He waits for me, willing to do for me what he just did for his own son and I am ready to die at his hands. I have to get back to the river._

_I focus on the boy's body lying limply by the water, his small arms floating calmly like flags in a gentle breeze. The cries behind me don't deter me and I push as hard as I can to get to my destination. Squirt's father keeps his eye on gap tooth for me; he signals to me without speaking that gap tooth is attending to other matters at the moment._

_I feel the desperation rising in me as my body weakens. I stop to try and catch my breath and I wonder if I'll ever make it. I push this thought away and continue my journey. I have to make it._

_I sharp crack sounds out and I watch as Squirt's father falls back into the river, a bullet ripping right through his chest. My scream is caught in my throat and I feel my sanity evaporate. I hear boots stomping towards me, and feel a hand pull me back roughly. I stare up into hateful, spiteful eyes._

I hear myself choke on a sob. But I won't let him win. I won't let him see me cry…I'll never let him know how much he hurt me. He can do what he wants with me know…but I won't let him see me cry.

TBC…


	23. Crazy 23

Summary: My take on why Bosco and Sully don't get along. Takes place shortly after Bosco graduates from the Police Academy

Disclaimer: I don't own Third Watch or any of its characters.

A/N: This story was previously posted on another Third Watch site but no longer available there. I was encouraged to post it here by Joey and Orison.

Thanks for your wonderful reviews.

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I need to erase it all. I need to shut down, never to feel again or to remember just like I promised myself in that godforsaken place. My insides feel like stone, hard and unforgiving. I reach for my glass and bring it to my lips. I take a swig of the golden liquid and allow myself to feel the burning sensation as it rushes down my throat.  
  
I signal for another one but the bartender shakes his head no. He removes the empty glass and turns away. I'd forgotten about Sully's orders to the bartender. I watch him as he moves towards the phone.   
  
I shout at him, "S'okay...I'm goin'..." He looks back at me, the receiver in his right hand. His orders are to call Sully if I get too drunk but Sully won't be coming to get me tonight.  
  
I toss a few bills on the counter and I leave the bar. It's okay. I don't need them. I don't need any of them. Not Sully, or Stevie or Ma or Mikey. They all wanna fix me, but they don't wanna help me. I start walking into the cold night air. I have no set destination. I just wander around aimlessly.  
  
I lose all feeling in my body but more importantly I lose all feeling in my soul. Nothing matters anymore. I don't care about anything and I don't want anyone to care about me. I just need to shut down for a while and I need a few more drinks just to knock me out.  
  
I look up at the street sign. I'm right by Faith's apartment. She told me I could come anytime and here I am. I walk up to her building and drag myself up the stairs, once inside I try to recall which door belongs to her.  
  
I think I know and knock. I stand there not knowing what the hell I'm doing here at this time of the night. Slowly the door opens and I see Faith's eyes staring back.  
  
"Bosco?" She opens the door quickly and I see her holding Charlie in her arms. "Bosco, what's the matter?" She eyes me worriedly and grabs my arm to pull me into the apartment. She leaves me standing by the door as she goes back towards the bedrooms.  
  
I make my way into her kitchen and open the fridge door. I search for beer and am not disappointed. I knew Fred would keep the fridge well stocked. I fumble around for a bottle opener when Faith reappears beside me. She looks concerned as she asks, "Bosco, are you okay?" Her eyes move down to my hands as I try to open the bottle. Once that task is accomplished I guzzle down the beer as quickly as I can.

"Bosco?"   
  
She doesn't understand. She can't understand. I open the fridge again and grab a few more bottles and place them on the counter. I open the next one and once again down it as quickly as I can.  
  
"Bosco, what's wrong?"  
  
I turn to look at her. "Nothing," I whisper.  
  
She doesn't try and stop me as I open another bottle. She waits patiently by my side. I feel my head swimming as I finish it quickly. She holds me by the elbow and guides me over to the couch. Luckily, I have the presence of mind to bring another beer with me.  
  
I flop lazily on the couch and I feel my body floating. The darkness reaches out for me and I'm finally ready to surrender to it. I'm ready to let it all go. I'm ready to never remember. I'm ready to beat the bastard at this own game. I'm ready to stop feeling.  
  
I look out at the room; Faith sits on the coffee table in front of me. The colour of her eyes and hair has all faded to grey. Everything is dark and grey, everything I see, everything I feel, everything from the inside out. I lift the bottle to my lips and let the beer flow into me. I feel my eyes shut and the darkness come to claim me. I let the bottle drop from my lifeless fingers and I hear Faith talking to me as the liquid spills over and onto my chest. I let it go. I let it all go.   
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
I feel a small hand on my face. It reminds me of sunshine and laughter and for a brief moment I believe...I slowly open my eyes and see a child peering curiously at my face. A small smile spreads across her mouth as she tilts her head to the other side. She is so beautiful.   
  
I remember...I remember how beautiful she was, how loving they all were, how bright the colours were, the freshness of the air, the sensation of their hands, the feeling of belonging. These things I let myself forget. No, these things I made myself forget. These things I didn't want to feel again.  
  
_The wind carries their voices over the short distance. I look back as they chase after us. Their high-pitched squeals and giggles make me smile. I wink at Stevie as they come running and crashing right into us. __  
  
__I feel their hands all over me. My weariness disappears as their smiles reach my eyes. The joy and exuberance they display is the perfect antidote for the tiredness pulling me down. __  
  
__I lick my cracked, dry lips. The dust swirls dance around us as the children jump excitedly. I start to mimic their antics and they laugh even harder when they see me jumping up and down just like them. __  
  
__Tiny hands reach up and pull at my jacket. I feign ignorance as they all shout and yell at me. Their voices are like music, like a choir of angels. __  
  
__I motion for them to quiet down. They all huddle closer and shush each other so not to miss a sound. I motion to Stevie who comes over and takes my rifle and pack from me. __  
  
__"Bosco, are you ever gonna grow up?" He asks jokingly and then adds, "I'm not waiting for you...you hear...I'm not getting in trouble for you again." __  
  
__"Yeah, yeah..." I wave him off. __  
  
__I drop to my hands and knees and the littlest ones jump up on my back. I grunt under their weight. There must be five of them up there. I snort and whinny as I try to buck them off. They laugh and shout as they hold on for dear life. When it becomes too much for my aching muscles, I drop down on to my stomach. I pretend to fall into an exhausted sleep. Okay, I don't need to fake it after a gruelling 10-mile hike in 100-degree weather. _

_  
__Small hands pull at me and manage to roll me onto my back. I feel them searching through my pockets for their gold. Luckily, most of the other guys offered their chocolate when I asked them for it and I strategically hid them throughout my jacket. __  
  
__Shrieks of delight waft over me as small hands burrow deep into my pockets and I allow myself to stare up at the sky. Today, soft white clouds float by. They are magnificent. I never noticed the clouds in New York; maybe I'll look up more often when I get back. __  
  
__I let my eyes drift shut as I am embraced by this joy. Eventually, their small voices leave me as they run off to share their prized possessions with their families. I feel soft, gentle hands caress my face. I look up and see Squirt, she is the only one left. She grins knowingly and holds out her hand. She knows I saved one just for her. Her soft, chocolate eyes smile down at me and she traces my eyes, my dusty nose and my cracked lips with her fingers. I reach into one of my back pockets and pull out an entire chocolate bar. She giggles excitedly as she takes the bar from my hand and hides it in her dress but she doesn't leave my side. __  
  
__She calls out to her brother who scurries away quickly. I watch the clouds float by as she talks to me gently. I am too tired to move. Her brother returns with a cup full of water and he offers it to me. Squirt traces my lips again; she sees how dry they are from the hike and she pushes the cup towards me. I take it gratefully and drink it in one big gulp. It is the sweetest water I've ever tasted. __  
  
__She gently smoothes the calluses on my palms and the scrapes on my knuckles as I hand her the cup. It's been so long since I've been touched I'd almost forgotten the feeling. This is the happiest I've felt in a long time. I lie back and revel in the moment because I don't want it to end just yet.__  
  
__My unit is getting further away and I hear my squad leader yelling for me. Stevie waves to the kids to get me up. Squirt and her brother each take one of my hands and attempt to pull me to my feet. I let them struggle for a few seconds and then pull myself into a sitting position. They laugh and point to Stevie as he motions to me wildly. They push me from behind as I stand and move me towards my unit. I turn around and run backwards. They laugh uncontrollably as they watch me wave goodbye._  
  
Oh God, it hurts. It hurts to remember. I close my eyes in shame.  
  
My chest seizes with fear. Cold iciness floods my veins and my very being as I fight to push it all away. Oh God, what have I done?   
  
"Emily, what are you doing?" Faith shouts from the other room.  
  
Her small face nears mine as she peers into my eyes. "Mommy, Uncle Bosco's having a bad dream." She continues to stroke my cheek as she coos to me softly, "it's okay...its okay, Uncle Bosco." She says as if she's imitating her mother.  
  
If I could make myself stop breathing, I would, to stop this pain.   
  
"Bosco?" Faith enters the room holding Charlie in one arm. She sets him down in his playpen and comes over towards me. She pulls Emily away and touches her hand to my forehead.  
  
I don't feel her...I don't feel a thing because the cold has taken over. I'm so cold. My breathing becomes more laboured and I fight to get up.  
  
"Bosco, wait. Tell me what's wrong." Faith helps me to my feet as I look for the door. "Bosco, where are you going?"  
  
I hold onto her and the back of the couch for support. She looks at me worriedly and tries to hold me back but I can't stay here. I need to rectify what I've done. "I'm...going back," I murmur weakly.  
  
She looks at me in confusion. I push past her and latch on to the door. I manage to open it easily. I stumble across the threshold as I hear Faith picking up the phone and dialling.  
  
I turn back and I watch Emily as she stands in the doorway, waving goodbye.  
  
My eyes lose their focus and my thoughts drift into a haze of black as I turn and make my way out.   
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------

The river calls to me. Its black depths are endless to my eyes.

It hurt so much to remember that I discarded everything and everyone, every feeling and emotion connected to them. They deserved so much more than this, so much more than me.  
  
The sun up above is cold and black. There is no warmth in the world I've created. My thoughts are black. My heart is black. I have become what I despised most in this world. I have become a monster like gap tooth.  
  
I stand motionless as I hear them call to me. I feel like a child again, torn between two parents, each pulling at me for their own reasons. On one side is gap tooth; he's taunting me to tell everyone what he did. I don't want the world to know of his evil, I can't let him win.  
  
On the other side the villagers stand silently watching me. They don't speak but their pull is just as strong. They need me to be their voice but I chose to cut myself off from them, from the pain.  
  
I feel the black veil descending down on me, suffocating the life out of me. I can't breathe, I can't feel, I _can't think. I won't let him see me cry...I'll never let him know how much he hurt me. __  
  
__I am powerless to stop him. I'm finished, spent, and incapable of mutiny or rebellion. My body is like dead weight, my soul like the darkness. _

_That's when I build it; the shelter that will keep everything out and just as importantly everything in. I bury myself deep under the rubble of despair. There is no foundation; there is no exit. There is only darkness, and nothingness. These things will protect me from myself. They will protect me from him.__  
  
__I hear the villagers' screams but they mean nothing to me. I see the blood but pray it is not mine. __  
  
__My eyes lose their focus. Sounds don't register except for my own breathing. I am caught in this never land between living and dying. _   
  
That was my choice then.  
  
My feet bring me closer to the water. My breaths are much too harsh. I can feel an immense pressure on my chest. It threatens to smother me.   
  
My body is exposed to the elements; it is cold to the point of shivering.  
  
I look for them. My eyes scan the shore in an effort to locate them. I don't stop walking. I don't stop searching. They are not here.   
  
Everything is black.  
  
_Awareness returns to me like a jolt of electricity. My heart beats so fast it flutters. The quiet is frightening and I pray for darkness again. I try to steady my breathing. I don't want to open my eyes. I don't want to give myself away. __  
  
__I hear his voice close by. I try to let myself fall back into the darkness. It is my only escape. __  
  
Then, __I hear them coming. Their squeals are not joyous. Their shrieks are panicked. Despite my best efforts, I feel the pain rushing into my body and I can't help but open my eyes. __  
  
__The children...oh god...the children..._  
  
This time it can be different. This time...I will let myself feel.  
  
I look for them in the water. I slide down the embankment. I brace my feet against the ice and snow to stop at the bottom.  
  
My head turns from one side to the other. They have to be here. I didn't come back for nothing. I didn't come all this way for nothing. They have to be here.  
  
I wade in slowly. The assault begins as soon as I step into the water and I stop when the pain invades me. It feels like knives and I know it will tear me apart.  
  
I close my eyes and steady my breathing. I am afraid but determined. I'm going back.  
  
_He grabs me by the collar. He drags me back to the river and I don't even cry out for mercy. He only knows hate and evil. He grabs my hand and takes my fractured fingers and twists and twists until I scream. He forces me to look into their eyes. __  
  
__Their small bodies lie in the water. Brightly coloured clothes contrast sharply against the darkness of the river. Their limbs buoy gently on the surface. Their faces are frozen in silent terror. __  
  
__The water flows peaceful over their still forms. Their eyes stare up into the deep blue sky, into the bright sunshine. How could this be? Why is the sun still shining? Why are the stones not weeping? Can't they see? Can't anyone see what he's done? __  
  
__I choke back the cries. The children.... I can't do this. I moan in agony. I have to make it stop. I can't survive this pain. __  
  
__Gap tooth pulls my head back and laughs before shoving it into the water. I am surrounded by their frightened voices, their hands grasp for me in fear and pain. I try to fight him off. I need to get away form here. The shelter I've built is not enough to protect me from this. __  
  
__He pulls me back up and stares right at me. I sputter and try to turn away. I can't stand to look at him. He doesn't relent. He keeps repeating...remember this...remember this...remember this...remember... __  
  
__"No," I say tremulously and shake my head to show him. But he knows that I can't stop him and he laughs, as do his men. This laughter is tainted. They are all telling me...remember this...remember this...and I try to hold them back with a shake of my head. I realize I don't stand a chance. _  
  
I wheeze to try and pull some air into my body. I can't tell whether the pain or the fear is constricting my airway and I need oxygen to keep myself upright so I can continue my search.  
  
I am ready. I continue my forward motion painfully. I can hardly lift my feet and the push of the current menaces to bring me down. Please god, let them be here. I need to do what I couldn't to then.   
  
_"Stop," I whisper hoarsely. I grab at gap tooth. My enemy has become my saviour. He knows that I'll promise him anything to make the pain stop. __  
  
__He nods to me and I hear him tell me, remember this...remember this... __  
  
__"Yes," I mutter and let mind float as my body slackens. I see the disgust and hatred in his eyes as the grin disappears from his face. I beg him silently to end this, my lips moving wordlessly. But he knows what I want and he nods to me. He shoves my head down hard into the dark waters and I swallow a sea of hurt knowing that I won't ever have to feel this pain again. __  
  
__I thought that would be the end, and in my confused state I had no choice but to trust him. I was painfully wrong, he never meant to keep his promise to me. He never meant to kill me. Never. _  
  
I hear my name. Someone is calling to me. I look down at the water. It covers me to my hips. The river was never this deep. I must be looking for them in the wrong place.  
  
I turn around slowly. I feel my body shaking violently. I look up and see Faith. She stands on the shore calling to me. I can't make a move towards her because my body is unable to act against this moment. I have to go back. I can't stop now.  
  
I see her move towards me but she hesitates at the waters edge. "Bosco, come back out." She waves her hand towards me and her face shows the worry and concern she feels. But its too late for me, I'm to far down this path and they deserve better.  
  
My mind whirls towards itself, towards the darkness. This time I'm ready. I see him laugh his gap tooth laugh and scream to me 'remember this'. For once my defiance is in my acceptance and I let it all go. I let all my hatred for him go and turn towards the villagers.   
  
My heart and soul are ripped in two and I feel the intense agony of knowing. My body is unable to hold itself up because the pain is radiating from the inside out. I choose to remember...I choose to remember...these are my last thoughts as the grief blinds me and my breath is cut short. I try to speak but am unable to make a sound as I descend into the depths of my blackened soul.   
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------

"Bosco," Faith screams as see watches him navigate away from her and into the treacherous waters of the icy river.  
  
"Bosco, please come back." She stops at the waters edge as if some invisible barrier is keeping her from entering. The sheer danger of going in after him is preventing her from moving. She looks around for help, but her vision is obstructed by the height of the embankment.  
  
Her common sense is telling her to stay put. She can't help him if the current drags them both down but her nervousness increases as he staggers away from her and deeper into the river. He won't be able to resist the cold for much longer.  
  
"Bosco." He doesn't bother to turn and look back this time. She watches him intently, trying to think of someway to help him. Her mind is racing as he stumbles and lurches forward. He loses his footing and is pulled down below the water.  
  
"BOSCO." His hands flail as he tries to regain his balance, but the current over powers him and he sinks. Faith stares at the spot where he went down, praying he resurfaces momentarily, but the seconds tick by without any sign of him.  
  
"BOSCO." Her eyes scan the river desperately. She debates going in after him although she knows how foolish that would be. Her body and mind are warring between staying and going and the indecision immobilizes her.  
  
"Faith."   
  
She spins around quickly and sees Sully scrambling down the embankment.  
  
"Where is he?" Sully's eyes are darting nervously from Faith to the water.  
  
"He's in there," Faith shouts frantically and pointing ahead.  
  
"In the water?" The terror in Sully's question is evident.  
  
Faith nods her head and continues to stare at the point in the river where she last saw Bosco.  
  
"Son of a bitch. Son of a bitch!" Sully paces furiously from side to side. . His mind is spinning uncontrollably with possibilities. He stops suddenly, his training kicking in, and turns back to Faith. "Faith, go get help."  
  
Faith shakes her head no but her body moves backwards towards the embankment.  
Sully senses her confusion and shouts at her. "Go, Faith! NOW."  
  
Faith stares at Sully for a moment before she understands his orders. She nods and runs up the embankment and towards the street.  
  
Sully rakes his hand across his head as he struggles to breathe. He turns back to the water and walks along the shore in the direction of the current. He stops for a moment then rips his jacket off and strides into the water. The iciness of the river cuts his breath and he is unable to go in any deeper. His eyes flit anxiously over the surface of the river.  
  
"BOSCO!" He shouts at the top of his lungs as he looks down river. He scans the surface of the water for any sign of him. Time seems to be standing still as he stands frozen to the spot. His fear increases as the situation begins to look more and more impossible.  
  
He catches a glimpse of movement about 100 feet away and his chest seizes with hope and dread all at the same time.  
  
"Bosco..." he murmurs inaudibly into the air.  
  
He moves back to the shore but never breaks the lock he has on the distant flow of water. He starts to jog and then run towards it as he realizes what he sees.  
  
"BOSCOOOO!"   
  
He runs as fast as he can before he comes to a crashing halt, falling to his knees on the rocks in the shallow water.  
  
"Oh God! Bosco!" Sully grabs Bosco's lifeless arms and struggles to haul his waterlogged and boneless body completely out of the frigid water. Bosco's lips are blue and his face is ashen. Sully pants as he let's go and watches Bosco's arms flop limply to the ground.  
  
"Bosco, don't do this to me," Sully cries out and kneels next to Bosco's still body. He shakes Bosco by the shoulders and watches a small amount of water spill out of Bosco's mouth. The sight of the trickling water spurs Sully into action.  
  
"Bosco, you gotta breathe," Sully yells. He pushes hard on Bosco's abdomen. Bosco's head rolls back and to the side as his body arches slightly from the pressure being applied. A gush of water exits silently from his mouth.  
  
Sully grunts with the effort of trying to push down when his limbs are numb with cold. He realizes that Bosco feels like ice to him and he pushes aside his own pain and forges on. Twice more Sully presses forcefully and each time foamy liquid spatters out of Bosco's mouth.  
  
"C'mon Bosco," Sully mutters breathlessly. On the next thrust Bosco coughs and chokes as water spurts out of his mouth and nose. He groans loudly as he tries to take in some air against the water choking him. He coughs weakly and suddenly takes a huge wheezing breath. His eyes open wide with fear.  
  
"Bosco." Sully takes a hold of Bosco's shoulders and pulls him on his side to ease his coughing. He stares at Bosco and notices how frighteningly dark his eyes have become.  
  
Bosco begins to shake uncontrollably and wheezes again as he fights to get air into his weakened body. He tries to move his arms but shivering and trembling overtake him and he is unable to control his movements. He manages to turn his head towards the sun but groans deeply before blinking away the light.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------_The bastard never meant to keep his promise. The torture is endless. He dunks me into the water until I'm about to pass out but pulls me out before I can find any release from this world. My body fights for air against my will. __  
  
__When he tires of this game, he drops me on the shore by the children and walks back towards his men. I lie there gasping for mercy. I just want this to end...oh god, please make this end. __  
  
__I see gap tooth like a mirage in the distance, sitting with his men, unwrapping Squirt's chocolate bar. The chocolate bar I brought for her. Not for him. For her...for her...I brought it for her and the bastard took it off her dead body. __  
  
__I don't want to cry. I hold it all in. I want to bury it in a deep dark place. My body jerks as I try to pull my mind away from this place and my hand brushes against one of the boys in the water. My mind stops struggling and my body stills as I turn my eyes to look at him. I owe him at least this much. __  
  
__His hand is outstretched before me, calling to me to hold it. I shift my hand clumsily until I can grasp his fingers. I know how crazy this sounds, but although it's too late, I need to comfort him. I take his small hand in mine and feel a kind of peace invade me because I feel the forgiveness in his touch. The depth of his generosity overwhelms me and I am unable to pull away. __  
  
__My heart fills with an agonizing void as my vision clouds over with a white haze. Shapes and colours fade and merge in a mesmerizing display. Sounds become muffled and distant but I recognize the voices calling to me. I hear the children whispering with their joyful sing-songy voices...remember this. __  
  
__I remember how I didn't even try to help them when they needed me most. I remember how I closed myself off from their screams, from their fears, from their last breaths. I remember how I turned away and abandoned them and now...now, despite all this, they still forgive me. __  
  
__Their voices call to me joyfully. Their hands reach for me and try to comfort me. Their eyes look for me and their smiles brighten my weariest moments. _  
  
I know what they need from me...and I choose to remember.  
  
I take a painful breath and open my eyes. The darkness is gone and I am assaulted by life. The sunlight rushes into each of my senses. Colours blind me and threaten to slash into my brain. The dazzling crispness of the deep blue sky menaces to shatter me. The air around me devours me and fills me with intense pain. My skin is on fire and my lungs burn with every feeble breath.  
  
I blink against the world and see a lone figure floating above me. I have found the courage to tell him what I couldn't say then. I try to speak but am wracked by the pain of being alive again. I choke and cough as I fight to tell him that I've made my choice.  
  
"The ch-children," I stutter forcefully before a stabbing pain rips into me and renders me helpless to tell him over and over again that this time, he won't win.  
  
TBC... 


	24. Crazy 24

Summary: My take on why Bosco and Sully don't get along. Takes place shortly after Bosco graduates from the Police Academy

Disclaimer: I don't own Third Watch or any of its characters.

A/N: Alas, this is the final chapter for Crazy. For those of you wondering about the chapter number, although there were 30 chapters posted on the now defunct 55 David, this is the same story except for the merging of several chapters and some minor edits.

For those of you who are reading it for the second time, I hope you have enjoyed it as much as the first.

To everyone else, I hope you enjoy the conclusion, so please let me know what you think

Once again, thank you for your wonderful reviews.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Someone HELP!" Sully screams frantically at the top of his lungs.  
  
His quivering hands hesitate before grabbing hold of Bosco's shoulders and shaking him hard.  
  
"You can't do this to me," he says angrily and then as if sensing the gravity of the situation repeats the phrase with a quiet desperation, "you can't do this to me...again."  
  
Sully stops to eye Bosco, but it's not who he sees. He looks up at the sky with a pleading look. "Please, don't let this happen," his voice quivers with untold emotion as he closes his eyes against the tears.  
  
Bosco moans and wheezes weakly as his body revolts against the wet iciness clinging to his body.   
  
"Davis..." Sully whispers hopefully as he turns his eyes back towards Bosco's prone body. He stares in stunned silence as he realizes this is not Davis, and Davis is never coming back.  
  
"Sully - the ambulance is on its way." Faith shouts as she rushes towards them. She's clutching Sully's coat that he left on the shore when he waded into the water. She stares at them and hurriedly throws the coat over Bosco as she reaches down and feels his forehead and cheek.  
  
"He's freezing," she states in silent disbelief.  
  
Sully seems to be in his own world and doesn't react to her statement.   
  
"Sully. Sully!" Faith grabs his arm until he turns towards her. "We need to lift him off the ground." She stares back into Sully's confused eyes and then adds, "he's too cold," as the explanation for her request.  
  
Sully nods and pulls at Bosco roughly. Bosco moans and his breath hitches slightly and he grimaces with each movement.  
  
"Take it easy, Sul." Faith says gently before placing the coat under Bosco and nodding for Sully to lower him back to the ground. Faith grabs the ends of the oversized coat and wraps it tightly against Bosco. She pulls the hood up over his head and notices the ice particles forming in his hair and how violently he is shaking.   
  
"Sully, go up there and wait for the ambulance." Faith juts her chin up to signal where Sully should wait. He stares at her in confusion.  
  
"Sul, you need to show the paramedics where we are, ok?"  
  
"Yeah...okay," he murmurs.  
  
Faith watches him as he shakily makes his way over the embankment. She turns her eyes back to Bosco who is having more difficulty breathing as each breath comes in short bursts.   
  
-------------------------------------------------------------

Sound and the light weave their way into my consciousness and pull me back to the world. The rushing sound invading my ears reminds me of the river as it rises to a frenzied crescendo. I try to jerk away from the darkness but with increasing wakefulness comes intense pain. It is so dizzying that it hurts to breathe. It hurts to live. It hurts to allow myself to feel what I buried under a thousand layers of denial. I fight to stay afloat even as I feel myself sinking back into the darkness.  
  
Hands grab on to me and shake me awake as they force their essence into my body. How do I tell them? How do I tell them I can feel again and that's its killing me.  
  
These hands are rough as they grab my shoulders and push and pull me. There is anger and overwhelming fear in them. I know this is Sully. I understand that he needs to let me go for his own sake, or his fear will kill him.   
  
More hands, but these are soft and gentle. They exude compassion and worry, like my mother. But there are not my mother's. Faith. Her warmth helps to still me for a moment before the fear and anger, the compassion and worry meld into my body and join the warring emotions battling to emerge from the prison of my soul.  
  
The images and memories come in waves. The pain follows in torrents and I am drowning from the inside out.  
  
---------------------------------------------------------------------   
  
Sully paces nervously in the waiting room. We've been here for quite a while and still no word on Bosco. Sully stops suddenly and makes a move towards the trauma room. One of the orderlies posted outside holds out his hand and prevents Sully from entering.  
  
"He's my partner," Sully pants. "He's my partner, I can't leave him." Sully's eyes dart around pleadingly for someone to help.  
  
"We'll take good care of him, but you need to wait out here so we can work," the orderly explains calmly. This is the third time Sully's tried to go into the room in the last 20 minutes.  
  
The orderly motions in my direction as a signal for help and I walk over to them as he grabs Sully's arm and turns him towards me. "You and your friend can wait out here and we'll come out and give you information as soon as we can," he says softly.  
  
I take hold of Sully's arm and pull him but he resists. "Sul, they need to work and we'll only get in the way." He refuses to look away from the door of the trauma room.  
  
"They'll kill him...he won't make it. You don't understand, I need to stop it," he mutters incoherently.  
  
I pull even harder at his arm but Sully refuses to budge and instead, he attempts to return to the room.  
  
The orderly and I manage to restrain him but when Bosco's groans become agonizingly loud, Sully pushes past the both of us and into the room.   
  
"Take your hands off him," Sully shouts to one of the nurses holding Bosco down by the shoulders.   
  
The doctor looks up and yells to the orderly, "get him out of here, now."  
  
Sully makes a move towards the nurse who seems to recognize Sully. "I said, let – him- go," Sully says menacingly.  
  
Bosco is struggling to remove the oxygen mask from his face although he's still shaking and trembling uncontrollably despite the interventions of the doctors and nurses.  
  
The orderly grabs at Sully who fights him off. A couple of security guards run in and restrain Sully who is losing control. I try to intervene. "Sul, please, they're trying to help him. We need to wait outside."   
  
"They're killing him. Can't you see it?" He yells desperately and struggles against all of us.  
  
In the ensuing confusion, I don't notice Mrs. Boscorelli entering the room followed by a young man. "What's wrong with Maurice," she cries out to the doctor. I stop to look at her as she reaches out for her son.  
  
"Who are you?" Asks the doctor.  
  
"I'm his mother."  
  
"Mrs. Boscorelli, please stop them. They're killing him." Sully sobs to her as he's being pulled out of the room forcefully.  
  
Mrs. Boscorelli looks from Sully to the doctor as another orderly tries to escort her out of the room.  
  
The young man who accompanied her moves silently to Bosco's side while everyone else is distracted. He takes Bosco's hand and smoothes back the hair off his forehead before leaning in and whispering something to him.   
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------   
  
The emptiness inside of my body fills. It fills with the ache that comes with my fight to live with every breath that I take in. I try to limit the amount of oxygen in order to stem the tide of pain ripping through me. But the more it hurts the more air I need.  
  
I must be in a hospital because the hands touching me feel clinical. There are many hands but they don't comfort me and they don't ease my pain.  
  
I try to remove the mask that covers my mouth and supplies me with fresh oxygen. It hurts to breathe; it hurts to be alive again. I need to slow it down.  
  
Hands hold me down, but these hands are not like the others. They are full of annoyance and indifference. They remind me of her, that crazy nurse from my last visit. I want her away from me. I want her to let me go. I struggle but her hands overpower me.  
  
Someone is shouting. Someone is scared. I can feel it all around me. I can feel the fear and I need someone who can make it stop.  
  
The air in the room thickens with emotion. I continue to struggle, trying not to breathe too much. I can't take on this new pain. I need someone to take away some of my pain.  
  
Hands settle on me but this time they are different. These hands know. These hands accept my pain. The hands understand my guilt. I struggle to open my eyes.  
  
I'm allowed to raise my hand to my face. These hands understand as they reach out and pull the mask away for me. I slow down my breathing and struggle to regain control but the pain is constant.  
  
I hear a nurse asking me, "Where does it hurt?"  
  
My eyes focus until I can make him out. I don't even try to speak because he understands, he knows.  
  
He places his hand over his heart as he stares into my eyes. Yes, that's where it hurts. He knows...and he feels it too.  
  
_I eye the dusty fields in the distance and watch the heat shimmering off the burnt earth as we march back to camp. The days here seem endless. They are a never-ending parade of waking up tired, patrolling to exhaustion, constant hunger and thirst, and sleeping restlessly. __  
  
__The heat and dustiness of this place overpowers all of us and saps us of our strength. The constant tension of waiting for something to happen is taking its toll. I trudge behind Stevie and although I know I shouldn't, my mind drifts to the number of days we have left in this tour and I begin to calculate silently. __  
  
__I should be paying attention to my surroundings because this area is new for our squad and it's our first march in this sector. __  
  
__A village appears up ahead and I notice the quietness that surrounds it. My eyes are automatically drawn to the gathering at the center of the village. __  
  
__A body lies on a wooden structure. As we near I notice it is an elderly woman. The villagers line up around the body as each one in turn pays their last respects. __  
  
__A small girl captures my attention as she sobs and clutches the dead woman before kissing her repeatedly on the lips and hands. Her parents try to comfort her with gentle strokes on her back. She finally tears herself away and turns towards us. __  
  
__She tries bravely to hide her sorrow from us by pursing her lips as she sniffles to hold back the tears. Her small hand swipes at her cheeks and I watch her strength evaporate, as the villagers begin to chant their last goodbyes before lighting the funeral pyre. __  
  
__I stop and stare as I'm taken back to my own childhood. To the death of my grandmother and the pain it caused me. I can still remember every moment from the time my mom broke the news to Mikey and me to the time Ma and Pa got home from the funeral. __  
  
__I had never cried so much in my whole life and I probably never will again. __  
  
__I feel those memories resurfacing until I can almost smell the fragrance of my grandmother's perfume. I feel hot tears forming and I try to blink them away. I spot the little girl watching me intently and I look down to avoid her gaze as I slow my pace down to distance myself from the rest of the guys because they wouldn't understand. __  
  
__A tear escapes my eyes and rolls down my cheek. I tell myself it's just the fatigue playing games with my mind and emotions. I can't help but pull my helmet off and stare at the pictures of Ma and Mikey. I miss them so much and I feel utterly alone at this very moment. I bite my lower lip to keep from breaking down right here and now. __  
  
__I exhale slowly as I place the helmet back on my head and look up towards the little girl. She seems to know, to understand my thoughts. I can't explain it but I feel like I've known her all my life. __  
  
__She stars at me as she wraps her arms around herself. I watch her shoulders shake as she hiccups from her crying. __  
  
__I take my right hand and place it over my over my heart because I know she's hurting and I understand her pain and I want her to know she's not alone.__  
  
__She nods in response and then places her own small hand over her heart. I feel like she looking right through, that she sees everything I feel, that I am not alone. Slowly she turns back towards the ceremony. __  
  
__I look for my unit and I see Stevie watching me. He waits for me to catch up and when I rejoin him he doesn't say a word and we march silently back to camp._  
  
I hear myself moaning with each small breath. I hear the wheezing of the air through my throat as I fight to control my breathing. The grief that I never allowed myself to feel is flooding into my body. Taking over the space between every cell and every breath. Constricting my lungs, burning through my flesh, tearing my soul.  
  
I try to move my hand but my movements are jerky and clumsy. Stevie understands and takes hold of my wrist and places my hand over my heart and that's when I feel the floodgates open.

The pain is too intense. Every thought generates another long forgotten memory and allows it to float to the surface before another one replaces it.  
  
_Remember this...the children clapping joyfully as they sing...Squirt's brother trying my helmet on for size and the way it keeps falling over his eyes...Squirt's crooked grin when she looks back and sees me signal that I have one more piece of chocolate for her...the villagers gathering solemnly as we march past the village...Stevie laughing heartily as my Sarge reams me out for lagging behind the unit...Squirt, gingerly placing her hand in mine to slip me the necklace she made for me... the sun glistening off the river as the children play happily...the bloodstains on her dress...the echo of her screams...the feel of her hand._  
  
Every memory hurts, both the good and the bad.  
  
I thought I could beat him at his own game. I thought I could stop him.  
  
I was wrong.  
  
I am wrong.

---------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
I am disoriented by the juxtaposition of light and dark, hot and cold, dull ache and searing pain. Just like in my dream, just like in real life, I am helpless to stop it; I am helpless to fight it.  
  
I struggle to steady my breathing. Each rush of air brings more pain, more sadness, and more memories. I hear someone crying softly and I strain to listen. I feel a shiver run through me when I realize it's me.  
  
I take a slow shuddering breath and feel a hand at the back of my neck. For the first time in a long time, it doesn't scare me. This thought alone causes me to cry harder and I don't even attempt to hold back the tears. I can't.   
  
I can't because he's still with me, no matter what I said or what I did, he would never leave me. He would never desert me. Just like when I was in the hospital over there, Stevie would not leave my side, he would not let me go.  
  
Now like then, he has become my voice when I can't speak. I hear him ordering people around, protecting me from the interventions that won't help because he knows my needs, and he feels my pain.  
  
I try to speak but before I can make a sound I feel him squeeze my hand and call to me.  
  
I try to swallow, I try to tell him, but all I can manage is a nod of my head as I choke on my tears.  
  
"Bosco, I promise. I won't tell you. Please believe me...I won't tell you again." Stevie's words float over me and soothe me. I need him to know that he doesn't have to keep his promise.  
  
I hear myself groan pitifully as I try to speak. I stare up and see the sadness in his eyes. Suddenly, I feel the weight of the world lifting off my shoulders as I realize I am not alone in my grief.  
  
My eyesight blurs and my mind reels with the images of him looming over me as I remember lying helplessly on the ground, with the sound of helicopter blades slicing through the dusty air.  
  
I made him promise not to tell me what he saw and he never asked me why, or what happened. Not once. He never allowed anyone to question me. He did his best to do what I asked of him. No matter how much he was hurting.   
  
-----------------------------------------------------------------------   
  
Rose rubs Bosco's arm while Stevie rests uncomfortably in the chair by the bed.  
  
Bosco continues to sob quietly as his breaths shudder slightly. Rose pushes back his damp hair from his forehead. She stares at him and wonders how he seems to be inconsolable even in his sleep.  
  
"Shhhh...baby, please don't cry...don't..." Rose coos to him gently.  
  
Her thoughts turn back to the day at his apartment, when his harsh words hurt her deeply.  
  
"I know you didn't mean what you said...I know you were hurting, baby." Rose caresses his cheek and hopes her words are getting through to him.  
  
"You said you wished you had never been born. I want you to know that the day you were born was the happiest day of my life." Rose says as she wipes a tear from her cheek.  
  
"You are the best thing that's ever happened to me. You hear me Maurice? The best thing, and I don't know what I would do without you. Please, please come back to me. Don't leave me. Don't ever leave me." Rose cries softly and lays her head on Bosco chest. She just needs to hear his heart beating. She needs to know he's here with her.   
  
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bosco's dreams frighten him. His sweat soaked body writhes and twists from his invisible demons. His breathing becomes laboured every time he is in the throes of another nightmare.  
  
Mrs. Boscorelli wipes his face with a wet cloth. She refuses to leave his side and so do I. He needs me more than he ever has, and I need him to be okay. I need him to be okay because I should have never let him go out that day by himself.  
  
It's really childish now that I think about it. I was mad at him because whenever he got in trouble, we both got punished. So, we both got put on latrine duty because he just couldn't keep his big mouth shut. And as usual, I was guilty by association.  
  
So, after cleaning out the latrines on the previous day, I vowed that I wouldn't hang out with him as much. When the airport pick-up duty became available, I made sure I was busy with something else. Bosco, of course, jumped at the opportunity to get away from our camp. I knew he would make a stop at the village when he went around asking everyone for their chocolate rations.  
  
The worst thing about it all was that I ate my chocolate before he had a chance to ask me for it. I was acting like a spoiled brat and he had no clue.  
  
When the call came in later that day that he never made it to the airport, I was afraid that I'd never see him again. But I got lucky, and I was the one who found him all bloodied and broken not far from the village.  
  
I was afraid he would die right there in my arms. But if there's one thing I can say about Maurice Boscorelli, it's that he's the toughest son-of-a bitch that I've ever known and dying in that God forsaken land, as he liked to call it, was not an option.  
  
I move closer to the bed and reach out to try and ease his pain. I take hold of his hand and watch him turn his face towards me. His eyes flicker open and search before settling on me. It reminds of the way he looked when I found him that day.  
  
Then as in now, I would have promised him anything. I would have done anything to make sure he was okay because in the end, it was partly my fault that he was out there on his own.  
  
And in my mind, there was no greater sin than breaking my pact to him. We had promised to never desert each other no matter how bad things got. I never realized that it would not be during a fierce battle when fear and the survival instinct takeover that I would go back on my word but during an ordinary day, with nothing special happening, because of petty anger and spitefulness.  
  
I feel a tear escape and roll down my cheek. My shame forces me to try and pull away from him but his grip is strong and he refuses to let me go.  
  
"S-Stay," he whispers softly then turns to his mother, he tries to utter another word but is overcome and is incapable of speaking again. He pulls my hand over his chest and holds it there as he closes his eyes and lets the tears flow freely.   
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
My dreams are invaded by darkness and fear. But, I know they are just dreams. This is the last battleground for my soul.  
  
I am pulled down by grotesque images, evil faces, distorted landscapes, and blackened souls reaching for me, dragging me down, pulling me under.  
  
I struggle to emerge from this endless void but fighting them doesn't help. Giving in to them doesn't make a difference.  
  
Grief overtakes me and allows some release from the dreams but not from the pain. It comes and goes, immense as the ocean tides, as small as the touch of a hand.  
  
I'm asleep and awake all at the same time. Dreams, memories and reality intertwine to create a new consciousness as I am caught between past and present. I still need someone to pull me put of here. I can't do it alone.  
  
A wet cloth cleanses me while my mother tries to heal my hurts. I need her here by me. I need to her to guide me away from the darkness. She speaks to me in hushed whispers. I don't need to hear the words but I feel her love.  
  
Stevie's here but he tries to pull away. I hold on, I can't let him go. He knows my pain. He feels my guilt and I feel his. He needs me to forgive him and I will. I'll do anything to keep him here by me. He keeps my head above the water. He keeps from the depths of the river. He keeps me alive.

I push my eyes open and search for him. He looks like he did that day. When he found me, he held me so close that I could feel him willing me to live, protecting me from the evil, loving me despite what I had become.

I pull his hand over my heart. He is the reason I'm still here. I close my eyes and remember floating over the river, looking down at it from the helicopter as Stevie cradled me in his arms. For that one tiny instant I felt human again.  
  
For the first time in a long time, I feel human again as I reach out for help, for forgiveness, for understanding, and for comfort from another person. He doesn't pull away and he lets me take what I need. He pulls me out of the murkiness once more.

My moans turn to sobs. Hot, stinging tears burning tracks on my cheeks as I feel him take my pain. He holds me tightly and I hear him whisper, "I know, Bosco...I know."   
  
--------------------------------------------------------

I stand in front of Sully's door. I feel nervousness overtake me as I prepare to knock. I take a deep breath and tap forcefully on the faded wood. I have come with one thing in mind; I need to let him off the hook, to give him a reason to think it's okay not to ride with me again. I know he feels responsible for me, but I also know his fear of what happened to Davis will kill him if we stay together. I don't want that for Sully.  
  
I bounce nervously as I listen for sounds. My blood seizes as I hear shuffling and the locks turning. I'm not so sure I can go ahead with this anymore. I don't want to hurt him.  
  
Sully swings the door open and stares at me in surprise before speaking. "Uh, hi Bosco. I...uh....how are you feeling?"  
  
I clear my throat and shuffle nervously. "Good. I'll be back on patrol tomorrow."  
  
Sully grunts before getting a worried look on his face.  
  
I make the first move. "Can I come in?" I ask tentatively.  
  
"Oh, yeah...sure." Sully looks slightly embarrassed as he moves away from the door and allows me to enter his apartment.  
  
I stand in the entrance and wait for him to close the door. I feel the need to jam my hands into my pockets and turn away from him as I take another deep breath.  
  
"You want something to drink?" He offers.  
  
"No," I shake my head, "I'm not staying long. I need to talk to you about tomorrow." There I finally got it out, but I still feel extremely nervous because I'm not sure if this is gonna work.   
  
"Uh...yeah...tomorrow." Sully mumbles and moves to take a seat on his couch.  
  
I shuffle around nervously and stare at the wilting wallpaper in front of me. I put my game face and slouch indifferently as I turn to face him.  
  
"Yeah, we gotta get a few things straightened out before we ride together again," I say in my best bratty, arrogant voice. I see Sully's eyebrows shoot up instantly at my tone.  
  
"First, I'm not taking anymore of your crap. You hear me? I'm not Maurice to you, I'm Bosco and I'm not your little errand boy, running to fetch your donuts and coffee."  
  
Sully looks like he's about to speak but I cut him off before he can get a word out. I have to strike again while the iron is hot and before I lose my resolve.  
  
"And while you're at it, you should try losing some weight because I don't wanna be seen with a fat ass while I'm out patrolling the streets."  
  
Sully doesn't even look phased by what I've said. He doesn't take my bait.  
  
"Bosco, is this about the night at the river." Sully looks down at his feet and clasps his hands nervously. "I shouldn't have hit you. I don't know what the hell I was thinking. I'm sorry."

I see the guilt and shame in his eyes. He won't let me go. He wants to make amends. He still wants to be my partner. I turn away from him as I realize he wants to keep his promise to me no matter what it will do to him. I see the irony of the situation as I finally found someone who won't abandon me. But, I won't let him go through with it. I can't do that to him. So, I harden myself against his selflessness and ram into him at full speed.

"Sorry ain't gonna cut it. I need a partner I can trust, and I can see that you're not the one. Maybe I should ask your previous partner."

I watch Sully's expression change at the mention of Davis. "Why you ungrateful little brat." Sully lunges for me and slams me up against the wall.  
  
"I warned you, Sully. Don't you touch me," I say angrily. "You're not my father. You're just an old, lazy cop trying to stay out of trouble until you get to your pension."  
  
"Yeah, well if I was your father, I would have beat the crap out of you just like he did." Sully yells bitterly.

And with that, I know I have him hooked. I swallow hard, hoping my voice won't betray me. "Well, you're not my father so take a number if you wanna have a crack at me."  
  
Sully pushes himself away and rakes his hand through his hair. I can see his hands trembling slightly and I try to steady my breathing by focussing on peeling wallpaper.  
  
Sully's voice is low and threatening as he starts to talk. "It's over between us. I'll tell Lieu –"

I don't let him finish. "Don't bother. I'm gonna go see him later today and get this settled. You don't have to ride with me anymore."  
  
I back away quickly and turn the doorknob before walking out without as much as a look back. I don't even bother to close the door behind me as I rush to leave. I feel my eyes fill with tears and I swallow a sob as I run down the stairs. I won't let him see me cry...I'll never let him know how much this hurt me.   
  
--------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
I look for Faith at the park. Fred said the kids were antsy from being cooped up so Faith took them out for a while.  
  
I spot them making snow angels. I walk slowly, not wanting to disturb them. They giggle and laugh as they look back at their creations.   
  
Faith sees me approaching and stands first. "You guys keep making angels, I'll be right here." Faith walks towards me as pull my coat collar tighter against my neck.   
  
"Hey, what's up?" She asks as she laughs and looks back at Emily and Charlie.  
  
"I wanted to thank you for helping me...you know..." I avert my eyes from her gaze but she senses my nervousness and doesn't question me about what happened at the river that day.  
  
"How are you feeling?" She asks as she glances back at her kids.   
  
"Good. But, I came by to talk to you about work. I was wondering if you needed a new partner now that Washington is retiring." I look up at her and wonder if I look as desperate as I sound.  
  
"What about Sully?" She asks confused.  
  
I look down at my feet and push the snow around from one side to the other.  
"Uh, that was just temporary... for my probation. I need to get a new partner now that my six months are up." I bite my lower lip, as I lie right to her face.  
  
"I guess we'll need to clear it with Lieu first, but I'm okay with that." She says matter-of-factly.  
  
I let out a slow breath and feel relief wash over me. I can't help but smile. "Okay, I'll go talk to him about it."  
  
"We'll go together. Okay?"  
  
I nod. "Alright, tomorrow, before the shift."  
  
"Don't be late." She teases.  
  
"I won't."   
  
Charlie and Emily come running and crashing into us as they giggle uncontrollably.  
  
"Whoa, guys." Faith laughs heartily as she helps them stay upright in their bulky snowsuits.  
  
I clear my throat before speaking. "Faith is it okay to give them something." I try to motion so she understands before I pull my goodies out for them.   
  
"Yeah. Sure." She nods and looks down at Charlie and Emily. "They could use a treat."  
  
I crouch down and pull out two chocolate bars from my coat pocket. "Here's one for you, Charlie and one for you Emily." I hold them out and they both look at their mom before accepting the chocolates.  
  
"Thanks, Uncle Bosco," they cry out joyously. Emily takes a step towards me and throws her arms around my neck. I don' know why I'm so surprised by her affection but I don't even hesitate to pull her close and whisper a thank you in her ear.  
  
She pulls away with a mischievous grin on her face as her hand snakes into my pocket and searches for more.  
  
"Emily, stop that. That's not nice." Faith scolds her laughingly.  
  
"No, that's okay." I tell Faith as she pulls Charlie and Emily away from me.  
  
"Well, we need to get back inside before I have two little Popsicles on my hands." The kids giggle at her choice of words. "I'll see you tomorrow."   
  
"Yeah, tomorrow." I repeat.  
  
Faith turns and walks away as he pulls Charlie and Emily behind her. Before they get to the end of the park, the kids turn and wave wildly to me.   
  
I watch my breath stream out in the cold, crisp air and I smile as a million miles of distance, a thousand lonely nights, hundreds of voices evaporate in the wave of a small hand, and in the laugh of a child.  
  
I look up and see blue sky and remember how their love touched me. I wave back to Emily and Charlie knowing that I didn't let him win. That I remembered the love they showed me, that I didn't let evil destroy goodness that I refused to deny their very existence.  
  
As I blink away the sunlight, I see Squirt, her brother, all the children and the other villagers laughing and waving. I allow them to come to life again. I choose to remember the best of them thus allowing them to live once more. And as I tilt my head back and feel the sun warm my skin, I promise them that I won't ever allow their voices to be silenced again.

The End. 


End file.
